The Christmas Countess. Adrienne BassoЧитать онлайн книгу.
stand upright. Daniel moved close to grasp her elbow and steady her and she was grateful for the support. Her knees felt so weak.
“Rebecca?”
She shook her head. So many thoughts pounded through her mind that she could not seize upon any one, could not make sense of anything.
“The letter…I found a letter…here among Father’s papers. I don’t…please, just read it.”
Daniel took the letter from her trembling hand and began to read. Rebecca drew in a tight breath, her eyes fixed on her brother’s face. It seemed to take forever, but suddenly his expression changed dramatically and she knew he had reached the section about the baby. Her baby! With a sob, Rebecca closed her eyes, trying to slow her breathing, struggling to calm the accelerated beat of her heart.
“Bloody hell, Becca, this is a shock.”
Rebecca cleared her throat, searching his face for a glimmer of hope. “Then you believe it is the truth? The infant was given away?”
“Oh, sweetheart.”
The kindness and sympathy in Daniel’s voice was her undoing. The tears began to trickle down her cheeks and then the sobs overtook them.
Wordlessly, Daniel gathered her close. Rebecca leaned into his strength, pressing her face against his linen shirt. He smelled faintly of tobacco and starch and expensive, spicy cologne, an oddly comforting combination.
“If only I could spare you this additional pain,” he whispered.
“’Tis agony to learn of this betrayal…and yet…” Rebecca’s sobs lessened as the full impact of this discovery began to register in her mind. “I cannot comprehend why Mother and Father did this to me and frankly my head is spinning too fast to even consider forgiving them for their part in this cruel duplicity. Yet miraculously the initial hurt and bitterness I feel has not succeeded in overshadowing the joy in this news.”
“Joy?”
Rebecca smiled as the final tear ran down her cheek. “She is alive! My sweet little girl, the best part of me and Philip is alive!”
“And apparently the daughter of an earl,” Daniel interjected dryly.
It did not matter. Rebecca pushed that reality swiftly to the back of her mind. “I must find her. Oh, my darling baby. Well, not a baby really. She is six years old. Daniel, please, will you help me?”
He did not say anything at first. She had always suspected that her brother suffered pangs of guilt because he had not been here to support her during this tumultuous time in her life. They had been close as children, but the passing of time and the physical distance between them had taken its toll on their relationship.
Beyond a surface knowledge of his business and financial success, Rebecca realized she knew very little about the man her brother had become, knew almost nothing of his attitudes and opinions. As adults they were in essence strangers. Did he believe her parents had acted in her best interests? In the best interest of the child?
Would he refuse her request for help or even worse, order her to drop the matter entirely? The silence went on for so long that Rebecca began to fear hearing his answer.
“We have never spoken of your child, Rebecca.” Daniel’s voice was rough with contained emotion. “Father wrote to me, first to tell me about the child and later to say it had not survived. Both letters contained very little details. Will you tell me what happened?”
The request startled Rebecca, bringing forth a rush of emotions. The memories of her past were difficult to endure, wracked with pain, regret and sorrow. Yet if she wanted Daniel’s help, he deserved to hear the truth.
Fearing her legs would not hold her, she moved back, seating herself in her father’s desk chair. Daniel remained on his feet.
“We were very much in love, Philip and I. He was a wonderful man. Kind, intelligent, ambitious. Handsome. How I wish you could have known him. You would have liked him, Daniel, I am certain of it.”
Her brother smiled, but made no comment. Rebecca continued.
“I was over the moon when Philip asked me to be his wife and beyond delighted when Father gave us his blessing. Philip was just beginning his career as a barrister and his future success seemed assured. We became engaged and then rather reluctantly agreed with Father’s strong opinion that it would be best to wait until Philip became more established, more financially secure before he took on the burden of a wife.
“It was difficult waiting to be married. As much for me as for Philip, I believe. We missed each other dreadfully when we were apart and schemed constantly to have time alone together. We were clever, Philip and I, and succeeded more often than not. Yet beyond the love we shared, there was deep longing and passion between us and then one night, when we so boldly managed to be alone, things got…carried away.”
“Did he pressure you? Force you?”
Rebecca flinched. “Oh, no. It was nothing like that at all. We were mad for each other, equal in our delight of the…the physical expression of our love and commitment. I thought it was wondrous and blissful and beautiful.”
Her cheeks heated with embarrassment, but Rebecca did not regret her words. She wanted her brother to know the depth of love and devotion she and Philip had felt for each other.
“Unfortunately your bliss had consequences,” Daniel interjected.
“Yes.” Rebecca’s throat tightened as she remembered her disbelief when she realized she had fallen pregnant. Remembered too, the embarrassment she felt standing before her parents, feeling like a condemned prisoner confessing her crimes, telling them she was expecting a child.
“Philip had been offered a very promising position with a law firm in Salisbury and we all agreed he should take it. He left Taunton before I realized my predicament, so I was forced to explain to Mother and Father that our agreement to wait for the marriage needed to be altered. Our wedding had to take place far sooner than we had planned.”
“But there was no wedding,” Daniel said softly.
“No. There was an accident. The roof of the building that housed Philip’s offices collapsed in the middle of the afternoon. Most of the others were out that day, but Philip was working at his desk. They told me he was killed instantly.” She muffled a cry. “I was inconsolable, numb with grief. Losing Philip was a horror I could not comprehend and then there was the unborn child to consider.”
“Who decided you should go to Great-Aunt Mildred?” Daniel asked, arms crossed as he leaned against the desk.
“Mother, I think? Or perhaps it was Father? I honestly don’t remember who first broached the suggestion to me. As the weeks passed, ’twas obvious I could not remain here in Taunton in my condition. At the time, retreating to Cornwall and having Aunt Mildred care for me seemed a godsend.”
“It was the only sensible choice,” Daniel agreed.
“Was it? I trusted them; our parents and Aunt Mildred. Believed they would help me.” Rebecca blinked as the tears welled in her eyes. “Yet in the end they betrayed me.”
Daniel sighed. “It was cruel to tell you the child had perished. Still, were there any other choices? Forgive me, Becca, for asking, but what had you planned to do with this baby? Did you really believe you would be able to keep it, to raise it as your own?”
Rebecca shrugged helplessly. “I was in deep despair, Daniel, living day to day. I was incapable of thinking beyond the moment. We never openly discussed what would happen once the child arrived. I assumed the decision would be made soon after the baby was born. I also assumed I would be a part of that decision.” Her voice grew soft. “I broke the rules and knew I would pay dearly for my mistake. But I never expected to be betrayed by those I loved and trusted. Heavens, I was a fool.”
“We have all been foolish at one time or another.”
Rebecca