Modern Romance Collection: February 2018 Books 1 - 4. Lynne GrahamЧитать онлайн книгу.
against me?’
‘I try not to dwell on it. If you didn’t want a relationship with me at the time there would’ve been no point in you coming back into my life,’ she conceded simply. ‘It would’ve been too awkward for both of us.’
Angel winced. ‘I didn’t even realise that I did want to be in a relationship with you back then. I would have to admit that I was completely blind to my own hang-ups. Growing up I only saw shallow, chaotic relationships, which is why when I was an adult I avoided anything that could have been construed as a relationship. I had sex and that was that, end of...only then I met you and my blueprint for a relaxed and unemotional life went up in flames.’
‘How could you have an unemotional life when you’re so full of emotion?’ Merry asked him incredulously.
‘I keep that side of me under control...at least I did until you and Elyssa sneaked through my defences,’ Angel reasoned wryly. ‘You know, you may not have been a happy camper while you were pregnant but I wasn’t any happier. You shook me up. You made me want more and that scared me because I had no experience of a normal relationship.’
‘You don’t do relationships,’ she reminded him drily.
‘What have I been doing with you for the past month?’ Angel shot back at her. ‘There’s nothing casual about our connection. Do you really think it’s normal for me to be content to spend so much time with one woman?’
‘I didn’t ask you to do that.’
‘I’m a selfish bastard. I did it only because I wanted to.’
‘For your daughter’s sake, you worked at being married to me,’ Merry paraphrased with pained dismissiveness.
Angel shook his arrogant dark head in wonderment. ‘I’ve got to admit that right now I’m having to work at being married to you because you are so stubbornly determined to think the worst of me.’
‘That’s not true.’
‘You don’t trust me. You’re always waiting for the roof to fall in! I used to think that was cute but now I’m beginning to wonder if you’ll ever recognise that, even though I’ve made a hell of a lot of mistakes along the way, I do love you,’ he completed almost defiantly.
Merry stared at him in astonishment. ‘You don’t.’
‘Even when you’re wearing the bunny pyjamas you were wearing the night I got you pregnant,’ Angel assured her with confidence. ‘I didn’t recognise it as love until after we were married. Even though I’m always worrying about you, I’m incredibly happy being with you. I wake up in the morning and everything feels good because you’re there beside me. When you’re not there, everything feels off and I feel weirdly lonely...’
Merry’s lower lip parted company with her upper and she stared at him in wide-eyed consternation.
‘And the most extraordinary thing of all is that I thought you loved me too until you walked out and accused me of cheating on you,’ Angel admitted ruefully. ‘I thought that for the first time in my life I was loved for who I was, not for what I can do or buy or provide. You know I’m flawed and you accept it. You know I’m still finding my way in this family set-up.’
‘You’re not the only one. Yesterday I discovered that Sybil is not my aunt but my grandmother,’ Merry told him in a sudden surge. ‘That’s another reason why I was so upset and over the top with you yesterday. I was already all shaken up. My mother was adopted by Sybil’s parents and only learned the truth when she was eighteen. Oh, never mind, I’ll explain it all to you later, but finding out that Sybil and Natalie had been keeping all that from me all my life made me feel deceived...and you’re right, I do love you,’ she completed almost apologetically. ‘I have almost from the start. Don’t know why, don’t know how, just got attached regardless of common sense.’
Angel rested his hands down on her taut shoulders. ‘We had an electric connection from the first day. Somehow, we match. I just wish I hadn’t wasted so much time staying away from you when I wanted to be with you. I was existing in a sort of fog of denial that everything had changed and that I wanted the sort of relationship that I had never trusted or experienced with a woman.’
‘And I let you down,’ she whispered guiltily. ‘I did think the worst at the first sign of trouble. I wasn’t strong and sensible the way I should have been.’
‘It’s sort of comforting that your common sense leaves you when you’re upset. When I arrived and saw you’d been crying, obviously upset, it gave me hope that you did care.’
‘I’ll always care,’ she muttered softly, turning her cheek into the caress of his long fingers.
‘I’ve never trusted love. I know my father cares about me but my mother lost interest the minute I grew beyond the cute baby stage,’ he confided. ‘What you said about Sybil and your mother? Take it back to basics, agape mou. You may not have known the whole story but you were always loved. That’s a blessing. It’s much harder to love without that experience and the confidence it gives you.’
Merry stretched up to him and buried her face in his shoulder, drinking in the musky familiar aroma of his skin like a restorative drug. He caught her chin in his fingers and tipped up her mouth to taste her with hungry urgency.
‘You taste so good,’ he ground out, walking her back towards the bed with single-minded intent. ‘Tell me you love me again... I like hearing it.’
‘How did you guess how I felt?’ Merry pressed. ‘I thought I was hiding it.’
‘You put up with all my unreasonable demands and still smiled at me. I didn’t deserve it so there had to be some other reason why you were being so tolerant and sometimes I couldn’t help testing you to see if you’d crack.’
‘I don’t crack. I’m loyal and loving...as long as you don’t take on a mistress.’
‘Where would I get the energy?’ Angel growled, his attention elsewhere as he slid his hand below the tee shirt to mould it to a plump breast with satisfaction, and then wrenched her out of its concealment with unashamed impatience. ‘Thee mou, I want you so much it hurts... I thought I was losing you.’
‘And then I disappointed you.’
‘You’re not supposed to walk away, you’re supposed to stand and fight for me,’ Angel told her. ‘I fought for you.’
‘I was hiding behind my pride.’
‘I don’t have any where you’re concerned and I have even fewer scruples. I was willing to drug and kidnap you to get you back to Greece. You don’t want to know the things that ran through my mind when I thought I was losing you,’ he assured her. ‘A large helping of crazy, if I’m honest.’
‘That’s because you love me,’ Merry told him happily. ‘You’re allowed to think crazy things if you want to fight to keep me...’
And their clothes fell away in a messy heap as Angel moved to make her his again and satisfy the last lurking stab of insecurity inside him. Merry was his again and all was right with his world, well, almost all. He shifted lithely against her, holding her close.
‘When you feel up to the challenge, we’ll have another baby and I will share the whole experience with you,’ Angel promised, jolting her out of her drowsy sensual daydream.
‘Another...baby?’ Merry gasped in disbelief. ‘You’ve got to be kidding! Elyssa’s only seven months old!’
‘You could consider it...eventually, hopefully,’ Angel qualified. ‘Although I’ll settle for Elyssa if you don’t want another child. It’s not a deal breaker.’
‘Are you sure the threat of that extra responsibility won’t make you run for the hills again?’ Merry asked snidely.
‘No, set me the challenge of getting you pregnant and I assure you that I will happily meet every