Fyodor Dostoyevsky: Complete Novels & Stories (Wisehouse Classics). Fyodor DostoyevskyЧитать онлайн книгу.
“Let us kiss each other, darling,” he went on with insufferable familiarity, addressing the man he had so treacherously insulted. Mr. Golyadkin junior’s unworthy jest seemed to touch a responsive chord, for it contained an artful allusion to an incident with which all were apparently familiar. Our hero was painfully conscious of the hand of his enemies. But he had made up his mind by now. With glowing eyes, with pale face, with a fixed smile he tore himself somehow out of the crowd and with uneven, hurried steps made straight for his Excellency’s private room. In the room next to the last he was met by Andrey Filippovitch, who had only just come out from seeing his Excellency, and although there were present in this room at the moment a good number of persons of whom Mr. Golyadkin knew nothing, yet our hero did not care to take such a fact into consideration. Boldly, resolutely, directly, almost wondering at himself and inwardly admiring his own courage, without loss of time he accosted Andrey Filippovitch, who was a good deal surprised by the unexpected attack.
“Ah!... What is it... what do you want?” asked the head of the division, not hearing Mr. Golyadkin’s hesitant words.
“Andrey Filippovitch, may... might I, Andrey Filippovitch, may I have a conversation with his Excellency at once and in private?” our hero said resolutely and distinctly, fixing the most determined glance on Andrey Filippovitch.
“What next! of course not.” Andrey Filippovitch scanned Mr. Golyadkin from head to foot.
“I say all this, Andrey Filippovitch, because I am surprised that no-one here unmasks the imposter and scoundrel.”
“Wha-a-at!”
“Scoundrel, Andrey Filippovitch!”
“Of whom are you pleased to speak in those terms?”
“Of a certain person, Andrey Filippovitch; I’m alluding, Andrey Filippovitch, to a certain person; I have the right... I imagine, Andrey Filippovitch, that the authorities would surely encourage such action,” added Mr. Golyadkin, evidently hardly knowing what he was saying. “Andrey Filippovitch... but no doubt you see yourself, Andrey Filippovitch, that this honourable action is a mark of my loyalty in every way — of my looking upon my superior as a father, Andrey Filippovitch; I as much as to say look upon my benevolent superior as a father and blindly trust my fate to him. It’s as much as to say... you see...” At this point Mr. Golyadkin’s voice trembled and two tears ran down his eyelashes.
As Andrey Filippovitch listened to Mr. Golyadkin he was so astonished that he could not help stepping back a couple of paces. Then he looked about him uneasily... It is difficult to say how the matter would have ended. But suddenly the door of his Excellency’s room was opened, and he himself came out, accompanied by several officials. All the persons in his room followed in a string. His Excellency called to Andrey Filippovitch and walked beside him, beginning to discuss some business details. When all had set off and gone out of the room, Mr. Golyadkin woke up. Growing calmer, he took refuge under the wing of Anton Antonovitch, who came last in the procession and who, Mr. Golyadkin fancied, looked stern and anxious. “I’ve been talking nonsense, I’ve been making a mess of it again, but there, never mind,” he thought.
“I hope, at least, that you, Anton Antonovitch will consent to listen to me and to enter into my position,” he said quietly, in a voice that still trembled a little. “Rejected by all, I appeal to you. I am still at a loss to understand what Andrey Filippovitch’s words mean, Anton Antonovitch. Explain them to me if you can...”
“Everything will be explained in due time,” Anton Antonovitch replied sternly and emphatically, and as Mr. Golyadkin fancied with an air that gave him plainly to understand that Anton Antonovitch did not wish to continue the conversation. “You will soon know all about it. You will be officially informed about everything today.”
“What do you mean by officially informed, Anton Antonovitch? Why officially?” our hero asked timidly.
“It is not for you and me to discuss what our superiors decide upon, Yakov Petrovitch.”
“Why our superiors, Anton Antonovitch?” said our hero, still more intimidated; “why our superiors? I don’t see what reason there is to trouble our superiors in the matter, Anton Antonovitch... Perhaps you mean to say something about yesterday’s doings, Anton Antonovitch?”
“Oh no, nothing to do with yesterday; there’s something else amiss with you.”
“What is there amiss, Anton Antonovitch? I believe, Anton Antonovitch, that I have done nothing amiss.”
“Why, you were meaning to be sly with some one,” Anton Antonovitch cut in sharply, completely flabbergasting Mr. Golyadkin.
Mr. Golyadkin started, and turned as white as a pocket-handkerchief.
“Of course, Anton Antonovitch,” he said, in a voice hardly audible, “if one listens to the voice of calumny and hears one’s enemies’ tales, without heeding what the other side has to say in its defence, then, of course... then, of course, Anton Antonovitch, one must suffer innocently and for nothing.”
“To be sure; but your unseemly conduct, in injuring the reputation of a virtuous young lady belonging to that benevolent, highly distinguished and well-known family who had befriended you...”
“What conduct do you mean, Anton Antonovitch?”
“What I say. Do you know anything about your praiseworthy conduct in regard to that other young lady who, though poor, is of honourable foreign extraction?”
“Allow me, Anton Antonovitch... if you would kindly listen to me, Anton Antonovitch...”
“And your treacherous behaviour and slander of another person, your charging another person with your own sins. Ah, what do you call that?”
“I did not send him away, Anton Antonovitch,” said our hero, with a tremor; “and I’ve never instructed Petrushka, my man, to do anything of the sort... He has eaten my bread, Anton Antonovitch, he has taken advantage of my hospitality,” our hero added expressively and with deep emotion, so much so that his chin twitched a little and tears were ready to start again.
“That is only your talk, that he has eaten your bread,” answered Anton Antonovitch, somewhat offended, and there was a perfidious note in his voice which sent a pang to Mr. Golyadkin’s heart.
“Allow me most humbly to ask you again, Anton Antonovitch, is his Excellency aware of all this business?”
“Upon my word, you must let me go now, though. I’ve not time for you now... You’ll know everything you need to know today.”
“Allow me, for God’s sake, one minute, Anton Antonovitch.”
“Tell me afterwards...”
“No, Anton Antonovitch; I... you see, Anton Antonovitch... only listen... I am not one for freethinking, Anton Antonovitch; I shun freethinking; I am quite ready for my part... and, indeed, I’ve given up that idea...”
“Very good, very good. I’ve heard that already.”
“No, you have not heard it, Anton Antonovitch. It is something else, Anton Antonovitch: it’s a good thing, really, a good thing and pleasant to hear... As I’ve explained to you, Anton Antonovitch, I admit that idea, that divine Providence has created two men exactly alike, and that a benevolent government, seeing the hand of Providence, provided a berth for two twins. That is a good thing, Anton Antonovitch, and that I am very far from freethinking. I look upon my benevolent government as a father; I say ‘yes,’ by all means; you are benevolent authorities, and you, of course... A young man must be in the service... Stand up for me, Anton Antonovitch, take my part, Anton Antonovitch... I am all right... Anton Antonovitch, for God’s sake, one little word more... Anton Antonovitch...”
But by now Anton Antonovitch was far away from Mr. Golyadkin... Our hero was so bewildered and overcome by all that had happened and all that he had heard that he did not know where he was standing, what he had heard, what he had done, what was being done to him, and what was going to be done to him.
With imploring