Back to You. Lauren DaneЧитать онлайн книгу.
I mean, I was freaked when it first happened. But Maddie’s going to be fine. It’s...Vaughan.”
Stacey slid up onto the stool across the island from Kelly. “Please tell me you didn’t sleep with him.”
“I didn’t sleep with him!” She kept her tone low, not wanting to wake Kensey just yet. All this stuff had been bubbling up and she’d had no one to say it to. Thank goodness for her friend.
Stacey arched a perfectly shaped brow. “You wanted to.”
Kelly had met Stacey eight years before when Stacey had been her divorce attorney. After the divorce had been final she’d been minus a husband but up a friend.
An unlikely pairing, but the two of them clicked. Stacey was the sister of Kelly’s heart and a big part of the way Kelly had been able to stand up and claim a safe place for herself and her kids.
The moment Kelly had fully fallen in love with her friend was when Kelly overheard Stacey giving a stern lecture to Vaughan’s attorney about not underestimating Kelly’s intelligence simply because she happened to be beautiful. No one had ever defended her like that before. It usually tended to be double-edged. In her modeling days she’d had friends, but they’d all been wrapped up in the track to the top. She did have people she kept contact with since she’d left, but Stacey had become the closest friend Kelly ever made.
Which also meant Kelly couldn’t lie to her. She put her head down, resting on her arms and groaned. “I always want to. That’s not a secret. I feel like I need one of those ‘days without a workplace accident’ signs only with ‘X days since I last boned my hot-as-shit ex-husband.’”
Stacey fanned her face a second. “He is hot as shit. No denying it. One of the most superior male specimens I’ve ever seen. And yet, he’s a thirtysomething man-boy who lives with his mom. Don’t forget that.”
Kelly burst into laughter. “He has his own house. He doesn’t live with them.”
Stacey snorted. “Oh, I see, he lives in the carriage house with his own entrance! Please. Same difference, Kelly. You can’t have a life with a man who lets anyone else have that much say in his decisions concerning your family.”
“I hate it when I can’t just say, you’re jaded because you’re a divorce attorney.”
“And why is that?” Stacey had no problem making Kelly come out and say it.
“Because you’re right. In part. He’s suddenly in my space. Sure, I see him often enough when he’s not recording, writing or on tour. He sees the girls regularly, is what I mean. Which is good,” Kelly added.
“Get to the real point and stop giving the man a gold star for doing what is a necessary and normal thing. It’s not a special achievement to be there for your children. Nor should you have to note it every time like a credit he gets paid for. Ugh. He’s supposed to be a good parent.”
When Kelly thought about her own upbringing, she couldn’t help but give Vaughan credit because she’d grown up without anyone who loved her the way he loved their children.
“What about Vaughan and Kelly? Don’t get sidetracked by your obsessive need to be nice. Not when we’re talking about sex and stuff. He’s reacting to your engagement.”
Kelly thought so, too. “Maybe. When I told him about the engagement he was surprised.”
“But the tool held his tongue to the point of pretty much rolling with it A-OK.”
Kelly shook her head, disagreeing with that. “It felt more like he ran from it. Not acceptance. Avoidance.” The distinction shouldn’t be important, but it was. “It’s recent and stupid and it doesn’t say anything. Not really. But it feels like he’s trying to get close to me. Like a deliberate step into my life.”
She told Stacey about the thing he’d done at the table the day before and the support he’d shown her at the hospital and even after. And about the argument in the tree house.
“You got mad at him? Like to his face?” Stacey put some potato salad on her sandwich and topped it with a slice of bread. Kelly shook her head. Who was she to judge? She’d eaten mu shu pork before six in the morning.
“Suddenly I just... I wasn’t able to keep it back. So I got mad as hell and said all sorts of stuff. I don’t regret any of it. I thought about being sorry but then, you know what? It felt good to finally let the anger out. The problem is that now it’s like a switch has been flipped or something. I can’t stop thinking about him or why he’s evading my questions.”
Stacey pointed with her fork for extra emphasis. “He’s evading your questions because he wants you back. I actually thought he never would get off his ass to fight for you. Bold move, if he’s committed to it. Maybe he can pull it off. Neither of you are the same people you were when you divorced.”
Kelly blinked, beyond words for long seconds. “And what should Ross think about that?”
Stacey kept eating her sandwich.
“So, let me get this straight. You’re not going to tell me to lock the door and keep an aspirin between my knees?” Kelly asked.
Stacey laughed. “It wouldn’t do any good. I love you and want you to be with a man who loves you and deserves you. Ross is nice, though he’s way more connected to his ex-wife’s family than I think is normal. You let them eat here when your kid was in the hospital. That’s not weekly dinners at your ex-in-laws’ like he does. Regardless, Ross would be a proficient spouse. He’s a good provider—not that you need it, but it’s a good indicator of character—and he enjoys your girls. The ones on your chest and the ones you gave birth to. But he doesn’t adore you. He doesn’t cherish you. He wants you. Plus? You don’t love him.”
Denial sprang to her lips automatically. “I do so love him.” Kelly sighed as she searched for something she was more certain of. “He’s everything I’ve been missing. He’s stable. He came to the hospital because he knew the Hurleys were going to show up and I’d be there alone. I said yes to his proposal. I should have said yes.” Kelly added a sharp nod of her head to underline that. Stacey kept looking at her. “What? I’m sorry, but it’s true. It was a logical choice. His girls and mine get along. We share the same general parenting philosophy. He’s a good choice.”
Kelly winced at how empty the words sounded. Though maybe there was a slight flavor of desperation, a need to believe it. If she just said it all over and over again she’d believe it.
“Jeez. Yes, yes, Ross is a great guy. And he’ll make the right woman a great husband. You’re not that woman. He can’t handle you. He doesn’t even know it yet, but he will sooner or later. And resent you for it. Right now, though, he wants more than you can give so he’s accepting that you’re settling. Which will leave you both unhappy. I think marrying Ross would be a terrible mistake. No matter what you decide with Vaughan,” Stacey added. “The world is full of nice people who make good choices and floss. But those things, in and of themselves, aren’t enough to get married to someone over.”
“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”
Stacey peeked in a few containers she’d brought out from the fridge, sniffed a few, putting most back but bringing the rest to the table. “It’s not like I’ve hidden my general feelings about Ross.”
That much was true. But Stacey was really good at seeing past the emotional but not necessarily important stuff to get to the heart of the matter. She gave great advice, even if she herself didn’t always follow it.
“Well, but whether or not he’s bland, that’s not going to color your perception as to my marrying him. You’re too single-minded and Borg-like for that. It would be irrelevant unless you had a good reason,” Kelly said.
“Borg-like?” Stacey snickered. “That’s a good one. Also, correct. Because even if I hated him, if you loved him and