Dreaming Of... Brazil. Оливия ГейтсЧитать онлайн книгу.
‘For God’s sake, Danny— If you’d just listen to me.’
‘I have been listening to you. I’ve heard everything you’ve said. It’s what you haven’t said that’s upset me. You’ve upset Lizzie—and on her honeymoon too. I shouldn’t have had to read those things, Tiago. I believed you. I trusted you.’
Moving past him, she snatched his riding jacket down from the hook on the back of the door and pulled it on. It drowned her, but the jacket served its purpose in that it covered her completely.
‘You’ve always been my number one concern, Danny.’
‘Save it,’ she said coldly. ‘I suppose it was only a matter of you choosing the right time to explain?’
‘As a matter of fact, it was,’ he agreed. ‘Husbands and wives talk. I did say those things to Chico, but that was when I was still formulating a plan. Of course I was going to tell you. I knew there was a risk Lizzie might say something, and I knew it was up to me to reassure you that my grandfather’s demands were, and are, completely unacceptable.’
‘And when would you have done that, Tiago? In the delivery ward? Or one year from today when our contract was at an end?’ She shook her head in despair. ‘What type of woman do you think I am?’
‘It’s precisely because of the type of woman you are that I married you. Yes, this started out as a business deal, but you mean so much more to me than that.’
‘Lucky me,’ she scoffed. ‘And now I suppose you love me?’ She raised a brow. ‘Is that what you’re saying?’
‘Yes, I do,’ Tiago admitted quietly.
‘How convenient. Let me tell you something, Tiago. There can be no love without trust. And you’ve destroyed my trust completely. I don’t think you have a clue what love is. I think you’ve shut yourself off from feelings for so long you’ll never understand.’
‘I didn’t want to hurt you.’
‘So you were going to sit me down like a little girl to explain? How patronising. And I thought we entered this marriage as equals.’
‘We are equals.’
‘But some are more equal than others, it seems to me,’ she said coldly. ‘I was a convenient bride. I get that. But don’t think any child of mine is going to be a convenient baby.’
‘I’ve never thought that and I never will.’ He blocked her way out of the kitchen. ‘There is no small print in our contract that you don’t know about. There was talk in my grandfather’s will of a child, but that was all part of his delusion and cannot be upheld in law.’
‘How disappointing for you.’
‘Don’t,’ he said. ‘Please don’t be bitter and angry. You never used to be like this—’
‘You mean I used to be a mug?’
‘No!’ Tiago exclaimed.
‘Just unlucky, then?’ she said. ‘Maybe I could have swallowed this too, if you hadn’t stirred my maternal instincts—but you have. I fell in love with you, Tiago. That was my mistake. I thought this was going to be the best night of my life—not the worst. And, worst of all, I thought I could change you.’
‘You have changed me.’
‘Have I, Tiago?’ Drawing in a shaking breath, she lifted her head to look at him. ‘Why can’t polo players ever be straight with a woman? Are you all too busy and important to consider the feelings of your fellow human beings? Do we exist only for your convenience?’
‘If you’re referring to Pintos, I’ll take that—because I should have been straight with you from the start. But I was trying to protect you, Danny, and I got it wrong. I would have done anything to protect you. Nothing you’ve read on that screen suggests that I agree with my grandfather. It’s old talk. And he can’t enforce his demands from the grave. Nor would I allow him to if he were alive today. And in spite of what you must think of him he wasn’t a bad man. He’d just fought so hard for what he had, and he’d lost it once. He couldn’t bear to lose it again.’
With an exhausted gesture, he shook his head.
‘All I can say is that I wish those emails had never been sent, because then I could reassure you. But, whatever you think of me now, I will always protect you. Maybe I went too far this time, but that’s only because I love you.’
‘You love me? You don’t even know the meaning of the word.’
‘Stop it, Danny—this is your insecurity. You’re not so different from me. We can work this out.’
‘Can we? Why drag it out for a year, Tiago? You have the ranch. My job is done. Why keep up the pretence any longer?’
‘Because I love you. Because I’m happier than I’ve ever been.’
‘I don’t know what to think any more,’ Danny admitted. ‘I feel as if every time I put down foundations something comes along to shake them loose.’
‘Not this time—I promise you,’ Tiago insisted fiercely. ‘That’s your past talking. Just because your mother’s never been there for you. That’s not me—that’s not now.’
Drawing his jacket tightly around her shoulders, she shook her head. ‘I can’t give you the answer you want. I’m sorry, Tiago. Maybe it is my past getting in the way, but I need time to think this through.’
‘Danny—’
‘Please...’ She backed away. ‘I need space to think, and I can’t think when I’m close to you.’
* * *
He slept the rest of the night in the guest bedroom, while Danny slept in his room. He couldn’t say he blamed her for doubting him. A lifetime of blanking out his feelings hadn’t helped him to handle the situation better. He could have dealt with Danny angry and hot-tempered more easily, but when she’d turned cold, had spoken to him so bleakly, he had known she was right. The past had a lot to answer for, and she did need time.
But he wasn’t ready to give up. Swinging out of bed, he showered and dressed, and then knocked on her door.
‘Come on. Get up—we’re going riding.’
He wasn’t even sure she’d heard him, let alone that she would join him. But she did. He should have known Danny was a survivor, and that she would be every bit as tough this morning as she had been last night, when she had told him what he could do with his gifts and his money.
They saddled up in silence and rode out together. They didn’t speak until they reached the river, where he dismounted.
Danny joined him. ‘So?’ she said.
‘So,’ he echoed, staring out across the river. ‘When are you leaving?’
‘Soon.’
He ground his jaw, but acknowledged this. ‘This is not how I expected to spend the first day of my married life—but then I didn’t expect to get married at all,’ he admitted. ‘My parents put me off marriage when I was a child, with their shouting and squabbling over what was left of my grandfather’s money.’
‘You were put off marriage until you were forced to marry. Isn’t that it, Tiago?’
‘Yes,’ he admitted bluntly.
‘Were you hunting for a bride at Lizzie’s wedding, when I practically ran into you?’
‘You were so angry and shocked—I seem to remember you almost knocked me over. You would probably have liked to, anyway. As for hunting for a bride... Yes, I did scan the pool for likely candidates, and you were close to the top of my list.’
‘Only close?’ Danny said dryly, staring out across the river.