Take that fucking Walkman off, get your arse in here and show me how I do an all-staff e-mail. Every time I click ‘ok’ on the address it copies it to Miller Shanks Helsinki.

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.27am

to… All Departments

cc… [email protected]

re… NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS

First, a happy new Millennium to each and every one of you. Thank you also for sacrificing your bank holidays today to come in and begin the bid for the Coca-Cola business. As you know, in two weeks we pitch for this most prestigious advertising account. To win it we must all perform out of our skins.

Daunting as it may seem, I know we can scale this peak. Those in doubt should take a look at what we have achieved in the last twelve months. When I joined you at the beginning of ’99 we were in the doldrums and Jim Weissmuller in New York gave me a mountain to climb.

He said ‘make Miller Shanks London big again’. Pitch wins for Freedom Catalogues, the LOVE Channel and the £11m Mako Cars account have catapulted us back into the Campaign top twenty for the first time in eight years.

He said ‘make Miller Shanks respected’. In the Marketing Week survey that asked clients which advertising agency they would most like to work with, we rocketed from 45^th to 33^rd.

He said ‘win awards’. I brought in Simon Horne to shake up the creative department and to do just that. His efforts are already paying off, with Pinki and Liam’s fabulous ads for Kimbelle Sanpro scooping bronze at Creative Circle.

We can all be extremely proud of our efforts. We are still a long way from the summit, but base camp has been established and the final assault beckons!

Let’s break camp, attach our lines and get off to a flier in 2000 by adding an $84 billion brand to our client list.

Go, go, go!

David Crutton

CEO

[email protected]
3/1/00, 8.46am (10.46am local)

to… [email protected]

cc…

re… NEW MILLENNIUM – NEW HEIGHTS

Your e-mail I think is coming to me in Helsinki by mistake, but it’s notwithstanding fun to be reading about my chums in London. I was not realising that mountaineering was possible in Old London Town. Most fascinating!

By the way, is there any help we give you with the Coca-Cola pitch? It is a very popular drink here in icy cold Finland, especially with our many ‘groovy’ young folk. As fellow CEO, I am asking my red-hot creativity department to have lots of brilliant ideas for you.

While I am on cyberspacenet, can please you get me tickets for Great Balls of Grease? Mrs van Helden and my good self will be visiting in London at 12 February. We will be packing our crampons.

Your pal, Pertti

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.49am

to… Fiona Craigie

cc…

re… your fat butt

Get your fucking nose out of Ms London and explain why, despite your best efforts, my last e-mail went to that pathetic twat, van Helden. And

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e Matt Beaumont

Dedication

Contents

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.13am

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.27am

[email protected] 3/1/00, 8.46am (10.46am local)

David Crutton – 3/1/00, 8.49am

e

Matt Beaumont

[email protected]
3/1/00, 8.46am (10.46am local)