Claimed By The Rancher. Jules BennettЧитать онлайн книгу.
his feet and hide his emotions. For a rancher and skilled surgeon, there was no other way to live.
But seeing Pepper Manning with a baby bump had knocked the air right out of him...as if seeing her after ten years wasn’t enough. She was still just as breathtaking as he remembered. Then again, their sizzling physical attraction and sexual compatibility had never been the issue.
No...those aspects of their relationship were beyond compare. He exhaled roughly, rubbing a hand across his stubbled jaw, as the memories assailed him. His fear of commitment at such a young age and the pregnancy and subsequent miscarriage were what had ultimately torn them apart. It had all been too much, too soon, and to say he hadn’t handled things well would be a vast understatement.
But he’d been afraid. That fear had spawned his actions and he’d been too prideful to admit it. Ultimately, he’d let everything go in an attempt to save himself. He’d never forgiven himself, but he sure as hell didn’t want to dredge up all of that now. He’d moved on, and it was obvious Pepper had, too.
Even so, having her so close yet being unable to reach out and touch her was difficult. She personified beauty, and she’d captured his heart once, so long ago...but he wasn’t sure that man existed anymore. The miscarriage had broken something inside him that had never fully healed.
Pepper was clearly stronger than she’d been years ago. Her beauty was just one of the things he’d loved about her. Her inner strength was definitely another. But seeing her now, ready to move forward with a child, only proved she’d handled the situation better than he had.
She had always wanted a family; he’d always wanted to be a surgeon. Dreams they hadn’t discussed because they’d been too caught up in the euphoric throes of young love. The type of love that naive couples felt could carry them through anything. Obviously that had turned out to be a bold-faced lie.
His eyes raked over her again from head to toe. How could she be just as stunning, just as vibrant, as ever? Her curves were still as alluring, her breasts fuller than before due to the pregnancy, and her long mahogany hair still hung like silk over her shoulders. His hands itched to feel those exquisitely soft strands gliding through his fingers.
Nolan cursed himself for allowing the past to rush up and assault him, but Pepper had always managed to wield control over him like no other woman before or since.
Now he couldn’t help but wonder if there was a husband or significant other in the picture. Not that it was any of his concern, but...was there? Despite everything, he found himself wanting to know everything that had transpired since she’d left. He had zero rights to her life, but that didn’t stop the intrigue from creeping in.
Pepper clasped her hands together just below her abdomen, the bangle bracelets jingling on her arms. She’d always had a thing for jewelry, he remembered fondly. Then her dark eyes suddenly held his as if she dared him to make a comment. Nolan hardened his jaw. He’d never backed down from a challenge before and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let the unbidden memories overpower him now. He’d come too far, had everything he ever wanted. Every bit of angst that settled between them was from a different time, a different life.
He’d literally given up everything to be where he was today. There was no looking back, no time to dwell on the regrets that always seemed to be just below the surface.
“Congratulations,” he said, offering her a tense smile.
For a fraction of a second, her eyes narrowed. But then she nodded. “Thank you.”
Those memories might be from another chapter in their lives, but they’d left so much unresolved. He’d gotten angry, broken things off, she’d left town...and that was pretty much the end of it.
Stubborn male pride had kept him from searching for her, and with his money he could’ve hired anyone and found her in record time. But he hadn’t. She’d left to get as far away from him as possible, and like a fool, he’d let her go.
They’d said some hurtful things after the miscarriage, things he continued to cringe over when he thought about them. But the damage had been done; they’d strayed too far from the blissfully in-love couple they’d once been.
Nolan didn’t see a ring on her finger, but that didn’t mean anything. Regardless of the fact he shouldn’t care, he wanted to know more. He was just getting reacquainted with an old friend...that was all, he reassured himself.
Though at one time they’d been so much more.
“Where are you living now?” he asked casually.
“Upstairs, actually. It’s a small apartment, but perfect for me, and it saves money.”
Perfect for me. That told him all he needed to know about a man in her life. There wasn’t one. Instant relief swept through him, which was hypocritical considering he was here to buy a gift for another woman.
Still, Pepper had a story and he wanted to know every detail.
No! No, he didn’t. He was here to get flowers for his date and that was all. Then he would head home and catch some sleep. After a traumatic night in the OR, he needed to regroup. Maybe he’d take his favorite stallion out later for a ride so he could unwind and think.
His dinner date would certainly revive him. Nolan had asked this particular nurse out months ago, but their schedules had just now lined up.
“How far along are—”
“This bouquet would be perfect.” She cut him off. Clearly, he was not welcome in her personal space. “There’s a few peonies, roses and lisianthuses.”
“I’ll take it. Go ahead and pick out another bouquet.”
Her dark brow quirked as she shot him a side glance. “For tomorrow’s date?”
He bit back an oath. This unexpected reunion needed to come to an end. No good could possibly come of it, no matter how irresistibly drawn he still was to this woman. Need he remind himself that he was the one who’d let her go? He’d thought at first that might have been a mistake, but over time, as he grew up, he’d realized it had been the right thing to do.
They had been ripped apart by grief and they wanted different things. He had no right to be carrying a torch for her after so long. Even if, in all honesty, seeing her pregnant hit him in a way he couldn’t quite explain.
“Actually, Colt’s fiancée’s birthday is in two days.”
Pepper’s features softened at the mention of his baby brother. “Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine.” He reached forward, taking a premade pink vase with blooms of all sizes and colors. “She’d love this one.”
Silence settled between them and Nolan couldn’t pull his gaze away from hers. They were practically strangers now, but he knew those eyes. They’d always been so expressive and now was no different. He’d never met anyone else with eyes such a mesmerizing shade of dark gray. Pepper was definitely one of a kind.
Weariness reflected back at him now, though, and he couldn’t help wondering what she was facing right now. She was alone, and that tidbit of information didn’t sit well with him.
There were too many parallels to the last time he’d seen her, so it was impossible not to be swept up in nostalgia and bittersweet memories.
Pepper was all woman now, however. There was a level of maturity, almost an underlying stubbornness, that hadn’t been there before. The defiant tilt of her chin, the rigid shoulders, as if she dared him to bring up the past. Fine by him. He was all for living in the here and now... He just hadn’t expected to do it with her back in Stone River.
“I honestly didn’t expect to see you this soon,” she muttered. “It’s harder than I thought.”
Nolan swallowed...that guilt he’d been so good at tamping down suddenly threatening to overcome him.
“If this is too difficult—”
“No.”