Distracted by her Virtue. Maggie CoxЧитать онлайн книгу.
her slim, elegant hands with their short unvarnished nails round her glass of lemonade, Sophia drew in a long breath, then softly released it. ‘They look like they’re having fun,’ she commented, her glance cautiously alighting on Jarrett.
‘Labradors and small boys were meant to be together,’ he agreed, silently owning to feeling more content at this moment, in this lovely woman’s company, than he could remember having felt in a long time. The revelation was an unexpected and tantalising gift that made the idea of wooing her even stronger.
Several guests had moved outside with their refreshments onto the patio, he noticed, and immediately the sight put him on his guard. Every now and then they glanced over at Jarrett and his companion, clearly speculating on their apparent closeness. He made a point of deliberately meeting their glances and staring right back.
‘It’s a shame that Beth and Paul haven’t got kids that can play with Dylan,’ he commented, seeking to divert Sophia from the realisation that his sister’s guests were paying them an inordinate amount of attention.
‘How long have your sister and her husband been married?’
‘About ten years, I think.’
‘Do they want to have children?’
‘They’ve said many times that if it happens it happens … but in the meantime they’ll concentrate on their careers and just enjoy each other’s company.’
‘Are they happy?’
Pausing, Jarrett gave the question proper consideration. He had straight away registered the apprehension, hope and even envy in the arresting emerald eyes that studied him so fervently, and he guessed the answer was important to her. ‘I think so.’ He shrugged, smiling, then added, ‘Although anyone can present an image of happiness, contentment and togetherness, can’t they? In truth, only the individuals concerned know if they’re happy or not.’
‘I agree. Unfortunately if they seem happier than you, then you can feel a bit of a failure.’
Intrigued, Jarrett leaned forward a little.
‘Have you ever asked yourself why happiness seems to come so easily to some and not to others?’ she pondered. ‘Do you think it’s got anything to do with deserving it?’
‘No. I don’t think it’s got anything to do with deserving it,’ he replied. ‘There are too many examples in the world to disprove that. Why? Has someone told you that it has?’
‘No. Maybe I just feel too guilty about the wrong turns I’ve made.’
‘It sounds to me as if you’re much too hard on yourself. Maybe if you could just dump all the guilt that weighs you down and try to be more optimistic things might get a little easier for you, Sophia? I know you can’t control everything that happens in life, but I must confess I’m a strong believer in creating your own luck … being captain of your own ship.’
‘Oh.’
‘Do you have other views on the matter?’
Working her even white teeth against her plump lower lip, Sophia lightly shook her head. ‘I do—but I think they might be somewhat prejudiced. I started out being very optimistic about life … convinced that I knew which road to take to make me happy. But although I remained optimistic and hopeful I made some very poor decisions that made me anything but. Let’s just leave it at that, shall we?’
‘We all make poor decisions and mistakes from time to time. It comes with the territory of being human. It doesn’t mean that you won’t ever make a good decision again and achieve some level of satisfaction and happiness.’
‘I’m sure you’re right.’
‘Going back to your original question about my sister and her husband—what’s your impression? Do you think that they’re happy?’
‘Well, I’ve only just met them, but if this extremely tidy garden is any indication I get the impression that they live a very ordered and potentially happy life together.’
‘Beth and Paul are both very practical people. I’d never call them dreamers, if that’s what you’re getting at.’
Hunching forward to rest his elbows on his knees, he examined the neat borders with new eyes, almost guiltily recalling Beth’s account of her several visits to a local garden centre for advice on creating the perfect lawn. The very concept had bemused him.
‘And, yes, they don’t appear to leave very much to chance,’ he agreed cautiously.
‘Dreamers or not, life has a way of subverting even the most carefully laid plans.’
Sophia gazed off into the distance, as if preoccupied by some disturbing recollection that still haunted her. Turning to observe her, Jarrett felt his insides submerged in a wave of sympathy.
A second later Charlie called out to her to watch him throw the ball, and her lovely face broke into an unguarded smile, the disturbing memory temporarily banished. ‘That’s wonderful, darling!’
‘You should learn to play cricket, Charlie,’ Jarrett called out. ‘You’re a natural bowler.’
‘Will you teach me, Mr Gaskill?’
‘I’d be delighted to … but only if you call me Jarrett.’
The small boy gifted him with a self-conscious grin. ‘Okay!’
‘That’s settled, then.’
‘You shouldn’t promise him things that you don’t have the time or the intention to follow through on,’ Sophia scolded him, her cheeks flushing pink. ‘He has a memory like an elephant. He forgets nothing … even the things I wish he would.’
It was the last part of her statement that perturbed Jarrett the most. Now wasn’t the time, but very soon he fully intended to ask her exactly what she meant by it. He also wanted to ask why she’d commented that she wasn’t sorry she was a widow. That discussion they’d just had about happiness was already taking on a significance that he wanted to explore.
Depositing his glass of wine on the small wrought-iron table in front of them, he suddenly pushed to his feet. ‘What makes you think I wouldn’t keep my promise?’ he asked, irked that she would doubt him.
‘He’s been let down by people breaking their promises to him before, and I don’t want him building up hopes only to have them dashed again.’
‘Not everyone breaks their promises. Maybe you need to learn to trust a little bit more?’
‘Trust you, you mean? I barely know you.’
‘That can be remedied.’
She lifted a slim, nonchalant shoulder to indicate her ambivalence, but Jarrett saw her lips duel unsuccessfully with her natural inclination to smile. Satisfied at the sight, he grinned, then hurried down the veranda steps, calling out to the boy on the lawn at the same time, ‘Throw me that ball, Charlie, and we’ll see how good you are at catching!’
Returning to the kitchen a while later to replenish their drinks, he found his sister standing at the sink, staring out of the window into the garden as she expertly rinsed some used glasses.
‘I’ve been watching you playing with Charlie. You looked like you were really enjoying yourself,’ she remarked.
‘Why so surprised? I do have the ability to enjoy myself, you know.’
‘It’s just that you looked quite bored until Sophia arrived … then you lit up.’ Beth turned to give him an affectionate smile. ‘I’m pleased that you seem to enjoy their company so much.’
‘I don’t deny it. She intrigues me, and Charlie is a great little boy.’
Walking forward to rinse the empty glasses he’d brought with him, Jarrett wasn’t surprised when Beth