Scandalous: Scandalized!. Lori FosterЧитать онлайн книгу.
as tough as Olivia. It was one of the reasons he’d chosen her, one of the many things he admired about her.
He propped his elbows on his knees, leaned forward and forged on. “I want a child now because both my younger brother and sister have children. In fact, my brother only recently got his third child, a little boy, and it made me realize how much I was missing out on, how much I’ll miss forever if I don’t act soon. Don’t get me wrong. I love being the doting uncle, getting to spoil the children and having them shout and jump around whenever I show up. It’s good for the soul to be loved by a child, probably the biggest compliment a person can ever receive.
“But I have no real influence on the kids. And that’s as it should be. I’m not their father, I’m only an uncle, good for bringing gifts and giving occasional unimportant advice. I want to be the one doing the raising, leaving a part of myself behind.”
Olivia smiled. “You’re feeling your mortality?”
“I suppose. But that’s not all of it. Being business minded, forming a successful company and being respected by your colleagues, that’s nothing compared to raising a child. My brother and sister chose not to get too involved in the business, but they’re raising wonderful, loving, beautiful children. And that’s a much greater accomplishment than mine. I want to do something that matters that much.” He faced her, holding her gaze, then added, “And I want to be loved the way they are. Unconditionally, completely.”
“But no wife?”
“The kind of relationship my brother and sister have with their spouses doesn’t come easy, I’m finding.” He was so relieved she hadn’t mocked him that he smiled. It was proving much easier to talk to Olivia than he had thought. Without thinking about it, he’d bared his heart as he had never done with any other person. “It’s almost like they’re one with the other. They share everything, support each other, and they have fun together. Honest, guilt-free fun. They seem to know each other’s thoughts sometimes, they’re so in tune.
“It amazes me. At times, I’m even jealous. I think it would be unbelievable to have that kind of relationship, and after seeing it, I don’t think I could settle for anything less. But I haven’t found a woman who would suit, and to tell you the truth, I’m sick of looking. Most women can’t tolerate the amount of time I dedicate to the business, unless they’re businesswomen also. But then, most of them are so wrapped up in company policies, in proving themselves in the male-dominant corporate world, they don’t have time for me, much less a child.”
He saw her flinch, and realized she’d taken the criticism personally. “Olivia. I don’t mean to condemn. I realize it’s more difficult for women than men, that the same rules seldom apply. And I understand the need to get ahead. I was the same way until recently.”
“Until your business no longer required quite so much attention.”
“That’s right.” He wouldn’t apologize for accomplishing his goals. He’d earned his time off. “You know, there’s a downside to being successful. I always get the feeling women are sizing up my bank account instead of me.”
Olivia gawked. “Don’t you have any idea how attractive you are? How personable you are?” She waved a hand in the air. “How…sensual you are? Believe me, with or without your hotel chain, you’d have women chasing after you.”
Settling back in his chair, he whispered, “Not you.”
Olivia looked as if she wanted to bite off her tongue, but no way would Tony let her take the words back, nor would he fill the silence for her. He suddenly felt predatory, and she was his prey. He could feel the surge of energy her words had given him, supplying an interest he hadn’t felt in too long. It was invigorating, though he did his best to ignore the feelings and concentrate on his goals. Her compliments weren’t necessary to his plan—but they did fill him with male satisfaction.
He waited, his expectation extreme, to see what she would say next.
Her gaze never wavered. “Well, no. As I said, I have other goals in mind besides chasing down a man, regardless of his appeal.”
Tony narrowed his eyes, watching her squirm as he pondered her words, then he smiled. “That’s one of the reasons I chose you. Not once have you ever looked at me in a sexual way.”
Olivia blinked again. “I don’t think…”
“You know what I mean. I don’t have to worry about you accepting my proposition with ulterior motives of trapping me, because you don’t particularly want me.” He waited, then asked, “Right?”
“Ah…right.”
“But you are perfect to suit me. As I said, I admire your intelligence. With the two of us as parents, I know my son or daughter won’t be lacking in that regard. You’re also possessed of a great deal of savvy, something else to admire. You’re healthy as a horse. I checked back as far as the last two years, and you haven’t missed a single day of work. You have a kind and generous nature—everyone who knows you said so. And you’re suitably built.”
“Suitably built?”
She sounded as though she were strangling, and his gaze dropped to her legs. “Attractively built,” he explained, allowing his gaze to linger for a moment. “Your legs are shapely, your shoulders squared, your back straight. You’re large boned, not overly frail, but still very feminine. You’re not prone to excess weight, but you are…sturdy. If I had a daughter, I wouldn’t have to worry about her being too tiny, something I abhor in women. But she would make a very nice appearance. You always do.”
Without his mind’s permission, his gaze moved to her breasts, outlined so nicely by the black knit dress she wore. Tony heard her say, “I’m small busted.”
He managed a shrug when at the moment he felt far from indifferent, then had to force himself to look up at her face. Her look was challenging, and he grinned at her small show of vanity. “Not at all. You’re…fine. Besides, if I have a son, it certainly won’t matter, and if I have a daughter, I won’t have to worry about all the young men chasing after her before I’m prepared to deal with it.”
She gave an uncertain smile at his wit, then looked away, as if considering all he’d said. He felt his stomach cramping in anxiety. And something more. It was so damn ridiculous, but the more he talked with her, the more he liked her. She hadn’t reacted as most women would have, she hadn’t reeled in shock or shouted in dismay. She hadn’t looked particularly insulted, either. She did look a bit disoriented, though. And somewhat contemplative.
He didn’t want to, but he said, “Why don’t you think about it? Take the weekend, and get back to me on Monday. If you agree, we can contact the doctor I’ve spoken with and have everything taken care of well before my birthday.”
She winced. “A clinical procedure, you said?”
“Yes.” He hastened to reassure her. “But from what I understand, it’s not bad. I deliver my sperm—”
One slim eyebrow quirked. “Deliver your sperm?”
“Yes.” He knew his face was heating and felt like a fool.
“How exactly is that accomplished?”
“Never mind.” The order was ground out from between his teeth, and she chuckled. He’d never before seen her sense of humor; usually it was her determination to get ahead that she presented at a business meeting. He felt a touch of warmth at the sound of her laughter, then gave her an exasperated look and continued. “I deliver my sperm and they…well, I suppose it’s much like visiting your gynecologist. Only instead of doing whatever it is they usually do, my sperm will be artificially planted—inseminated, it’s called—and then we’ll wait to see if it takes.”
Olivia chewed her lips, then said slowly, “It sounds rather distasteful.”
“I’ll admit it isn’t quite the way nature intended a woman to be impregnated, but it is certainly less personal, which is the main