High Country Rebel. Lindsay McKennaЧитать онлайн книгу.
emotions that were eating away at him right now. If he could just bury himself into her soft, wet confines, the world would go away for a while. Sex was the greatest mindblower of them all. It stopped him from thinking. His feelings were channeled into pleasuring the woman, pleasuring himself and the powerful emotions of lust that would ripple through his body. It would erase all the grief. The terror. The anxiety. Everything. It was the most powerful medication in the world. Oh, God, he ached to take Cat, make her his woman, make her his.
Reason started creeping back into Talon’s brain. Cat must have had a significant other or she was married. That made his heart cringe with renewed grief. He’d never met a woman like her. She was a healer. She could heal him, he just knew it. Sensed it to the black depths of his fractured soul. Now he had to release her. He didn’t dare kiss her. Because if he ever touched that mouth of hers, he would be lost. And he’d want her like he’d never wanted anything so badly in his life.
Talon had to let Cat go. Finally, he eased his arms from around her and lifted his head from her shoulder. As he looked up into her eyes, his heart crashed. He wanted to cry. Her eyes burned with love and care for him. Just for him. And her mouth, damn, her lips were parted and tears streamed down her cheeks, nestling into the corners of her mouth. She was crying for his sorry-assed soul.
Shaken, Talon stared at her in the thickening silence. No one had cried for him before, except his mother when he was a young child. And Cat was crying for him, for the coming loss of his mother, who meant the world to him. He’d already lost his father. Then he’d lost Hayden. Now...oh, God, now his mother was leaving him, too.
The loneliness gutted him wide-open. The emotional rawness was tempered only by Cat’s arms still loosely placed around his shoulders as she stared without apology for the tears in her eyes. He made a sound in his throat, lifted his hands and used his thumbs to remove her tears.
“Don’t cry for me,” he growled. He wasn’t worthy of her tears. His life was a train wreck. He didn’t deserve this kind of care....
Closing her eyes, Cat felt his callused thumbs brush the tears from her cheeks. Her throat tightened, the lump growing. She wanted to burst out into sobs for him, for what she felt around him that he’d never released. She lifted her lashes as his hands fell away from her face. How she missed his touch! Sniffing, Cat eased her arms from around his shoulders. With trembling fingers, she wiped the tears from her lashes.
“It’s okay to cry, Talon,” she whispered, her voice unsteady. “It’s good for the soul.” Seeing the look in his stormy eyes, Cat knew he wasn’t accepting her whispered words at all. “Think of crying as a way to discharge the infection, the toxins, the awful emotions you’re carrying around inside of you, cleaning you out. That’s a good thing.” Cat reached out, trailing her fingers tenderly across his cheek.
Talon placed a steel hold on himself. Never mind he had an erection pressing painfully against his jeans. Never mind what he saw in Cat’s half-closed, drowsy blue eyes as she’d grazed his cheek. One part of him said she’d touched his cheek out of compassion. Care. The other part, the dark, male part of him, the sexual hunter who wanted her, read her touch as a way to let him know she wanted him.
Talon felt like a mess. He was still sicker than a dog, still had a fever, wasn’t breathing all that well and he’d just talked to his dying mother. No way in hell could he sort out Cat’s response to him. And he cared enough about her not to try. Cat sat there looking so innocent, the compassion clear in her gaze. Getting a grip on himself, Talon forced himself to put his hands on his thighs, not on her.
“Your mom is a fighter, Talon,” Cat said, her voice raspy. “I came to Jackson Hole seven years ago and met her right after she’d gotten cancer the first time. I’d met her at Mo’s Ice Cream Parlor where she worked as a waitress. We became really good friends and when I saw her looking bad one day, I asked her what was wrong.” Cat stared down at her clasped hands in her lap. “I told her I’d be there for her and I have been ever since. Your mom loves books, and when the chemo really got her down and she was too weak to work, I’d go over on my lunch hour when I had the shift at the fire department, and read to her. She loves her books so much.” Cat managed a small smile, holding his flat, dark look. “Maybe...if things work out, you might support her by going over to read to her every once in a while. I know she’d love that. She loves you so much.”
Talon hung his head, grappling with the knowledge. “Yeah,” he rasped, “I know she does. She used to read to me as a kid. I always looked forward to her coming into my bedroom every night and she’d read a chapter from a book.” The memory was sweet. Filled with love. Talon had always looked forward to that special time with his mother.
“Sandy told me,” Cat admitted softly. “Over the years, she brought out all her photo albums.” She gave him a tender look. “I guess you might say I got to know you from the time you born. Sandy is so proud of you, Talon. I knew you were in the Navy, went into the SEALs and she really didn’t have much in the photo album from recent times except for the few pictures you sent back to her when you were in Afghanistan.”
Wincing internally, Talon remembered those photos he’d sent her. They were all of Hayden and him or Zeke. His mother loved animals and he could email her about Zeke. He could never tell her about his missions or anything that had happened on them, but she loved his stories about Zeke. His heart clenched with renewed grief. Cat had seen photos of him and Hayden together, their arms across one another’s shoulders, their M-4 rifles propped on their hips, grinning like fools into the camera after a twelve-hour patrol. He dragged in a shallow breath, the pneumonia still not allowing him to take a deep one.
“I’m glad you’ve been here for my mom,” he admitted, giving her a quick look of sincere thanks. His heart contracted. There were still tears in her eyes. Cat was too easily touched. He felt helpless to fix this.
“Sandy’s a wonderful person,” Cat said quietly. “And I can see so much of her in you. She has been such a strong member of our community. She did a lot of volunteer work before she got sick. Now all those people she’s helped over the years have turned around to help her. You need to know your mom is greatly loved, Talon. Gwen Garner, who owns the quilting store, has her club members see Sandy weekly. In fact, it’s Gwen who gave all of us a monthly visiting schedule. Your mom gets lots of company every day. Gus fixes her a dinner once a week and I drive it over to her. A lot of the quilters make her breakfast or lunch.” The darkness in Talon’s eyes lightened, some of the tension around his hard, thinned mouth dissolved. “About fifty people volunteer to help Sandy. I don’t want you to think your mom has been abandoned. We’ve embraced her and she’s as happy as she can be. And now you’re home.” Cat’s voice grew stronger with feeling. “I know how much she’s been looking forward to this. You’ll give her a level of hope and care none of us ever could. This is the time when she needs you at her side.”
Nodding, he stared down at Zeke, who had laid his head on his thigh. “She sounds so damned weak.” And it scared the hell out of him to realize how close she was to dying. When he’d call her from the Naval Hospital, about once a week, she was always cheerful, upbeat and hopeful. Not now.
Cat placed her hand lightly on his shoulder. “She is weak. It’s the chemo. And I know you’re feeling pretty weak yourself right now. It’s going to take about two weeks for you to throw off this pneumonia and begin feeling halfway human. Did Sandy understand you couldn’t see her right away?”
“Yeah, I lied a little.” Talon absorbed Cat’s touch, desperate for more contact with her. He’d wanted to kiss her. Make love to her. How she sensed his needs was beyond him, but he was grateful anyway. “I made light of my pneumonia because I didn’t want her to worry. She knows I can’t be sick and visit her or it could impact her lowered immune system in a major way.”
“I think calling her daily will be a huge emotional boost for her,” Cat murmured, smiling a little. She couldn’t keep her hands off Talon. Just simply moving her fingers across his shoulder sent heated signals to her lower body. Wanting. Just him. Just Talon. Cat removed her hand. There was so much uncharted emotional territory with this man and she couldn’t trust herself.
“I