Clandestine Christmas. Elle JamesЧитать онлайн книгу.
into a cold sweat and struggling against the desire to run right out the front door and all the way back to Texas.
She thought she was ready to face the world. But she really wasn’t. Sure she could fire expert, shoot a perp and perform physical training all day long, but being around a child was beyond her endurance.
At the top of the staircase, Chase made a left turn and hurried down the hallway to the second door on the right. He pushed the door open and peered into the shadowy interior. “Jake?” he whispered softly. “Are you asleep?”
Chase let go of her hand and opened the door wider, allowing a beam of light to cross the bedroom floor to the full-size bed in the middle.
“No, I’m awake,” a small voice called out. “I was waiting for you and Grandma.”
“You gotta stop doing that. Young bodies need sleep to help them grow.” Chase entered the room and settled on the side of the bed. He brushed his hand across the boy’s forehead, pushing back a swath of dark brown hair, almost the same color as Kate’s.
Kate fingered the long ponytail over her shoulder, her heart gripped in her chest. She didn’t want to move into the room, afraid the walls might close in around her.
Barkley the Saint Bernard pushed past her and sprawled on the floor at the end of the bed.
“Where’s Grandma?” Jake leaned up on his elbow and stared straight at Kate. “Who are you?”
Ignoring his first question, Chase answered the second. He held out his hand to Kate, an invitation to step into the room. Somehow, she managed to move one foot in front of the other until she stood beside the bed and glanced down at a little boy with green eyes, who looked entirely too small to sleep in such a big bed by himself. “Hi,” she said.
Chase clasped her hand and drew her closer. “This is Kate Rivers. She’s coming to stay with us for a little while.”
Jake smiled and settled back against the pillow, a huge yawn splitting his little face. “Are you staying for Christmas?” he asked, his eyelids drifting closed.
Kate shook her head, but the boy didn’t see her through his closed eyes. She shifted her gaze to Chase, trying not to stare at Jake, his little body buried beneath the sheets and a thick goose down quilt.
Despite being a tomboy from the moment she could strut around in her own cowboy boots, Kate had pictured herself with a big family of her own, she’d wanted half a dozen boys for her dad who’d gotten stuck with three froufrou girls and a tomboy.
The day the meth lab sting went down, she’d lost not only her partner, but she’d been shot in the gut, the bullet damaging both her uterus and ovaries. Having been a Texas Ranger from the time she’d graduated college with a degree in criminology, she’d hardly slowed down long enough to consider what she wanted next in life. In the back of her mind, she’d always known she eventually wanted kids.
After her last botched mission with the Texas Rangers, Kate’s injuries had cut off any chances of her ever having children. Those kids she’d pictured having would never be.
“Miss Kate will be here through Christmas,” Chase assured the boy. He let go of Kate’s hand, pulling her back to the present, and brushed the hair out of Jake’s face once more, then stood.
Jake’s eyes opened. “Grandma always kisses me good-night. Where is she?”
“She had to stay in town for a few nights.” Chase leaned over the child and pressed his lips to the boy’s forehead. “There, that will have to do for now.”
He blinked his eyes open again, his gaze shifting from Chase to Kate. “Can’t Miss Kate kiss me, too?”
Chase turned to Kate, his brows raised. “It’s totally up to Miss Kate.”
Kate took a step backward, ready to make a run for the door.
Jake captured Kate’s gaze with his own green-eyed one. “Please.”
Frozen to the spot, she couldn’t leave. Not with that trusting gaze gluing her to the floor. She wanted to run, but couldn’t. Her feet carried her forward to the bed, where she leaned over the little boy.
He closed his eyes, a smile curling his sweet lips.
Her pulse pounding in her ears, Kate had to follow through. She brushed his forehead lightly with her lips.
“You’re pretty, Miss Kate,” Jake said on a sigh.
Kate straightened, the warmth of the little boy’s skin seemingly imprinted on her lips. How could one little boy have so much impact on her?
She opened her mouth to tell Jake good-night, but a lump the size of her fist lodged in her throat and her eyes blurred.
Chase shot a glance her way.
Kate turned, hoping he didn’t see her moment of weakness.
“Good night, little buddy.” Chase tousled the child’s hair and reached over to switch off the lamp on the nightstand.
Glad for the darkness, Kate gulped to force the lump back down her throat. She nearly stepped on a teddy bear lying on the floor. With a sob rising up in her chest, she bent, retrieved the bear, crushed it to her chest and ran for the door.
What was wrong with her? She hadn’t cried when she’d bent over her partner’s inert body, performing CPR while she bled from her own wounds. Nor had she cried when the doctor entered her hospital room after they’d performed surgery on her, only to tell her Mac had died on the operating table in the room next to her, despite all his efforts. She hadn’t cried when the doctor told her she’d never have children.
In the shadowy room, her eyes swimming in unshed tears, she didn’t see Chase until she crashed into the solid wall of muscles.
His arms came up around her and he steadied her. Glancing over her shoulder at the boy, he hooked an arm around her waist and guided her through the door.
Barkley lumbered to his feet and started to follow them out of the boy’s room.
“Stay,” Chase said, his voice gentle, but firm.
The dog dropped to his belly on a rug, laying his chin between his two front paws.
Chase closed the door halfway. Without saying a word, he led Kate down the staircase, grabbed their jackets and ushered her out the back door onto a wide, wooden porch.
Outside, she broke free of his grasp and walked to the steps leading down, wondering if she could make it to her truck without being stopped.
“What’s wrong?” Chase asked, his voice so close, he had to be standing behind her.
She shook her head and brushed a hand across her eyes, realizing she still held the worn teddy bear in her other hand. Swallowing hard, she pushed the lump in her throat back and half turned, shoving the toy toward Chase. “Could you take this to Jake? He might be missing it.” Her voice sounded gravelly to her own ears. She hated that she was showing emotion when she was sent to be a bodyguard, not a basket case. Kate should have known it was too soon after all that had happened.
“He was half-asleep before we left the room. I’ll take it to him later.” Chase reached for her empty hand and held it. “Do you want to talk about what happened in there?”
“No.” Kate turned her back to him, staring out into the darkness. “Look, Mr. Marsden—”
“Call me Chase.”
“Chase,” she said. “I can’t work for you.”
“Why?”
Kate shook her head. “I’m not the right person for this job.” Hank had assured her she was ready, and that she could handle the assignment. He’d been wrong. Had he told her a child would be involved...then what? Kate wouldn’t have thought she’d react so strongly to Jake’s request for a kiss. But it hit her like a punch to the chest.
Kate