Becoming The Boss. Zuri DayЧитать онлайн книгу.
‘Anyway, do I look like the kind of woman someone could easily mess with?’ She hoped not. She’d spent years building her defences after all.
Finn slowly shook his head and his fierce scowl was tempered into a decadent curve of his lips as he murmured what sounded like, ‘That’s my girl.’
Their eyes caught…held…and Serena would have sworn she actually felt the odd dynamic of their relationship take a profound twist.
Before she knew it more words flooded over her tongue—a chaotic, unravelling rush she couldn’t seem to stop.
‘When I look at you I want to blame you, hate you.’ And hadn’t it been easier to blame Finn instead of just accepting it as a tragic accident from which no justice could be reaped? ‘But on the back of those thoughts comes the guilt, the self-censure, because he asked me to go out with him that night and I wouldn’t.’
She’d been horribly selfish, hating the social scene, knowing she didn’t fit in, so she’d told him to go, to have fun.
‘If I’d gone out with him he wouldn’t have asked you.’ Misery poured from her heart. ‘I was such a coward.’ Oh, God, could it have been her fault?
Finn surged forward, raised his arm and brushed a lock of hair from her brow so tenderly her heart throbbed.
‘You can’t take responsibility for someone else’s actions, baby. He was old enough to make his own decisions.’
‘Well, then I should’ve persuaded him to take professional swimming lessons—’ Her voice cracked. ‘Something. Anything.’
‘Again, you can’t make people do what they don’t want to. You think he’d honestly want you to blame yourself like this?’
‘No,’ she whispered. Tom would go crazy if he saw her right now.
Crazy? She gave a little huff. If Tom knew she was being cruel to Finn he would go berserk. Finn had been his hero. He’d talked about him constantly. And hadn’t that driven her insane too? Ensuring he was never far from her mind. Taunting her. Creating more anger. Powering more hate. But that wasn’t Finn’s fault. It was hers. Because she’d never understood her unruly all-consuming reactions to such a wild player. He was anything but safe.
‘How did it happen?’ she asked, suddenly weary. ‘Were you there? All I want to know is that he didn’t suffer.’
A muscle ticked in his jaw and he took a large step back, filching her heat. ‘I was…asleep. It was the middle of the night.’
A black blend of torment and bone-wrenching guilt stole the colour from his beautiful face and from nowhere she wanted to throw her arms around him. He was hurting so badly. Like a wounded animal. It was like being tossed back in time, staring at her own reflection. She couldn’t bear it.
Trembling, she reached for his hand, the despair and loneliness she’d suffered in the last months calling to her—reaching out for his, to share it. To comfort and be comforted. A craving she’d stifled for months.
All the torment. The guilt suffocating her. Suffocating him. When she’d thought he didn’t care she’d wanted to punish him endlessly. Yet he’d buried it just as she had. And where was it getting them? Fate had dealt them a cruel card and unless they moved on all she could see lining the road ahead was endless misery.
Let it go…
Her fingers met his skin and as if she’d zapped him with three thousand volts he jolted backwards.
‘I’ve already warned you once tonight, Serena,’ he said roughly. ‘You touch me right now and I’ll lose it. Won’t be able to stop myself from wanting more.’
The memory of him crouched before her, his hot gaze locked on her lower abdomen, his warm breath teasing over her flesh, sprang up in her mind’s eye and heat drenched her body like a deluge of tropical rain.
‘I…I don’t understand you. Are you still trying to distract me or something? Because you’re wasting your time, Finn, I’m not going anywhere.’
He rubbed at his temple as if she was giving him a migraine. ‘I’m beginning to realise that.’
‘Good. But I still can’t fathom why you want more from me. I’m not—’
His turbulent gaze crashed into her. ‘Not beautiful? Yes, you are. Sexy? More than anyone I’ve ever met.’
Yeah, right. ‘I meant I’m not a woman. Not feminine—stuff like that.’
‘Of course you are—’
‘Er…hello? Slippers?’ While he looked wicked and gorgeous in his devilish tux.
‘In your own unique way.’
‘No. I’m not.’ Was she? ‘Nor do I want to be.’ Unveiling that secret part of her would only bring more vulnerabilities. Weakness.
Finn shook his head, his mouth shaping for speech. Then he seemed to think better of it. ‘Listen; while the best place for you is far away from me, we have to work together, boss-lady. At least until the end of the season.’
Was he saying he wasn’t staying with the team? He must know her dad would want him to.
‘I know that.’ The strike of her conscience made her wince. ‘About the boss thing…’
The ghost of a smile softened his sinful mouth. ‘A slight exaggeration on your part, Miss Scott?’
‘Could’ve been,’ she posed lightly.
‘You’ve got balls, Serena, I’ll give you that.’
Their eyes locked once more and she held her breath. Wishing she could read him better. Hating her lack of experience. By the time he tore his eyes free she felt dizzy from the lack of oxygen.
‘Regardless, we’ll still be seeing a lot of each other, so I suggest we endeavour not to end up alone. Unless…’
‘Unless?’
He shifted on his glossy feet. ‘Unless you ever need…a friend.’ He scrubbed his nape with the palm of his hand. A bit uneasy. A whole lot handsome. ‘That’s what you said, wasn’t it? That you’d lost a friend too? So if you ever need one I’ll be there.’
Oh, great. Now he was being all thoughtful. A little bit wonderful. The last thing she needed.
Friendship was a terrible idea. They clashed like titans. But she wasn’t about to throw his offer in his face. She didn’t have the heart. ‘Okay. It’s a deal.’
With a brief nod he turned to walk away.
‘Finn?’
‘Yeah?’
Am I truly beautiful to you? Did you mean it?
‘Don’t forget,’ she said. ‘You owe me a wish.’
Finn stripped his jacket from his body, yanked the black tie from his collar and slung them across the caliginous suite. Then he flopped atop the bed, face down, his insides raw and aching from being clawed to shreds.
Withholding the truth hammered at his conscience, making his temples pound until his vision blurred and he prayed for peaceful slumber. Not that he deserved it. The past was catching up with him, slowly but surely.
He’d been so close to telling her everything. Battling with a promise made, an investigation that could blow wide any day, and an insight that she’d been through her own version of hell.
What had happened to his brave little tigress? She’d cleverly derailed him and he’d never met anyone who’d managed that feat. Were they talking emotional or physical hurt, here? Though in