Swept Away!: Accidentally Expecting! / Salzano's Captive Bride / Hawaiian Sunset, Dream Proposal. Lucy GordonЧитать онлайн книгу.
I feel I could tell you anything and it would be all right. I need never be afraid again.’ He added wistfully, ‘Could that ever really be true?’
‘I suppose it would depend how much you wanted it to be true,’ she ventured. ‘If you trusted me…’
‘I trust you as I’ve never trusted anyone in my life. If not you, then who?’
He took her hands in his, bending his head to kiss the palms.
‘You have such tiny, delicate hands,’ he whispered. ‘Yet they’re so strong, so welcoming. When they reach out, they seem to contain all the world.’
‘I would give you the world if I could,’ she said. It was a dangerous thing to say, but the words seemed to come out of their own accord. ‘If it were mine to give.’
‘Perhaps it is and you don’t know it.’ He stroked her face with tender fingers. ‘Sometimes I think I know more about you than you know about yourself. I know how loving and honest you are, how brave, how open-hearted.’
‘It’s an illusion,’ she said. ‘That’s a fantasy figure you’ve created.’
‘Why do you say that?’
‘Because nobody could be the way you see me.’
‘Why? Because I think you’re perfect?’
‘That proves it’s an illusion.’
‘No, it proves I’m a man of insight and good sense. Now, don’t argue with me. If I say you’re perfect, you’re perfect—and I do say it. I know you could never perform a deceitful or underhand action.’
His words, spoken so warmly and with such emotion, gave her a bad moment. The knowledge of her deception, however well-meaning, seemed to hang over them, poisoning the moment.
‘Dante—’
His finger lightly touched her mouth. ‘Don’t spoil it.’
Don’t spoil it. The words were like a bitter reproach.
But it wasn’t her fault, she thought wildly. She was protecting him, but that innocent desire had led her up this path, fraught with danger.
‘Let me say what I want to before I lose my nerve,’ he murmured.
‘I can’t see you ever losing your nerve.’
‘That’s an act. Inside I’m a coward. If you only knew how much of a coward, you’d run away. And that’s what you ought to do.’
‘Isn’t that for me to decide?’
‘How can you, when you don’t know the worst of me?’
‘Then tell me the worst. I’m braced for anything.’
‘You make a joke of it, but there are things…’
‘Yes?’ she said eagerly.
‘Ferne…’ She felt a tremor go through him. ‘Have I imagined what’s been happening to us?’
Now her heart was beating so hard that she couldn’t speak, only shake her head.
‘I know I said “just friendly”,’ he whispered. ‘But I say a lot of things that are nonsense. I guess you know that by now. When we talk—and I’ve never talked to anyone the way I talk to you—I always feel that you understand everything I’m not saying. With you, I don’t have to worry. I can be at peace.’
He made a wry face, aimed at himself. ‘I never thought the day would come when I saw peace as a virtue. I was always one for racketing around. Yes, you knew that, didn’t you?’ His soft laughter joined hers. ‘I don’t suppose there’s much about me you haven’t worked out: clown, idiot, self-deceiver, overgrown schoolboy.’
‘I could add a few others,’ she teased.
‘I’ll bet you could.’
‘Then how can you say I don’t know the worst of you? I probably think you’re worse than you are. Why don’t you put me right?’
‘Tell you what a hero I am? What a strong, solid, upright character who never cut corners or skirted around the truth in his life?’
‘No, I don’t think I could quite believe that.’ She was teasing him along the road, inviting him into the place where he would feel safe enough to tell her everything. When there was total honesty between them, the way would be clear for whatever lay in the future.
She wanted there to be a future. She could admit that now. She’d hidden her feelings, even from herself, behind a barrier of caution and sensible reasoning. But now Dante himself was demolishing that barrier. If she was only a little patient, there would be happiness soon.
‘It you presented yourself as a stuffed dummy full of virtue I think I’d just laugh,’ she admitted. ‘And then I’d send you on your way, because I’d have no use for you.’
‘For the stuffed-dummy part or the virtue?’ he asked lightly.
‘Guess.’
He smiled, but then his smile faded as emotion swept him.
‘Oh, Ferne, don’t change,’ he said desperately. ‘Promise me you’ll never change, and then maybe I can dig deep in myself and find a little courage. Only it’s going to take more than just a little. It’s going to take a lot to show you myself as I really am, stupid and pig-headed, blind to what matters.’
‘Stop,’ she said, putting her fingers lightly over his mouth. ‘Don’t run yourself down.’
He didn’t argue, just took hold of her fingers and moved his lips against them. His eyes were almost desperate. She stroked his face, willing him to take the last step that would join their hearts in the closeness that only honesty could bring.
‘Dante,’ she whispered. ‘Please—please.’
Suddenly he gripped her tightly, drawing her to him and burying his face against her.
‘Help me,’ he said huskily. ‘Help me.’
She held him eagerly, flooded with emotion that made it impossible to speak. His carefully constructed armour was cracking, revealing the vulnerability he’d striven so hard to hide, and she wanted only to enfold him, to offer him the help he’d finally sought. Now the moment had come, she was almost dizzy with joy and gratitude.
‘What’s this?’ he said, touching her face. ‘You’re crying.’
‘No, I’m not, not really. I’m just—’
‘Don’t cry.’ He was lightly brushing her tears away. ‘I didn’t mean to upset you.’
‘I’m not upset.’
He took her face between his hands, looking down at her tenderly before dropping his mouth to hers. She kissed him back eagerly, trying to tell him silently that she was his in any way he wanted. If only they could take the next step.
‘I’m so lucky to have you,’ he said. ‘If only…’
‘If only…?’ she echoed wistfully.
‘If only I were worth it. There’s so much I want to say to you, but not just now. My head’s in a muddle—as usual,’ he finished, turning it into a joke.
But she wouldn’t let him get away with that.
‘I don’t think this is your usual muddle,’ she persisted.
‘No, I’m getting worse. Be a little patient with me.’
‘All right,’ she said, trying not to sound sad.
‘Let’s go to bed,’ he said. ‘We’ve got a long drive tomorrow.’
She was stunned, hardly able to believe that the emotion of a moment ago had vanished to