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Sophie’s phone, propped on its side on the breakfast bar of the kitchen, her slightly blurry image dancing across the screen.
‘Hi Kate. How are you?’
‘Little bit tipsy. Me and Ben have been out for dinner with Avril and Christopher. She sends her love, by the way. She’s not drinking, so I drank her share of prosecco. And Ben was being sensible because he’s playing football tomorrow. He’s going to bed.’ Kate raised her eyebrows in mock disgust and in the background Ben’s figure appeared and waved.
‘Night, Sophie. Hope it’s going well.’
There was the sound of a door closing and Kate leaned closer to the screen.
‘So how are you? Are you cooking loads of brilliant food? New York delis are supposed to be amazing.’
‘Mmm,’ replied Sophie with a guileless expression and a noncommittal nod, thinking of the succession of ready-roast chickens she’d eaten since she’d arrived. Chicken and salad nearly every night for two weeks. So much for being an award-winning food writer with an explorer’s quest for new and native tastes.
‘And how are you?’ repeated Kate, leaning even closer to the screen, as if that would help her get a closer look at Sophie’s guarded face.
‘I’m fine,’ said Sophie with a gentle smile.
‘Sure?’
‘Yes.’
‘Well, I’m not going to talk about James, unless you want to.’
‘Definitely not. This is a James-free zone.’
‘So what’s it like? Have you been up the Empire State Building? Have you been to Central Park? Have you done any shopping? Or are you too busy? I get the impression that New York is so busy and people work really hard there. Is it crazy?’
‘Yes, it is a bit. The subway’s crazy. Manhattan is busier than London. But I’ve got into a good routine.’ She made her eyes deliberately bright as she talked. Why couldn’t she match Kate’s enthusiasm?
Perhaps because the routine was quite dull.
Up at seven-thirty. On the subway at eight-thirty, coffee at Starbucks at nine-fifteen. At her desk at nine-thirty. It was all very Abba’s ‘The Day Before You Came’. Except there would be no one coming for her this time. During the day she was fine. The job was absorbing, busy and familiar, and she was getting plenty of sleep. Most nights she was in bed by nine.
‘The apartment is lovely. Look.’
Using her phone, Sophie gave Kate a quick tour of the apartment, showing her the deck first before the kitchen, bedroom and bathroom.
‘That shower is to die for,’ said Kate when Sophie finally returned to her breakfast-bar perch.
‘Yup, it is rather nice.’
‘Now all you need is a nice man to share it with you.’
‘Kate!’
‘Well, I’ve been thinking.’
Sophie winced.
‘I saw that. Meeting Ben after Josh was the best thing that happened to me. You need a rebound man.’
‘A rebound man?’
‘Yes. Someone to have some fun with to help you get over James. A fling.’
‘I’m fine,’ said Sophie severely.
‘What time is it there?’ asked Kate, surprising Sophie with the sudden change in subject.
‘It’s six-thirty.’
‘Six-thirty?’ Kate’s voice sounded accusing.
‘Yes.’
‘Six-thirty on a Friday night and you’re home alone. You’ve been there two weeks. You haven’t been to the Empire State Building. You haven’t been to Central Park. Have you?’
Unable to lie, Sophie shook her head.
‘You haven’t done anything, have you?’ Concern shimmered in the other girl’s face, evident even through Facetime blurriness.
Sophie pulled a face at Kate.
‘I’m worried about you.’
‘Don’t. I’m fine. Honest. It takes a while to get your bearings. Everyone’s so busy and it feels like life goes at such a speed here. I’ve met lots of people.’ Sophie crossed her fingers out of sight. ‘My landlady Bella runs the bakery downstairs. She’s very friendly. Lives upstairs.’ Sophie wasn’t about to confess to Kate that she hadn’t seen Bella since she arrived two weeks ago. ‘And her cousin, Todd, he works at the magazine. Writes the Man About Town column. He’s really nice. He’s been really helpful at work. Showed me the subway station on my first day. Helped me crack security at the magazine.’ She told Kate the full story and then told her about Madison, and Todd volunteering his desk.
‘He sounds rather nice,’ said Kate.
Sophie laughed. ‘Nice doesn’t come close. Todd is drop-dead gorgeous. Look him up on the magazine website. He’s also a grade-A womaniser. Not my type at all. Everyone at work is very nice and I’ve got so much to do to get up to speed. Taking over someone else’s job is—’
‘Oooh! Talk about blue eyes.’ Kate’s head was turned to the laptop to her left. ‘He is gorgeous.’
‘Good photography,’ said Sophie instantly, remembering her first reaction to Todd’s by-line picture on the website.
‘Methinks you doth protest too much,’ said Kate.
‘He’s well out of my league and very popular with the ladies. There’s a nice guy in advertising.’
‘Ah-ha,’ said Kate.
‘You’re like a bloody terrier, woman. I’ve only been here five minutes. It’s going to take time to get my bearings and get to know people.’
Kate’s mouth firmed. ‘No Soph, not normally.’ There was a long pause. ‘Not with you. You make friends with everyone, instantly. I think you’re hiding away. That’s not like you, Soph. Be honest. I’m worried about you. I thought getting away from London would be good for you and that New York would be a new start. It feels like you’re hibernating.’
Sophie stiffened. This was why she’d avoided calling or Facetiming anyone back home. Thankfully her parents were away on a six-month cruise and she could get away with brief texts and WhatsApp messages. In the throes of packing and closing up the house they’d been distracted enough not to ask too many questions about her hasty decision to move to New York, and she might have just omitted to tell them about James.
Kate’s face stared solemnly at her from the phone screen and in the corner her own scared face stared back at her. The words ‘cornered rabbit’ had never been truer.
For a minute she tried to think of a dozen other things to say, but she couldn’t lie, not to Kate, and the horrible truth she’d been trying to avoid came spilling out.
‘I miss him. I know he’s a shit. I know he lied his arse off. I hate him.’ Her heart clenched and she sucked in a breath. ‘But I … I miss him.’ She was not going to cry. ‘So much. It’s like there’s this huge hole. Everything I knew and thought … it’s like it’s been scrubbed out and there’s nothing left. I feel empty and it feels impossible to look forward. I’m too busy looking back. Everything I thought … it wasn’t anything. It was based on one huge lie. Part of me still can’t believe it. And I still … I still love him. And I hate that I do.’ Her mouth crumpled and she blinked hard. ‘I really hate that I … s-still …’
‘Oh Soph, sweetie. I wish I was there. I’m sorry.’ Kate held her hand over her mouth, her eyes semaphoring worry and concern. ‘You’re so far away. I wish I hadn’t encouraged you to go now.’