Smooth-Talking Cowboy. Maisey YatesЧитать онлайн книгу.
There was nothing to be scared of when it came to marriage as far as she was concerned. Her parents had a wonderful marriage. She aspired to that. To that good life that they led.
To being that kind of person.
Scary was the unknown. Scary was having your future tossed high up into the air. It was having no plan. Being aimless. It was how Vanessa lived her entire life, as far as Olivia could see. Her twin sister, the person she had been closest to from birth, was a virtual stranger now.
Her partying, her drug use, had taken everything from them that they used to share. Even their looks. Nobody would think they were sisters now, much less identical twins.
Her sister was so thin. Wasted down to nothing, her skin ravaged, her eyes dull, her hair lank.
That was where aimlessness got you. It was where living for the moment got you. And Olivia had never been that person. No, plans didn’t scare her. Permanence didn’t scare her. It was all those other things in between.
“Well,” Lindy said, “men get gun-shy when commitment is on the table.”
“I’m not scared of getting married. Or having a relationship.”
“But apparently you’re scared of having an honest conversation with the man that you claim you’re ready to marry?”
Olivia placed her hand on her chest, where it felt like Lindy’s words had literally stuck into her like a sword. “I just... I have some pride. I’m not going to beg him. I need him to try and get a better understanding of his feelings. Through... Seeing what his life might be like without me. I want him to understand that he needs me by saying that maybe I don’t need him.”
“But don’t you need him?”
Olivia frowned. “Yes. But I have to have some pride.”
“Okay. So, your version of having pride is trying to trick the man that you say you’re in love with, by pretending to date a different man, so that he’ll feel bad and ask you to marry him?”
Olivia did not like this line of conversation at all. Because when Lindy said it like that, it just sounded sad. And it didn’t sound at all like it did when she thought about it. When it came from inside of her it all seemed logical. Repeated back at her it sounded manipulative and that wasn’t what she felt.
“I’m just saying,” Lindy said. “At a certain point in your relationship you’re going to have been together for a long time. That’s what marriage is. It’s forever. It’s supposed to be. And you’re going to reach a point there where you realize you didn’t practice telling each other the truth. You didn’t practice sharing what was in your heart, what you were feeling, what you had for breakfast. And you’re going to realize that you live with a stranger. And so does he.”
“I don’t think you can compare what happened with you and Damien to me and Bennett,” Olivia said. “And I don’t think it’s fair for you to try and take blame for anything. For you to say that he didn’t know you as if somehow you could have told him what kind of cereal you had that day and he wouldn’t have cheated on you.”
“That’s the thing,” Lindy said. “He did the wrong thing. And he took us to a place where for me... We couldn’t come back from it. But he didn’t take us there by himself. He didn’t get started on the road on his own. As much as it pains me to say it, our divorce isn’t only his fault.”
“I don’t understand how that could be. You do the right thing, and you keep going forward on the right path, and things like that don’t happen. He’s the one that strayed.”
“Yes,” Lindy said. “He did. But why? It’s the answer to that question that sits uncomfortably with me. Just... As I told you, I’m not an expert. I’m thirty-four years old and divorced with absolutely no prospects on the horizon. But I was married for ten years and I do know a little something about that. And about all the things that can go wrong. So just... Consider having a conversation with him? You don’t have to cry or make a fool out of yourself. But... It might not be the worst idea.”
Olivia frowned. “I don’t know what I would say to him.” To tell him that she was unhappy because she couldn’t see where her life was going anymore? To tell him that she loved him and was miserable without him? That settled uncomfortably in her chest, too. Because it felt... Wrong. Like it might not even be true.
“I don’t know,” Lindy said. “Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about with you and Bennett.”
“It’s not like I didn’t tell him,” Olivia said. “I told him I wanted to marry him. And he said he didn’t want to do that yet. I haven’t been lying to him. I told him exactly what I wanted. I just want him to make a decision. A final decision. I’m the one that broke up with him. And I feel like he’s the one who has to either close the door on it forever or come back. I would prefer that he came back.”
Lindy sighed heavily. “I get that. I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I accused you of not asking for what you wanted. I know that you did. And you know... My marriage didn’t work. So, you probably really shouldn’t listen to me because I’m bitter and cynical, and I feel like I don’t much believe in the power of love right now. So go on, make him jealous. I hope that he sees you with Luke and is overcome by the desire to pick you up and carry you back to his bed.”
Olivia shifted uncomfortably. “I’d settle for an engagement ring.”
A subtle crease appeared between Lindy’s brows. “Right. Good luck tonight.”
Olivia forced a smile. “Thank you.” She had a feeling she was going to need to find a rabbit holding a four-leaf clover between its toes before she had the proper amount of luck she would need tonight, but she was just going to stick with a simple thank you.
A group of three women walked in after that, and Olivia was saved from her thoughts. She hoped that she could find a way to stay busy enough to avoid thinking for the rest of the afternoon. But she had a feeling that was a tad optimistic.
Still, considering that tonight she had a date with Luke Hollister, optimism was necessary.
LUKE WASN’T SURE what to expect when he went to pick Olivia up that evening after work. He had spent a good portion of the day imagining what Olivia Logan considered to be make-your-ex-jealous clothes.
He was slightly disappointed by the answer to the question.
It was a floral dress and a pair of leggings, accompanied by a tall pair of boots. Fair enough, he supposed, since it was cold as hell frozen over out there. But as far as he was concerned a little bit of skin wouldn’t have gone amiss. Of course, he had never actually seen Olivia showing any skin, and he imagined it had been a little optimistic to expect she would start now.
Not that he needed her to expose any skin for him.
But he was a man, same as any other. Which meant that whatever type of creature he found sexually appealing he enjoyed seeing more of when at all possible.
He put the truck in Park and got out as Olivia whipped down the front steps of her little cottage, her brown hair a tangle around her face, her skirt blowing up around the top of her legging-clad thighs. All right, even though her legs were covered by that textured, gray wool, he could see the shape of them, and he definitely liked what he saw.
“You didn’t have to get out of the truck,” she said, clutching her purse and a cranberry-colored sweater to her chest, tucking a strand of dark hair behind her ear as the wind blew around them, sharp like a knife’s edge.
“Sure I did, ma’am,” he said, sweeping his black hat off his head and treating her to his most charming smile. “We are on a date, after all, and a gentleman always comes to the door to pick up his date, same as he walks to the door to drop her off.”
“But this