Scarlet Lady. SARA WOODЧитать онлайн книгу.
baths and rigorous devotion to duty. Leo had touched her heart when he’d told her that his mother had never cuddled him and had died in a riding accident when he was five.
Her own childhood had been hell too. No way was she going to inflict misery on her own flesh and blood in the same way. When she had a child, she wanted to be free to give it the love that she and Leo had been denied. But first their marriage had to be strong.
‘You know why we delayed—’
‘Your figure. Your career,’ he said accusingly.
She stiffened. ‘No! that isn’t true! Leo, I never knew you could be so cruel—’
‘I was never cuckolded before!’ he said tightly.
She gasped in dismay and scanned the cold, bleak face for some sign of pity. None. Only that merciless glare. Pain seared through her. ‘No man has ever made love to me but you!’ she replied vehemently, her fingers picking fretfully at the pearl buttons of her suit. The curl of his mouth grew more contemptuous. ‘You have to believe me, Lao!’ she cried passionately, near to hysterics.
‘How can I ever know?’ he shot back.
The question shafted through her like a knife. Ginny raised sorrowful, gold-shot eyes to his, begging for a shred of affection that she could cling to. ‘I can’t prove anything,’ she said in a whisper. ‘Not to you, the public, my friends, your family, the courts. I was hoping—’ She broke off and took a moment to find control of her voice. ‘I lost the case,’ she croaked. ‘I have to pay nearly a million in costs,’ she continued, hoping for some hint that he might want to console her.
‘I told you not to resort to litigation,’ he said in exasperation.
‘Don’t men normally defend their wife’s honour?’ she asked, her near-hysteria making her sound a little sharp.
‘Against the tabloids?’ One peat-brown eyebrow expressed scorn and disagreement. ‘That’s not how it’s done, Ginny It would be tantamount to saying that their lies could have an effect. Ignoring them is more dignified. You went against my advice and now you’re reaping the consequences.’
‘And you mean to chastise me like a disobedient child?’ she retorted. ‘Can’t you see I need—?’
‘No. I won’t throw Brandon money at you any more. You have your own account; use it,’ he said flatly.
Tears trickled down her cheeks and into the corners of her parted lips. ‘Oh, drat!’ she rasped angrily, knuckling them away, not caring if her eye make-up became smudged. ‘Leo, I wasn’t asking for money; I’ll earn more if I have to—do shows, TV interviews, anything—but...I...’
Overwhelmed, she reached out her arms to him in a piteous gesture. He ignored her plea. She knew that he was stubborn. Once, he’d defied his family to marry her and had defended her when they didn’t rush to produce children as soon as everyone expected. And once he’d admired her success.
Now they no longer had the same goals, she thought miserably. Their lives were drawing apart. They had become strangers and he didn’t want to defend her any more.
‘Your career means a lot to you,’ he observed.
‘Naturally,’ she said huskily. ‘I’ve worked hard. It’s given me self-esteem, Leo!’
‘I know that. I don’t denigrate what you’ve done. I’ve been proud of you.’ His hooded eyes brooded on her. ‘But... you can’t be everything to all people and do it well, Ginny,’ he said in a gentler tone than before.
‘I had to try!’ she cried in exasperation. ‘Don’t you see? If I hadn’t kept my name up top and continued with the shows during the run-up to the trial, I’d have been yesterday’s face in the twinkling of an eye. And what else would I do?’ she asked hotly. ‘You don’t seriously think I could sit around all day discussing menus and arranging flowers, do you?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ he growled.
Ginny drove her teeth into her lower lip, knowing that she’d been unfair. He’d never asked that of her. ‘What do you want from me?’ she asked.
‘Exclusivity,’ he rasped rawly.
She controlled the urge to wince. ‘I am yours. Wholly yours.’
‘Are you?’
Her mouth trembled. It was clear that he didn’t believe her. ‘My darling, can’t we start again? Please hold me. I need your arms around me so badly—’
‘And I’ve needed yours many times and you’ve not been there,’ he said quietly. ‘It’s not a marriage any more—’
‘It will be!’ she cried in panic, her hand pressing her chest where her heart banged painfully against her ribs. ‘It’s been a bad time but we can be together again—’
‘We both have to want that,’ he muttered.
Her eyes rounded in horror. His serious expression scared her. Cold to the bone, she dreaded to be told that he didn’t love her any longer. She tried to speak but could only croak out a plaintive little ‘Leo!’
‘It’s true, Ginny,’ he muttered, the line of his mouth as wintry as the atmosphere at Castlestowe. ‘I’m not sure you understand how to live and behave normally any more. Ever since you began to hit the big time, you’ve been spinning into orbit and getting more out of control as the years go by. And now you’re famous people fix things for you. Hair, teeth, nails. They wax your legs, drive you wherever you want to go, arrange your accommodation, whisk you to parties and even dress you!’
“It’s not like that!’ she protested. ’You and the public only see what the film crews want you to see! People dashing around trying to look important and making sure they get into camera shot!’
‘But it’s an unreal life,’ he insisted. ‘What the hell do you know about something as everyday as marriage? You don’t realise it takes nurturing and nourishing to keep it alive and on firel’ he cried, his voice rising. ‘Every time there’s a picture of you with some leering film star or politician I get sniggers from people I know, and I can tell they’re wondering if I believe half the things that are written about you! Then you have to go and defend your precious reputation in open court—and you lose!’ he roared. ‘Ginny, if you haven’t been sleeping with every PR man in sight and any fake-tanned actor who’s up for an Oscar, everyone else thinks you have—and that’s crucifying me!’
‘I know! I’m sorry! I really am!’ she wailed.
Was that it? Had his pride been wounded because his wife was under suspicion? Ginny wondered if he’d had to defend her to his tough old grandfather, apologising for the dreadful publicity. And Leo was hurt. She could see that now; there was pain in his eyes and the lines that ran to the corners of his mouth.
Hesitantly she took a step or two forwards till she was an inch away from him. The depth of his anguish reached out to her heart and she longed to throw herself into his arms, to comfort him—herself too. To feel the strength of him encircling her, protecting her. Even a fighter had to take a rest and she’d been battling for too long.
‘I hate that side of it!’ she said fervently. ‘You have to believe that—’
‘But will you stop taking one assignment after another without giving yourself a decent break?’ he demanded.
The question arrested her. Standing so close to him, her wan face uplifted, her famous tawny eyes wide with wonder, she knew that she wanted to. At that moment she’d had enough, and her job had evolved into a love-hate affair. But it had been her dream since she was tiny to be one of the top models in the world. She’d only just reached that status. Could she give it up and admit that she couldn’t take the heat?
‘I’ve never backed down. Never given up,’ she explained slowly.
Although there was a brief softening