Single Dads Collection. Lynne MarshallЧитать онлайн книгу.
buckets and spades are a bit of a give-away,’ Emily said with a laugh, but it cracked in the middle and he shot her a glance.
‘Come with us,’ she said softly. ‘I’ve brought your shorts—you left them drying in the bathroom. And I brought bottles and stuff for Kizzy. I had a feeling you might be here.’
‘Did you come looking for me, Emily?’
His voice was a little hard, and she looked away. ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did. I know it’s difficult.’
‘You have no idea,’ he murmured, and got to his feet, tucking Kizzy back in the sling. ‘Come on, then, kids. Let’s go and build sandcastles.’
They buried him again.
Buried him and jumped on him, while Em sat with Kizzy and laughed and told them to be gentle, and then Georgie came down with Harry and Dickon and Maya, and they ended up back at the Barrons’ house, having juice and biscuits and playing in the swimming pool.
And Kizzy ran out of milk.
‘Sorry, guys, time to go, we have to feed the baby,’ he said, and helped Em dry the children and walk them reluctantly home.
‘I wanted to stay,’ Beth said mournfully. ‘I like Dickon. He’s my friend. Freddie’s a baby.’
She wasn’t much more than a baby herself, he thought, smiling indulgently and hugging her slim shoulders as they walked along.
‘There’ll be other days. Maybe you can see them again tomorrow or the next day.’
‘Tomorrow,’ she said decisively, and ran to her mother. ‘Can we see them tomorrow?’
‘We’ll see,’ she said, and Beth pouted.
‘That means no,’ she explained to Harry. ‘But I want to see them.’
‘Well, we can’t always have what we want,’ he said, his heart aching, because this little family outing was getting to him, reaching parts of him that had been dormant all his life, and the process, like letting blood back into a limb that had gone to sleep, was a mass of alien sensations. And not all of them were pleasant.
She was sitting in the study, wrestling with the plans for Nick’s contract, when she heard the back door open and shut.
‘Em?’
She stood up, stretching out the kinks, and went into the kitchen to see Harry there with Kizzy in his arms, his face troubled.
‘What’s up?’ she asked.
He swallowed, looked down at Kizzy and pressed his lips together. ‘I’ve had a phone call from my boss. There’s been an earthquake.’ He hesitated, then said, ‘She wants me to go.’
‘But you’ve got another twelve days!’
‘I know. But she wants me now. It’s not for long, just three or four days, but…’He shrugged, and she felt a cold, sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
‘Are you going?’
‘I have to.’
‘And Kizzy?’
He frowned. ‘I wanted to ask you if you’d look after her. I wouldn’t have asked, but she hasn’t given me any notice. And I know I haven’t sorted out any child care, but I’ll do it the minute I get back.’
She ignored that. She was too busy thinking about him going to an earthquake zone. Not that he hadn’t done it before, but that somehow had been more remote. Now, after these weeks, it all seemed much closer to home.
‘So, will you? Look after her?’
‘This time,’ she said, trying to inject some muscle into her voice, but it didn’t sound convincing. ‘When do you go?’
‘In the morning. Early.’
Just like that, her dream was turning to dust. She felt her eyes fill, and turned away.
‘Is Dan here?’
‘Yes, he’s watching a movie.’
‘Tell him goodbye from me. I’ll bring her round in the morning, just before I go.’
She nodded, and he turned and went out, all the spirit drained from him.
Why? Why go, she wanted to ask him, but she couldn’t. She knew why he was going—because he’d convinced himself it was who he was. Even though he clearly didn’t even want to go this time.
She snorted, shut the door and stuck her head round the sitting-room door. ‘I’m off to bed.’
‘Was that Harry?’
She nodded, but couldn’t say any more. ‘I’ll see you in the morning,’ she said, and went upstairs.
She took a shower, so the sound of running water would drown out her sobs, and then she went to bed. Not that she slept, and at four-thirty, when she heard Harry’s front door open and shut, she tiptoed into Beth’s room and watched him walking down the road, Kizzy in the sling on his front.
She pulled on her clothes and ran lightly downstairs, slipped out of the door and followed him.
She knew where he was going, and she followed him to the cliff top and sat beside him on the wet grass and tucked her arm in his, her head on his shoulder as he fed Kizzy and watched the sun come up.
Finally he took a deep breath, let it out on a sigh and stood up, helping her to her feet. They walked back in silence, and when they reached her house, he turned and looked down at her without a word.
And still without a word, she took his hand and led him, not down her drive but down his, and in through the door, and up to the bedroom he’d used as a child.
He put Kizzy down, still sleeping, in her cot, and came back to her, his expression guarded, but a muscle jumped in his jaw.
‘Are you sure, Em?’ he murmured.
She nodded, blinking away the tears. ‘Yes.’
And with a ragged sigh, he drew her into his arms.
‘HERE—my house keys. Get Dan to take the cot over later. I meant to do it when I got back from my walk, but I got a little sidetracked.’
His mouth twisted into a sad, fleeting smile, and he drew her back into his arms, his voice muffled by her hair. ‘I’m sorry. I hate dumping her on you. I know it isn’t fair, but it won’t happen again. I’ve been thinking about what you said, and I’ve decided you’re right. I’ll sort all the details out when I get back, but I’m going to put her up for adoption.’
She lifted her head, unable to stifle a little cry, and took in the bleak, empty look in his eyes. ‘Oh, Harry,’ she said, but there was nothing she could add. There was nothing to say and, anyway, her throat wouldn’t work properly, so she just lifted her hands and cradled his face and kissed him.
‘Take care,’ she pleaded.
He nodded. ‘I’ll see you soon.’
He kissed her again, urgently, hungrily, and then broke the kiss abruptly, turned on his heel and strode to his car, driving off without a backward glance. She lifted her hand to her lips, her fingers replacing his lips, holding in the anguish.
‘Oh, dear God, take care of him,’ she whispered, and picking up Kizzy in her little carrier, she went round the side of her house and in through the kitchen door.
Dan was sitting there, Freddie in his high chair having juice and toast, Beth kneeling on a chair arranging her toast soldiers into neat rows and talking to them, and as she