The Emma Harte 7-Book Collection: A Woman of Substance, Hold the Dream, To Be the Best, Emma’s Secret, Unexpected Blessings, Just Rewards, Breaking the Rules. Barbara Taylor BradfordЧитать онлайн книгу.
it.’
A faint smile flickered in Olivia’s eyes. ‘She is my sister, after all.’ She sighed and shook her head. Her face was tinged with sadness. She had long been aware of Adele’s deep-seated inner conflicts, her inability to create a stable relationship with anyone, least of all Adam, and she sighed again. ‘I have really tried to help her since I have been at Fairley, but she is so wary and truculent at times it is quite a difficult task.’ Olivia leaned forward with some intensity and continued, ‘Do you know, Adam, as strange as this might sound, I feel she is suspicious of me.’
‘It doesn’t seem strange at all. She is the same with me, these days,’ he said. ‘In a way, I am sorry I did not discuss Adele’s health with you when you first arrived in February. But I didn’t want to worry you unduly. I must confess, though, I was a bit concerned about her last year. Her behaviour was so extraordinary it was—’
Adam paused, seeking the appropriate word, and finally he said, ‘Her behaviour was actually rather irrational. There is no other way of describing it. However, she has improved enormously in the past six months, and so I hesitated to alarm you unnecessarily.’ He smiled faintly, looking shamefaced. ‘And you have had your hands full with this mismanaged household since you arrived.’
Olivia shifted her position on the sofa and crossed her legs. Her heart went out to him. He looked so boyish and vulnerable. ‘You could have spoken to me, Adam. A burden shared is often so much easier to carry,’ she said sympathetically. ‘Of course, I know Andrew Melton has been a great help to you. He told me you have discussed Adele with him, from time to time. When I last saw him he sounded most encouraged, and very optimistic about her—’ Olivia’s voice wavered, and stopped.
Adam discovered he was unable to meet her gaze. He said, ‘When did you have occasion to see Andrew Melton?’
He spoke with such harshness, Olivia was further startled. ‘Why, he has been to a number of my dinner parties in London, and he has taken me to the opera and concerts on several occasions,’ she said quietly, baffled by his manner. ‘He naturally asked me about Adele. I hope you don’t think Andrew betrayed a confidence.’ When he did not reply, she said in a more insistent tone, ‘You don’t, do you?’
Adam ignored this question. The anger he was now experiencing was overwhelming. ‘So you have been seeing quite a lot of Andrew,’ he said at last in a tight voice.
‘There is nothing improper in that, is there, Adam? My being friendly with Andrew? After all, you introduced us. Now you look most disapproving.’
‘No, of course there is nothing wrong in your seeing him. And I am not disapproving,’ he said, his voice low.
Oh, yes, you are, Olivia thought, although she still could not conceive the reason for his attitude. He and Andrew were the closest and oldest of friends. She sat back on the sofa and folded her hands in her lap, saying nothing. She did not want to upset him further.
Adam could no longer bear to keep his face averted. He was compelled to look at her. Their eyes met. He saw the questions in hers, the confusion and hurt on her face. Her lips parted as if to speak, but no words were forthcoming. She is so incredibly lovely, he thought. Yet there is something frail about her at this moment, something so very vulnerable. His heart shifted, and as he continued to look into her eyes, those eyes as blue as speedwells, the most curious longing swept through him. He ached to put his arms around her, to hold her close to him, to beg her forgiveness for his curtness, to expunge the sadness on her face with his kisses. With his kisses. He was appalled.
And then he knew. Adam Fairley recognized, with the most stunning clarity, what his agitation and tension and restlessness were all about. He stood up abruptly and gripped the mantel-shelf. You bloody fool, he thought. You utter bloody fool. You are jealous. You were jealous of Bruce McGill earlier, when he was hovering around Olivia. And you are jealous of Andrew Melton because he is infinitely more eligible. You would be jealous of any man who so much as looked at her. You are jealous because you want her for yourself.
He felt the blood rushing up into his face. He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach and he thought he would never be able to look at her again without betraying his feelings. Staring broodingly into the grate he became aware of the glass in his hand. Dazedly he lifted it to his cold lips and tossed the brandy down in one gulp.
Olivia sensed, rather than saw, his disquiet, for his face was hidden from her. She sat very still, and waited, hoping he would confide in her. She glanced at him surreptitiously through the corner of her eye, and she curbed the impulse to reach out and rest her hand on his arm comfortingly. He moved his head imperceptibly, and his face was starkly revealed to her. It was rigidly set and his lips were so pale they were almost white. He gripped the mantel with one hand, and a muscle in his face began to work.
‘Adam! Adam! You look strange. What on earth’s the matter?’ she cried.
Vaguely he heard her voice. He shut his eyes tightly and then opened them quickly. ‘Nothing’s wrong. I’m perfectly all right,’ he said curtly. He had to get out of here. At once. Before he behaved dishonourably. Disgraced his name. Made a fool of himself. He did not move, and he admitted to himself, with a terrible sinking feeling, that he could not move. Yet in all good conscience he had to leave. He could not abuse her position in his house, take advantage of her vulnerability under his roof. Like a sleepwalker he moved across the floor.
‘Adam! Where are you going?’ Olivia called after him. She stood up. Her face was ashen. Her voice shook as she cried, ‘Have I done something to offend you, Adam?’
Slowly he turned on his heels and looked directly at her. He noted the concern in her face, the alarm in her eyes, and he was moved in a way he had not been moved for years. How could you ever offend me, my love? he thought. Once more he had that crushing urge to reach out for her, to pull her into his arms. He swallowed hard. ‘You have not done or said anything to upset me, Olivia,’ he answered as evenly as possible, striving for normality.
He hesitated, and in that moment of hesitation he weakened. And Adam Fairley was undone.
‘I was simply going down to the library to get myself another brandy and a cigar,’ he lied. As he spoke he knew he could not leave her. He could not leave her here alone as long as that look compounded of fright and perplexity remained in her eyes.
‘I have a decanter of brandy here,’ she said, gesturing to the console table. ‘But no cigars, I’m afraid. There are plenty of cigarettes, of course.’ Without waiting for him to answer, Olivia picked up the glass he had left on the mantelshelf and took a step in the direction of the console in front of the window.
He strode across the room and took the glass from her. His hand brushed hers and he felt small shock waves running up his arm. ‘Please, Olivia, sit down. I will fix it myself,’ he said firmly. He pressed her gently on to the sofa. It seemed to him that her flesh burned his fingers through the thin silk of the robe she was wearing.
Adam stood at the console with his back to her, his hand clutching the neck of the crystal decanter. He closed his eyes. Oh, my God. My God. I love her. I’ve loved her for years, he thought. How could I not have realized that before? I want her. Oh God, how I want her. I want her more than I have ever wanted any other woman. But you cannot have her, a small voice answered in the back of his mind. His hand tightened on the decanter. He must take command of himself and of his emotions. He must not embarrass her, or frighten her. He must behave as normally as he always had in her presence and as a gentleman of honour.
‘Do you mind if I open the window, Olivia? It’s frightfully hot in here,’ Adam said at last.
‘No, please do,’ Olivia said quietly. Her panic had been allayed, but she was still bewildered by his behaviour.
Olivia’s eyes had followed Adam across the room, her gaze preoccupied, her face wreathed with concern. But suddenly her full attention was riveted on him. He was reaching across the table to open the window, and his body was at an oblique angle. The silk shirt stretched tautly across his broad back and shoulders and forearms, his exceptional physique apparent through