Scandalous Sins. Tara PammiЧитать онлайн книгу.
of what he wanted right now? Violet came from a family where marriage was a tradition that was celebrated and treasured and believed in. She wanted the fairytale her parents and siblings had.
It wasn’t that Cam was so cynical he didn’t think marriage could work. It did work. It worked brilliantly, as Margie and Gavin Drummond demonstrated and their parents before them. But Cam’s parents’ example had made him see the other side of the order of service: the stonewalling, the bitter fights, the disharmony, the petty paybacks, the affairs and then the divorce lawyers, not to mention years of estrangement where the very mention of the other person’s name would bring on an explosive fit of temper.
While Cam didn’t think he was the type of person to walk out on a commitment as important as marriage, how could he be sure life wouldn’t throw up something that would challenge the standards he upheld? The promises people made so earnestly in church didn’t always ring with the same conviction when life tossed in a curve ball or two.
It was all well and good to be confident he would stand by his commitment, but it wasn’t just about his commitment. The other person would have to be equally committed. How could he be sure Violet, as gorgeous and sweet as she was, would feel the same about him in ten weeks, let alone ten years or five times that? Watching his parents go through their acrimonious divorce when he was a young child had made him wary about rushing into the institution.
He had never had any reason to question his decision before now. It had always seemed the safest way to handle his relationships—being open and honest about what he could and couldn’t give. Yes, some lovers might have been disappointed there was no promise of a future. But at least he hadn’t misled them.
But sleeping with Violet had changed things. Changed him. Made him more aware of the things he would be missing out on rather than the things he was avoiding. Things like walking into a party hand in hand, knowing he was going to leave with that hand still in his. Knowing the smile she turned his way was for him and no one else. Recognising the secret look she gave him that told him she was remembering every second of his lovemaking and she couldn’t wait to experience it again. Feeling the frisson of awareness when she brushed against him, how his body was so finely tuned to hers he could sense her presence even when she was metres away.
Had he ever felt like that with anyone else? No. Never. Which wasn’t to say he wouldn’t with someone else...someone other than Violet. His gut swerved at the thought of making love to someone else. He couldn’t imagine it. Couldn’t even picture it. Couldn’t think of a single person who would excite him the way she excited him.
It will pass. It always does.
Lust for him was a candle not a coal ember. It would flare for a time and then snuff out. Sometimes gradually, sometimes overnight.
But when he looked at Violet, he couldn’t imagine his desire for her ever fading. Because his desire for her wasn’t just physical. There was another quality to it, a quality he had never felt with anyone else. When he’d made love to her it had felt like an act of worship rather than just sex. Her response to him had been a gift rather than a given. The fact she trusted him enough to feel able to express herself sexually was the biggest compliment—and turn on—he had ever experienced.
But...
How was he going to explain the end of their ‘engagement’ to her family? How was he going to go back to being just friends? How would he be able to look at her and not remember the way her mouth had felt when she’d opened it for him that first time? How her shy little tongue had tangled with his until his blood had pounded so hard he’d thought his veins would explode? How would he be able to be in the same room as her without wanting to draw her into his arms? To feel her slim body press against his need until he was crazy with it?
Maybe he was crazy. Maybe that was the problem. Making love to her was the craziest thing he’d done in a long time.
But...
He wanted to make love to her again. And again and again.
God help him.
* * *
Violet was coming back from a trip to the ladies’ room when she was intercepted by three of her workmates, including Lorna.
‘Congratulations, Violet,’ Lorna said, eyeing her engagement ring. ‘Gracious me, that man of yours was quick off the mark.’ Her gaze flicked to Violet’s abdomen. ‘You’re not pregnant, are you?’
If there was one time in her life Violet wished she didn’t have the propensity to blush, this was it. Could Lorna tell the engagement wasn’t real? After all, Violet hadn’t mentioned anything about dating anyone, not that she talked about her private life that much at work. But women working together for a long time tended to pick up on those things. Besides, conversations around the water cooler tended to show how boring her life was compared to everyone else’s. ‘No, not yet but it’s definitely on the to-do list.’ Why did you say that?
Lorna’s smile didn’t involve her eyes. ‘When’s the big day?’
‘Erm...we haven’t decided on a date yet,’ Violet said. ‘But some time next year.’ I wish.
‘So how did he propose?’
Violet wished she’d talked this through a little more with Cam. They hadn’t firmed up any details of their story apart from the fact—which was indeed a fact—they had met via her older brother. How would Cam propose if he were going to ask her to marry him? He wasn’t the bells and whistles type. There wouldn’t be any skywritten proposals or football-stadium audiences while he got down on bended knee. That was the sort of thing his father did, even on one memorable occasion making the evening news. Cam would choose somewhere quiet and romantic and tell her he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Her heart squeezed. If only! ‘It was really romantic and—’
‘Ah, here’s Prince Charming himself,’ Lorna said as Cam approached. ‘Violet’s been telling me how you proposed.’
Cam’s smile never faltered but Violet knew him well enough to notice the flicker of tension he was trying to disguise near his mouth. He slipped an arm around Violet’s waist and drew her close against him. ‘Have you, darling?’
Violet’s smile had a hint of help me about it. ‘Yes, I was saying it was terribly romantic...with all the roses and...stuff.’
‘What colour?’ Lorna asked.
‘White,’ Violet said.
‘Red,’ Cam said at exactly the same time.
Lorna’s artfully groomed brows rose ever so slightly. But then she smiled and winked at Cam. ‘You have good taste. Violet’s a lucky girl to land a man who knows his way around a diamond dealer.’
‘She deserves the very best,’ Cam said.
‘Yes, well, she’s waited long enough for it,’ Lorna said and with a fingertip wave moved on to return to the party.
Violet released a long jagged breath. ‘She suspects something. I know she does. We should’ve talked about the proposal.’ She spun around so her back was to the party room. ‘I feel such an idiot. And, for the record, I hate red roses.’
‘I’ll make a note of it.’
Violet searched his expression but he had his blank-wall mask on. ‘So how would you propose if you were going to?’
His brows moved together over his eyes. ‘Is that a trick question?’
‘No, it’s a serious one,’ Violet said. ‘If, and I know it’s a very big “if”, but if you were to ask someone to marry you how would you go about it?’
Cam glanced about him. ‘Is this the right venue to talk about this?’
Violet wasn’t going to risk being cornered by another workmate for details of their engagement. Nothing would out a charade faster than someone cottoning on to a clash of accounts of an event from witnesses. ‘We’re out of earshot