MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING. УильÑм ШекÑпирЧитать онлайн книгу.
BENEDICK.
Is there any way to show such friendship?
BEATRICE.
A very even way, but no such friend.
BENEDICK.
May a man do it?
BEATRICE.
It is a man’s office, but not yours.
BENEDICK. I do love nothing in the world so well as you: is not that strange?
BEATRICE.
As strange as the thing I know not. It were as possible for me to say
I loved nothing so well as you; but believe me not, and yet I lie not;
I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing. I am sorry for my cousin.
BENEDICK.
By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me.
BEATRICE.
Do not swear by it, and eat it.
BENEDICK. I will swear by it that you love me; and I will make him eat it that says I love not you.
BEATRICE.
Will you not eat your word?
BENEDICK.
With no sauce that can be devised to it. I protest I love thee.
BEATRICE.
Why then, God forgive me!
BENEDICK.
What offence, sweet Beatrice?
BEATRICE. You have stayed me in a happy hour: I was about to protest I loved you.
BENEDICK.
And do it with all thy heart.
BEATRICE.
I love you with so much of my heart that none is left to protest.
BENEDICK.
Come, bid me do anything for thee.
BEATRICE.
Kill Claudio.
BENEDICK.
Ha! not for the wide world.
BEATRICE.
You kill me to deny it. Farewell.
BENEDICK.
Tarry, sweet Beatrice.
BEATRICE. I am gone, though I am here: there is no love in you: nay, I pray you, let me go.
BENEDICK.
Beatrice,—
BEATRICE.
In faith, I will go.
BENEDICK.
We’ll be friends first.
BEATRICE.
You dare easier be friends with me than fight with mine enemy.
BENEDICK.
Is Claudio thine enemy?
BEATRICE. Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman? O! that I were a man. What! bear her in hand until they come to take hands, and then, with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour,—O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the marketplace.
BENEDICK.
Hear me, Beatrice,—
BEATRICE.
Talk with a man out at a window! a proper saying!
BENEDICK.
Nay, but Beatrice,—
BEATRICE.
Sweet Hero! she is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone.
BENEDICK.
Beat—-
BEATRICE. Princes and counties! Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly Count Comfect; a sweet gallant, surely! O! that I were a man for his sake, or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into cursies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie and swears it. I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving.
BENEDICK.
Tarry, good Beatrice. By this hand, I love thee.
BEATRICE.
Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it.
BENEDICK.
Think you in your soul the Count Claudio hath wronged Hero?
BEATRICE.
Yea, as sure is I have a thought or a soul.
BENEDICK. Enough! I am engaged, I will challenge him. I will kiss your hand, and so leave you. By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account. As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say she is dead; and so, farewell.
[Exeunt.]
Scene 2. A Prison.
[Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and SEXTON, in gowns; and the Watch, with CONRADE and BORACHIO.]
DOGBERRY.
Is our whole dissembly appeared?
VERGES.
O! a stool and a cushion for the sexton.
SEXTON.
Which be the malefactors?
DOGBERRY.
Marry, that am I and my partner.
VERGES.
Nay, that’s certain: we have the exhibition to examine.
SEXTON. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before Master constable.
DOGBERRY.
Yea, marry, let them come before me. What is your name, friend?
BORACHIO.
Borachio.
DOGBERRY.
Pray write down Borachio. Yours, sirrah?
CONRADE.
I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade.
DOGBERRY.
Write down Master gentleman Conrade. Masters, do you serve God?
BOTH.
Yea, sir, we hope.
DOGBERRY. Write down that they hope they serve God: and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains! Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves, and it will go near to be thought so shortly. How answer you for yourselves?
CONRADE.
Marry, sir, we say we are none.
DOGBERRY.
A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you; but I will go about with him.
Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear: sir, I say to you, it is
thought you are false knaves.
BORACHIO.
Sir, I say to you we are none.
DOGBERRY. Well, stand aside. Fore God, they are both in a tale. Have you writ down, that they are none?
SEXTON. Master constable, you go not the way to examine: you must call forth the watch that are their accusers.
DOGBERRY.
Yea, marry, that’s the eftest way. Let the watch come forth.
Masters, I charge you, in the prince’s name, accuse these men.
FIRST WATCH. This man said, sir, that Don John, the prince’s brother, was a villain.
DOGBERRY. Write down Prince John a villain. Why, this is flat perjury, to call a prince’s brother