X. Stefan AarnioЧитать онлайн книгу.
means to lead out. This book is here to educate you on the subject of negotiation and draw out the natural-born negotiator hidden inside. You were born to negotiate; seize this skill and claim the life that you were born to live!
25
The History of Getting What We
Want and the Reptile Brain
Everything you want in life is out there in the world, either controlled or owned by someone else. In the Stone Age a tribe of cavemen would go to war with a neighboring tribe, kill them, and steal what they wanted—resources, land, and women. During the rule of the mighty Roman Empire, Romans would wage war with their neighboring tribes and take what they wanted through violence and plunder. In the modern world, it is no longer socially acceptable to kill, wage war, rob, and steal your way to prosperity. Instead we must negotiate to get what we want. In many ways, negotiating for resources or land is a more humane way for human beings to get what they want, and it is certainly less violent than war or plunder. However, negotiation between human beings has always, and will always be, a study of human nature. Human nature is an endlessly fascinating study, and ironically the things that make us human at our best can make us inhuman at our worst. Human nature can appear to be ugly or inhuman because lurking beneath the thin veil of sophistication, civilization, and benevolence lies the brain of a reptile.
A human brain is really not just one brain; it is three brains stacked on top of one another with the most primitive brain at the base and holding all of the decision-making power.
STEFAN AARNIO
26
The Thinking Brain—The Neocortex
The highest, most evolved, most advanced brain is the thin layer of grey matter at the top of the brain called the neocortex. The neocortex is the thinking brain and the part of the brain that we celebrate and worship with through art, music, poetry, science, and mathematics. The neocortex is the thinking brain that allows us to create, in the words of Plato, the true, the good, and the beautiful, and it also is the part of the brain that constructs lies and ingenious ways to hurt, kill, deceive, and cheat other people. The neocortex is the conscious part of the brain and ultimately the part of the brain that has separated human beings from every other animal on the planet. We are able to think ahead, form complex plans, access the spiritual realm, create and use tools, form large super-tribes, read, write, and build the atomic bomb. Man is the king of all animals because through the use of his neocortex he has been able to transcend the other beasts in the animal kingdom through creativity, planning, and thinking.
The Emotional Brain—The Mammalian Brain
Underneath the neocortex is the mammalian brain, which is less evolved than the neocortex. The mammalian brain is the midbrain, and it drives us to flock and freeze. After the dinosaurs were wiped out, mammals dominated the earth through their warm blood, which allowed them to survive the ice age and form tribes. The mammalian brain is responsible for sheep flocking together into a herd for protection or for hundreds of bison running in a panicked fashion over a cliff and plunging to their deaths. The mammalian brain is the part of the brain that makes humans want to fit in and be a part of a tribe. It’s the part of the brain that makes investors sell their stock at an all-time low when market is crashing and it’s the part of the brain that makes a home owner freeze and fail to take action when his home is being foreclosed on.
The Reptile Brain—The Decision-Making Brain
Underneath the mammalian brain is the brain of a reptile. The reptilian brain is the base of the human brain and it is only concerned with self-preservation and survival. The reptilian brain is the part of the brain that keeps you alive on a daily basis. It allows you to breathe, eat, sleep,
The History of Getting What We Want and the Reptile Brain
27
digest food, have sex, and perform basic bodily functions. If you form your hand into a fist and punch the air above you, your reptilian brain is allowing you to attack the air. If you form the same fist and try to punch yourself in the face, your reptilian brain is protecting you from an attack on yourself. The reptile brain is the most important of the three human brains because all decisions must pass through the reptile brain to be carried out by the body.
Since all human decisions and thoughts must pass through the reptile brain to be acted on by the body, man is always on some level, a reptile. He is self-preserving; he is looking out for his needs first. He wants to protect his resources and propagate his genes through the survival of his offspring. No matter what a man tells you his motivation and intentions are, no matter how benevolent or beautiful the ideas, the mission, or the purpose, the reptile brain is always lurking beneath the beauty. No matter what a man says is his motivation, ultimately his reptile brain is preserving him and his interests—not necessarily yours!
Does this mean that all men are bad? Not at all; there is beauty in humanity. There is love, compassion, art, science, altruism, spirituality, charity, generosity, creativity, and a myriad of other positive sides to humanity. However, for the purposes of this book, and for the purposes of you getting what you want, we must understand that beneath the beauty lies a beast. The beast is human nature and the reptile brain. When we peel back the thin veil of civilization, and the thin veneer of beauty, we will see the inhuman side of human nature.
“Talk is cheap, and money buys the whisky” is an old saying that differentiates between beautiful words and ugly actions. Any man can say beautiful things, but ultimately when we watch a man take action, we find out if his actions match his beautiful words. A man’s tongue will use his neocortex to paint beautiful lies in your mind, while his reptile brain will show you the ugly truth. This book is about acknowledging the beauty of humanity while trusting the reptile to be a reptile. In the words of Sigmund Freud, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.”
29
How to Read This Book
This book was written to be a study of human nature, and ultimately, the number one skill for handling human nature is negotiation. Every successful political leader, military leader, business leader, or tribal chieftain in history has been a student of human nature, and so are you! You want something, they want something, and your interests may or may not be aligned. You cannot bash their head in with a large rock and take what you want because the days of the caveman are over. In the modern world, we no longer resort to violence and muscle to get what we want. Instead we must grapple with human nature through the strength of our minds and negotiate to win what we want!
This book explores human nature through six parts:
Part I: Why We Must Study Negotiation and Why We Don’t Learn to Negotiate In School: They say that a man with a strong enough “why” can bear any “how.” Why is the study of negotiation mandatory for your success in the modern world? Also, why is the study of negotiation purposely not taught in public education?
Part II: The Ten Commandments of Negotiation: These ten commandments will serve as a base for successfully negotiating to win what you want in life and in business.
Part III: The Four Phases of Negotiation and the Art of Getting What You Want: This section will show you the proven system and method for navigating and handling any negotiation. All negotiations have the same four phases and escalate in the same way.