A Mother’s Gift: Two Classic Novels. Josephine CoxЧитать онлайн книгу.
I can’t make it all better. Sometimes, when I’m in my bed with the sleep lying heavy on me, the awful memories come flooding back, and I think about Barney’s loved ones.’ She lowered her gaze. ‘I should tell them, shouldn’t I?’
Adam sighed deeply. ‘You must follow your heart on that one, Lucy, my lass. I can’t advise. No one can.’
‘If only I knew whether it would make matters better or worse.’ Her voice broke. ‘God help me, old friend, I don’t know what to do.’
‘You should ask yourself: if you were to tell them, would it be to ease their burden … or your own?’
Lucy had already asked herself that same question many times. ‘I don’t think anything could ease my burden,’ she answered thoughtfully, ‘but it pains me badly, to think they may never know what sort of man he really was.’
Sometimes the weight of it all was unbearable. ‘For the rest of their lives, they’ll remember what happened; they’ll think of it and the bitterness will rise. They can never see the truth. They’ll see it the way Barney wanted them to see it.’ She gulped back the threatening tears. ‘That’s a terrible thing, you know, Adam. It isn’t fair to them, and it isn’t fair to Barney.’
Weighing it up in his mind, Adam slowly nodded his head. ‘You must do what your heart tells you, my darling,’ he reiterated kindly. ‘Like I say, no one can advise you on that, though once the truth is out, there’ll be no going back. You do realise that, don’t you?’
‘Only too well.’ The words sailed out on a long, quiet sigh. ‘What would it do to them? Would they blame themselves? Would they blame me … or Barney? And could they ever find it in their hearts to forgive?’
With both her hands she grabbed him by the arm, as though clinging to him for support. ‘God help me, Adam, if I make the wrong decision, they could be hurt beyond belief. And that wouldn’t be right, because none of it was their doing.’
‘What about Mary?’ Having seen her grow up, he had great affection for Lucy’s daughter. ‘Will you tell her?’
‘She will have to know at some stage.’ Lucy had been giving it some thought for a long time now. ‘I’ve agonised about what it would do to her if she learned the real truth about her daddy, but I’ve always known there would come a day when I would have to tell her the whole story.’
A look of pride flashed in her eyes. ‘Mary is strong. What she learns will come as a shock to her, yes, but I truly believe that in the end, she might just be the one to hold it all together.’
For a moment, the two of them sat and held hands, united. Then, breaking the moment, Lucy let go and looked mischievously at Adam.
‘Before I let you go, will you do me another favour?’
‘Of course!’
‘Knock on Elsie Langton’s door and ask her if she wouldn’t mind coming back to prepare a meal for three.’
He chuckled. ‘You old fox! You’ve got it all planned, haven’t you?’
‘Well, the two of them will never get together with him in the garden freezing half to death and her in the kitchen getting all hot and bothered. It’s up to us old ones to show them the way.’ She gave him a little push. ‘Go on then! Fetch yon Elsie back and tell her she’ll be paid double time for the pleasure.’
Standing up, he looked down on her with admiration. ‘Consider it done,’ he said.
She waved her hand impatiently. ‘Get a move on, then! Don’t stand there until Mary’s up to her neck in potato peelings and cabbage. A whiff of that and our Prince Charming will be gone for good!’
Adam laughed out loud. ‘Mary’s right. You really are all kinds of a bully.’ With that he went away at a smart pace, chuckling and jingling the keys to the big car.
Then he wondered once more about the real reason she had wanted to see Dr Lucas, and his heart sank. God forbid that anything should happen to her, for the world would be a darker place without his Lucy.
Reaching the smithy, Adam parked the big black car and walked up the footpath to the front door. Knowing how Charlie Langton was a bit deaf, he made a fist and knocked soundly on the door.
‘Gawd Almighty!’ Having rushed to see who was at his door, Elsie Langton’s husband was none too pleased to learn the reason for this late visit.
‘Can’t you buggers look after yerselves for five minutes!’ An old Lancastrian who had moved down south many years back, Charlie had lost none of his accent, and even less of his attitude. But he was harmless enough and there had never been such a dedicated blacksmith; besides which he always gave sweets to the children and was straightforward to deal with. You always knew where you were with Charlie, and after a while, folks had come to respect and like him.
Calling him inside he told Adam, ‘The poor lass never stops! She’s rushed in from the big ’ouse, got the dinner on the table, gulped hers down, and now she’s upstairs changing the bedclothes.’
An ordinary man with ordinary needs, Charlie suffered from a nervous twitch in his left eye whenever things got too much for him. The more agitated he grew, the more his eye twitched, and it was twitching now like never before. ‘Bloody folks wi’ money … think yer can do what yer like wi’ such as us!’
Being used to his ways, Adam took no offence. ‘I haven’t got any money,’ he said loudly, ‘and you know as well as I do that the Davidsons always do their best by this village.’
Charlie snorted and turning round, he informed Adam, ‘Aye well, that’s as mebbe, but I might like to ’ave the wife to mesel’ now an’ then. You buggers up at the ’ouse want to think o’ that.’ He gave the smaller man a shrivelling glance. ‘Besides, I might be a bit deaf, but I’ve still got one good ear, so there’s no need to shout like a damned fishwife.’
To Adam’s amusement, Charlie grumbled all the way down the passage. ‘She’ll not want to come back, and I wouldn’t blame ’er neither! If it were up to me, she’d be in the chair warming her feet by the fireside, but she’ll not listen to me, so I’ll not waste me time.’
Arriving at the bottom of the stairs, he raised his voice. ‘ELSIE! It’s the man from the big ’ouse to see yer!’ Giving Adam a scathing glance with the steady eye, he bawled again, ‘WANT BLOOD, THEY DO! YOU’D BEST COME AN’ SEE TO ’IM, ’CAUSE I’VE OTHER THINGS TO BE DOING.’
Within minutes there was a flurry of activity from the upper level, swiftly followed by the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. ‘What’s to do?’ Round and homely, and looking flummoxed, it was Elsie. ‘Oh, Adam!’ Her first thought was for Lucy. ‘She’s not fallen over again, has she?’
‘No,’ he reassured her, ‘it’s nothing like that. She just wondered if you might be able to come back with me and help cook a meal and clear it up afterwards.’ Raising his eyebrows in intimate fashion, he explained, ‘She’s got a visitor – yon chappie from Far Crest Farm – and he seems to have taken a real shine to Mary, and—’
Before he could finish, she gave a knowing wink. ‘I see. And she wants me in the kitchen, so’s the two of them can spend some time together, is that it?’
He smiled with relief. ‘You know her almost as well as I do, Elsie, and yes, that’s the general idea.’
‘And does Mary know what her mother’s up to?’
‘Well, she doesn’t know I’ve been to fetch you, if that’s what you mean. She’s in the kitchen as we speak, preparing the evening meal. I tell you what though, Elsie, she does seem to get on very well with the fellow in question.’
Elsie was delighted. ‘In that case, how can I say no? Mary is a lovely young woman and deserves a good man to take care of her. Is this man a decent sort? Only I’ve not met him to speak to. We exchanged pleasantries