Love Islands…The Collection. Jane PorterЧитать онлайн книгу.

      Not fooled by his light conversational tone, Lily didn’t react. She stood there watching him warily, determined not to let him see that his comment had slipped under her defences.

      ‘What about what she wants?’

      She angled an uneasy look up at his lean face. ‘What do you mean?’

      ‘A child shouldn’t grow up feeling unloved or unwanted.’

      ‘She isn’t!’ Lily shot back, furious at the suggestion.

      ‘You were happy to let her think her father doesn’t love or want her. Did you pause when you were making your unilateral decision to think how she might feel a few years down the line thinking that her father had rejected her? How that might affect her emotional development, her future relationships? You’re willing to deprive her of what you had...what you took for granted... Well, I’m not.’

      The statement had more impact because Ben clearly wasn’t canvassing for the sympathy vote; he was simply stating a fact. Despite this, or maybe because of it, Lily felt her own tender heart soften. A child herself at the time, it had never occurred to her to wonder why Ben had come to live with his grandfather. That he had been unwanted had not even crossed her mind.

      ‘I’m going to make damned sure that my daughter isn’t going to grow up thinking she’s to blame. She’ll have what every kid deserves. What I—’

      Didn’t have, Lily completed silently as he paused for breath. She trawled her memory trying to think of a single occasion when she had seen Ben’s parents at Warren Court after Ben had moved in. She came up blank.

      ‘I’m sorry that you were an unhappy child, but—’

      He pinned her with a cold blue stare. ‘This isn’t about me. It’s about what is best for our child. You may feel it’s some sort of badge of honour to struggle financially but—’

      ‘I don’t!’ she protested, smothering a dangerous wave of empathy along with the image of a sad, lonely little boy. Ben was not a little boy any more; he was a powerful man. A very angry, powerful man. And he was angry at her. ‘You never wanted children...’

      ‘And you wanted to put your career on hold just as it was taking off?’

      ‘That’s not the point!’

      His brows lifted as his lips tugged into a triumphant smile. ‘Exactly. Even if I was the total rat you think I am, even if I had been given the option and chose not to be part of her life, I have a financial obligation at least.’

      ‘This isn’t about money!’

      ‘No, it’s about a hell of a lot more,’ he growled. ‘More than your selfish pride. So save me the poor and proud of it speech. My daughter is going to have all the advantages I can give her, so get used to it.’

      ‘You think you can just appear out of nowhere and take control?’ She managed to project scorn, but below the surface there was a strong steady pulse of fear feeding into her bloodstream.

      He shrugged and gave a wolfish grin that left his blue eyes hard and cold. ‘Now you come to mention it, yes.’

      Despite the sun beating down she shivered, suddenly icily cold. She recalled a recent article in which a rival had called Ben Warrender a ‘wolf in designer clothes, who wouldn’t even get a crease in his suit while he casually destroyed your life for profit’.

      Even allowing for a certain degree of bias, there was no doubt that in the business world Ben was a predator. And not the sort of person who was accustomed to hearing people say no in his personal life either.

      ‘You’ve had a shock,’ she said, attempting to sound placatory. ‘You won’t mean any of this when you calm down—’

      ‘I know I’ve had a bloody shock! I don’t need you to tell me!’ His eyes narrowed as he added with bitter emphasis, ‘Except you didn’t, did you?’

      ‘I want nothing from you,’ she babbled, close to blind panic now. ‘We need nothing from you. What was the point in telling you? There was nothing to discuss then or now.’

      Ben’s jaw clenched. ‘Did you hear nothing I just said?’

      Her eyes flashed as she felt a sudden energising spurt of anger. He was acting as though it had been an easy choice, acting as if the thought of bringing up a child alone had not terrified her!

      ‘Yes, and the only thing you’re right about is that this is about Emmy and what is best for her. And a father who doesn’t want her isn’t.’ She’d reminded herself of this inescapable fact every time she’d found herself retreating into a fantasy happy-ever-after world where Ben would see his baby and be smitten; he would fall in love with her. Miracles happened—they’d made a baby and that was the greatest miracle of all.

      ‘It is not a question of wanting. It has happened.’

      Lily found the awful grim tone of acceptance in his voice was a million times worse than his anger. ‘I didn’t do it on my own!’ she quivered back.

      He reacted defensively to the guilt that felt like a stomach punch. ‘I took precautions!’

      ‘Well, they didn’t work!’

      Something in her expression made him pause. He’d been so caught up with his own feelings...for the first time he found himself wondering how an unplanned pregnancy had made her feel. Had she been scared...angry...? Had she hated him?

      Was keeping him in the dark her way of punishing him?

      Why the hell was he feeling guilty? Maybe being irrational was contagious...

      ‘Well, you’ve got me there.’ His drawled response drew a wary look of suspicion from her gold-shot green eyes.

      ‘I don’t want to have you...’

      He raised a sardonic brow.

      ‘Anywhere?’ She closed her eyes and thought, Shut up, Lily. ‘I need to get indoors.’ Half turning, she dropped her voice to an indistinctive mumble. ‘The sun... I burn.’ Her eyes lifted and connected with his. The searing heat from his blue stare was several thousand degrees more scorching than the morning sun beating down on her bare shoulders.

      ‘You think I’ll be an awful father.’ He hid his very real fear that this was the case under a casual shrug. ‘Maybe you’re right, but the fact is we’re going to find out.’

      ‘But you don’t want—’

      Roughened with impatience, his deep voice drowned out the rest of her protest. ‘Don’t tell me what I want and don’t make this a fight, Lily, because you’ll lose. Save the mutual recriminations. The situation exists so let’s deal with it and move on.’

      Where? ‘I can’t!’ she yelled wildly and began to run along the beach, the tears streaming down her face.

      By the time she reached the bungalow Lily was out of breath. Chest heaving, she sat down on the bottom step covered by the shade of the canopy and waited.

      There was nowhere