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laughed as well and said, “OK, kids. Break it up. No arguing. Don’t spoil a perfect vacation. Let’s all have something to eat.”
She joined the chattering, laughing group for an evening snack.
As they ate, she and Blaine kept looking at each other lovingly.
They really were a couple with three teenaged children to raise.
Riley wondered …
When was the last time I had a night this wonderful?
Riley was barefoot, walking on a stretch of beach as the morning light gleamed on the waves. The gulls were calling and the breeze was cool and gentle.
It’s going to be a beautiful day, she thought.
But even so, something seemed deeply wrong.
It took her a moment to realize …
I’m alone.
She looked up and down the beach and saw no one as far as she could see.
Where are they? she wondered.
Where were April and Jilly and Crystal?
And where was Blaine?
A strange dread started to rise up in her, and also a terrifying thought …
Maybe I dreamed the whole thing.
Yes, maybe last night had never happened.
None of it.
Those loving moments with Blaine as they planned their future together.
The laughter of her two daughters—and also Crystal, who was about to become her third daughter.
Her warm, rich feeling of belonging—a feeling she’d spent her whole life seeking and craving.
All just a dream.
And now she was alone—as alone as she’d ever been in her life.
Just then she heard laughing and chattering behind her.
She spun around and saw them …
Blaine, Crystal, April, and Jilly were all running around throwing a beach ball to one another.
Riley breathed a deep sigh of relief.
Of course it was real, she thought.
Of course I didn’t just imagine it.
Riley laughed with joy and broke into a run to join them.
But then something hard and invisible stopped her dead in her tracks.
It was some kind of a barrier that separated her from the people she loved most.
Riley walked along the barrier, running her hands along it, thinking …
Maybe there’s a way around it.
Then she heard a familiar rasp of laughter.
“Give it up, girl,” a voice said. “That life’s not for you.”
Riley turned around and saw someone standing just a few feet away from her.
It was a man in the full-dress uniform of a Marine colonel. He was tall and gangly, his face worn and wrinkled from years of anger and alcohol.
He was the last human being in the world Riley wanted to see.
“Daddy,” she murmured with despair.
He chuckled grimly and said, “Hey, you don’t have to sound so goddamn sad about it. I thought you’d be glad to be reunited with your own flesh and blood.”
“You’re dead,” Riley said.
Daddy shrugged and said, “Well, as you already know, that doesn’t stop me from checking in from time to time.”
Riley dimly realized that this was the truth.
This wasn’t the first time she’d seen her father since his death last year.
And this wasn’t the first time she’d been puzzled by his presence. Just how she could be talking to a dead man made no real sense to her.
But she did know one thing for sure.
She wanted nothing to do with him.
She wanted to be among people who didn’t make her hate herself.
She turned and started to walk toward Blaine and the girls, who were still playing with the beach ball.
Again she was stopped by that invisible barrier.
Her father laughed. “How many times have I got to tell you? You’ve got no business with them.”
Riley’s whole body shook—whether with rage or heartbreak, she wasn’t sure.
She turned toward her father and yelled …
“Leave me alone!”
“Are you sure?” he said. “I’m all you’ve got. I’m all you are.”
Riley snarled, “I’m nothing like you. I know what it means to love and be loved.”
Her father shook his head and shuffled his feet in the sand.
“It’s not that I don’t sympathize,” he said. “It’s a damn crazy useless life you’ve got—seeking justice for people who’re already dead, exactly the people who don’t need justice anymore. Just like it was for me in ’Nam, a stupid war there was no way to win. But you’ve got no choice, and it’s time to make peace with it. You’re a hunter, like me. I raised you that way. We don’t know anything else—neither one of us.”
Riley locked eyes with him, testing her will against his.
Sometimes she could best him, making him blink.
But now wasn’t one of those times.
She blinked and looked away.
Her father sneered at her and said, “Hell, if you want to be alone, that’s fine with me. I’m not exactly enjoying your company either.”
He turned and walked away down the beach.
Riley turned around, and this time she saw them all walking away—April and Jilly hand in hand, Blaine and Crystal heading their own separate way.
As they started to disappear in the morning missed, Riley pounded on the barrier and tried to shout …
“Come back! Please come back! I love you all!”
Her lips moved but made no sound at all.
Riley eyes snapped open and she found herself lying in bed.
A dream, she thought. I should have known it was a dream.
Her father sometimes came to her in dreams.
How else could he visit her, being dead?
It took her another moment to realize that she was crying.
The overwhelming loneliness, the isolation from the people she loved most, the words of warning from her father …
“You’re a hunter, like me.”
Small wonder she’d woken up in such distress.
She reached for a tissue and managed to calm her sobbing. But even then, that lonely feeling wouldn’t go away. She reminded herself that the kids were sleeping in another room, and Blaine was in another.
But it seemed hard to believe somehow.
Alone in the dark, she felt as though any other people were far away, on the other side of the world.
She thought about getting up and tiptoeing down the hall and joining Blaine in his room, but …
The