Candlelit Christmas Kisses: Captain Moorcroft's Christmas Bride / Governess Under the Mistletoe. Anne HerriesЧитать онлайн книгу.
was it about her? He felt it was important, but the pain had crowded out all his happier memories. The men who had suffered and died—the women who had been raped, beaten and murdered by rampaging soldiers, some of them English—had filled his mind. Especially Juanita, the lovely young woman he’d tried but failed to save.
‘I keep thinking I should remember Miss Searles,’ he said. ‘There is something at the back of my mind … an elusive memory. It’s stupid, I know, but I feel it’s important.’
‘You could hardly have known her before you joined the army, Robert. It is more than seven years … she would still have been in the schoolroom.’
‘How old is she, do you think?’
‘I believe she will be four and twenty next spring.’
‘No more than three and twenty?’ Robert was surprised. ‘She seems older. I would have said six and twenty at least.’
‘It is her black gowns and the way she pulls her hair back,’ Henry said. ‘Miss Millie told me that she is thirteen next week, Amy is nearly twenty, and Selina is three and twenty. I see no reason why she should lie. I find her sometimes tactless, but always truthful. She told me my face is a bit ugly, but she thinks I was handsome once and she likes me. If I like she will marry me when she is seventeen—especially if I bring her here to live.’
‘Good grief!’ Robert shouted with laughter. ‘The chit is certainly not lost for words.’
Henry smiled. ‘I find her honesty refreshing. She has no idea of causing offence or hurt, and none is taken, I assure you.’
‘You wouldn’t think of it—of marrying her in a few years’ time?’
‘Miss Millie … no,’ Henry said, but he looked self-conscious.
‘You’ve fallen for one of them. Is it Miss Searles?’ Robert narrowed his gaze. ‘No, it’s Miss Amy, isn’t it? Good Lord! You’ve only known her a day, Nor. You can’t be serious. You must be ten years her senior.’
‘Eleven, actually,’ Henry said, and smiled ruefully. ‘Ridiculous, isn’t it? One smile and that was it. I can’t believe it happened like that … out of the blue. I thought that kind of love was a myth, but it isn’t. I’m too old and too ugly for her. She was kind and made a point of looking at me without flinching, but I know she could never feel anything for me. However, I’m afraid that I’ve lost my heart. She’s the woman I want, Robert. Not that I shall allow her to see it. She is too far above me.’
‘Ridiculous! You are the best man I know—the staunchest friend, the kindest person I’ve ever met.’
‘For God’s sake,’ Henry said, revolted. ‘I can do without that rubbish, Robert. No, it is a lost cause. I know it. But I shall do all I can for her without making myself a nuisance.’
‘She might welcome an offer. You may not be the richest man in England, but you have no need to be my secretary.’
‘You would be lost without me—and I without you,’ Henry said simply. ‘Please forget I spoke. I should not have told you.’
‘Well, you must do as you think best, of course.’ Robert looked thoughtful. ‘It does happen, you know—love that strikes out of the blue. I remember once at a dance in Bath … No! It can’t be …’ He stopped and a look of pleasure came to his eyes. ‘Her name … yes, I’m certain it was Selina … but she looks so different …’
‘What are you saying?’ Henry asked, intrigued. ‘Have you remembered where you know Miss Searles from?’
‘Yes, I think I have.’ Robert grinned at him. ‘How could I have forgotten? It seems so long ago … like another lifetime. But of course I was a different man then.’
‘You actually knew her?’
‘Not exactly knew.’ Robert laughed and shook his head. ‘Do not ask, Nor, for I shall not tell you. I am only just beginning to remember—some of the details escape me. It was just before I left to join my regiment—and I was a little drunk that night. Actually, I was very drunk, but I remember this girl … she was so beautiful, like an angel …’
‘You are talking of Miss Searles? She is beautiful, of course, or she might be if she dressed differently—but an angel? That implies innocence?’
‘She must have been all of sixteen at the time. Too young to have been out, of course. I cannot imagine what her mama was about, taking her to a ball at that age.’
‘No doubt she kept a watchful eye on her?’
‘Perhaps. I cannot recall much of what happened, but …’ Robert smiled oddly. ‘No, do not question me with your eyes. I shall not reveal a lady’s indiscretion or my own. Good grief! Do you think she remembers?’
‘Perhaps. It depends on what you did or said that night, Robert—does she have cause to remember?’
‘To be honest, I can’t remember what I said to her, but I think I danced with her and then …’ He shook his head. ‘She must have forgotten. We only met once. Besides, I have changed so much—as has she.’ He frowned. ‘I wonder why she hasn’t married.’
‘I daresay she did not have the chance. Millie has told me their sad history. Her papa gambled their money away, and there was none for Selina or Amy to have a season, and then, when he was desperate, he killed himself. That sent their mother—who was always delicate—into a decline. The will allowed them to live in the house until she died, but then … Well, you know the rest.’
‘You’ve certainly been busy!’
‘Millie is very forthcoming—particularly when one talks to her as an equal. I think her sisters tend to treat her as a child, which she assures me she isn’t. I think I agree with her. Like Miss Searles, she has had grief and responsibility thrust upon her, and she has grown up faster than her years—which is sad, in a way.’
‘Yes, for all of them.’
‘Miss Amy seems the least affected. She does not show it in her manner—she has a joy in life that is hard to resist.’
‘You are smitten,’ Robert said dryly. ‘You should definitely propose, my dear Nor.’
‘We shall see how things progress. I would marry her rather than see harm come to any of them.’
‘How gallant,’ Robert drawled. ‘You were ever the gentleman. I fear I am a careless devil and shall not lose my heart so easily.’
‘What of the angel you met so briefly?’ Henry raised his brows.
‘She no longer exists. Somewhere along the way, she died, as did the dashing captain of her dreams. If she ever dreamed of me. I daresay she thought me an uncouth drunk who made free with her person … and breathe a word of that to another person and I’ll wring your neck.’
‘As if I would,’ Henry said, and smiled. ‘You know, Robert, I had wondered if you were lost to us for good—but I think there may just be a chance for you yet.’
‘Forget any foolish idea of romance, Nor. You may have fallen in love with Amy, but my heart is untouched. It died one hot Spanish night, and I do not think I can feel love—or any other decent emotion except guilt and regret.’
Robert stared at himself in the mirror as he dressed for dinner that evening. He had decided to take Miss Searles up on her invitation, for it seemed foolish to make the staff serve two separate meals when they might all dine together. And if he was a little curious to discover whether or not anything remained of the young woman he seemed to remember kissing in a moonlit garden, he would not admit it—to Nor or to himself.
No, it was simply a matter of practicality. Until his chef arrived, it would just make more work for her cook. Besides, he did not fancy dining alone with Henry in the great hall. They could, of course, eat in the library, but it would