Mr. Right All Along. Jennifer TaylorЧитать онлайн книгу.
‘It was, well … different, shall I say.’
‘Daisy’s mother said it was her favourite nursery rhyme,’ Eve replied defensively, standing up.
She bent over the bed where five-year-old Daisy Martin was lying curled up into a tight little ball and Ryan got another shock when he saw her smile at the child. She looked so like the old Eve when she smiled like that, happy and warm and caring. It made the change in her all the more marked so that his interest was piqued even more. He realised that he wouldn’t rest until he had found out what had happened to bring about such a massive change in her.
‘I’ll come back to see you later, sweetheart. Close your eyes and have a little sleep now. There’s a good girl.’ She gently smoothed back the child’s thick black curls then headed to the door, pausing when Ryan failed to move out of her way.
‘Sorry.’
He stepped aside, automatically following her along the corridor although he had been heading to the canteen before he’d got sidetracked. Still, lunch could wait. He was more interested in finding out what had happened to Eve in the past few years, although he wasn’t vain enough to think she would simply come out and tell him. Eve preferred to keep her own counsel these days and she would be as unlikely to open her heart to him as to anyone else.
The thought stung just a little and far more than it should have done. Although they’d been friends—good friends too—they’d not had a relationship; Ryan had made sure of that. Oh, there’d been that one occasion after he had kissed her under the mistletoe when he had almost caved in but he had realised in time what a mistake it would be.
Although Eve was extremely pretty with that long red-gold hair and those wonderful grey-green eyes, she was very different from the women he normally dated. He preferred women who were more worldly wise, women, like him, who weren’t looking for commitment, and Eve hadn’t fitted that bill. Even though she had ticked so many other boxes, he had never tried to turn their friendship into something more, especially after that kiss. He had realised that night how easy it would be to get involved with her and it had been the last thing he’d wanted.
It had been a relief, in fact, when she’d started seeing one of the registrars a short time later because it had stopped him fantasising about what might have been. Eve wasn’t for him but even though he’d known that, it had been harder than he’d expected to get her out of his head after that kiss. However, once Damien Blackwell had appeared on the scene, everything had changed. Eve’s time had been taken up by Damien and she’d stopped spending so much time with him and their friends.
Ryan had told himself he was glad that she was happy, and he had been too even though he had missed her. Their friendship had meant a lot to him so he’d been stunned when he had heard that she had dropped out of the training programme. Eve hadn’t told him what she was planning; one day she’d been there and the next she’d gone and that was the last he’d seen of her. Although he had often wondered why she had given up, he hadn’t tried to find her. He’d been wary of doing that, of getting involved. He had nothing to offer Eve so he had told himself that it was her decision and that was the end of the matter.
Now, however, Ryan couldn’t help wondering if it was Damien who was responsible for the change in her, Damien who had taken away her sparkle, her warmth, her humour and turned her into the distant young woman she was today. He sensed it was true and a rare rush of anger swept through him. He couldn’t bear to think that Eve’s life had been blighted by the other man. It made his own decision not to get involved all the more valid. He didn’t intend to be responsible for ruining some poor woman’s life!
Eve brought up Daisy Martin’s file on the computer. The little girl had sickle cell anaemia, an inherited blood disease. Daisy’s red blood cells were abnormal resulting in a chronic and very severe form of anaemia. The youngest of three children born to Jamaican parents, Daisy was the only one to have inherited the condition. It had first presented itself when she’d been a baby, causing fatigue, headaches, shortness of breath and jaundice. Although Daisy had been fairly well for some time, she had recently suffered a crisis and had been admitted to HDPU as she required careful nursing. She was such a lovely child too, Eve thought sadly as she started to write up her notes. It didn’t seem fair that she should suffer this way.
She typed in the time and the date, doing her best to ignore Ryan. She always felt uneasy around him, always on her guard, always wary in case she slipped up. After all, Ryan had known her in the old days, pre-Damien, and she was very aware that he must have noticed how much she had changed.
She sighed, recalling her shock when she’d discovered that Ryan was working at Dalverston General. She had applied for the post specifically because she’d thought she would be unlikely to meet up with anyone she had known in the past. Her peers had moved on to bigger and better things and, like Ryan, were part way up the professional ladder now.
Dropping out had set her back and she had a lot of ground to make up. She didn’t need the added stress of having to explain why she had given up her studies. She had explained it all to Roger Hopkins, the hospital’s manager, when she had been for her interview, and that had been difficult enough.
Thankfully, it was only Ryan who knew what she had done and although people might wonder why she was still an F1 at her age, it was doubtful if they would ask, especially when she made a point of keeping them at arm’s length. If anyone questioned her, it would be Ryan so she had to be especially careful around him. Maybe they had been good friends but she didn’t want to admit to him what a fool she’d been and had no intention whatsoever of letting him know how ashamed she felt. She would feel even more humiliated if Ryan found out the truth.
‘Daisy’s definitely improving, isn’t she?’
Ryan sat down on the edge of the desk and Eve flinched. She couldn’t help it. Although she had learned to deal with her fear of physical contact with regard to her patients, it still made her feel a little panicky whenever anyone got too close, especially a man.
Not every man was like Damien, she reminded herself. Ryan wasn’t a bully or a control freak…. or not so far as she knew. He had been warm and funny and full of good humour when she’d known him before and he didn’t appear to have changed, although she couldn’t be sure, could she? Damien had seemed very different in the beginning, before she had got to know him better and discovered what he was capable of.
Panic rose inside her and she had to breathe in and out before she could reply. Even then her voice sounded strained and she hated it. She didn’t want to be like this, didn’t want to be a victim, but that’s what she was. She had allowed Damien Blackwell to take over her life, to take control of her. It would be a long time before she found her true self again, if it ever happened.
‘She is. She’s a lot brighter today.’ Eve quickly typed in the few sentences that were all that were needed to update the file and saved it. Standing up, she came around the desk and had to pause yet again when she realised that she couldn’t get past Ryan without touching him. Even though she was over the worst of her fears, the thought of feeling his skin brush against hers made her breath catch. She could cope with touching the children, could even manage to touch another adult if the occasion warranted it, but the thought of touching Ryan made her tremble for some reason.
‘Hey, are you all right?’ He leant forward, his dark brown eyes filled with concern. ‘You’ve gone really pale. Do you feel faint?’
Eve struggled to get a grip. ‘I … I never had any breakfast,’ she murmured. Would she ever get over this fear completely, ever be able to enjoy a physical relationship again? She had tried everything, had had counselling, spoken to other victims of abuse, but the fear was so deeply rooted, the memories too clear: first the seemingly loving touch and then the violence …
‘Come on. I’ll treat you to lunch.’
Ryan put his hand under her arm to lead her to the door and Eve freaked out. She pushed him away.
‘Don’t touch me!’
He stepped back at once, his face set. ‘I’m sorry. I