Modern Romance February 2020 Books 1-4. Louise FullerЧитать онлайн книгу.
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Willow spun around in a rather ungainly circle and went to open the front door. ‘I’ll get by fine without you,’ she told him with a defiantly bright smile. ‘But thanks for caring.’
And on that hollow note, Jai departed. As soon as he was gone, Willow felt empty, exhausted and horribly hurt. She would never see him again except in newspapers or magazines at some glamorous or important event, but that was for the best because Jai had rejected her on every level. He had switched back to treating her like a distant acquaintance, whom he was willing to help in times of trouble, smoothly distancing himself from their brief intimacy.
He not only regretted sleeping with her, but also suspected that she had slept with him because she had once been infatuated with him. He had made mincemeat out of her pride and humiliated her.
Goodbye, Jai, she thought numbly. Goodbye and good riddance!
WILLOW SAT ON the side of the bath and waited for the wand to give her a result while Shelley sidled round the door, too impatient to wait outside. ‘Well?’ she pressed excitedly.
‘Another thirty seconds,’ Willow muttered wearily.
‘I love babies.’ Shelley sighed dreamily.
‘So do I… I just thought it would be years before I had one. And maybe it will be,’ Willow contended, trying not to be too pessimistic.
After all, skipping a period wasn’t always a sign of pregnancy even in a woman with a regular cycle. But then there was also the soreness of her breasts, the occasional light-headed sensation and her sudden sensitivity to smells and tastes that had never bothered her before. Yet Willow still couldn’t credit that an unplanned pregnancy could happen to her. Surely Jai had used condoms? She hadn’t thought to check or ask him, had simply not even considered the danger of conception, which had been exceedingly foolish when it was she who would fall pregnant if anything went amiss. Maybe a condom had failed, maybe during the night he had forgotten to use one, maybe she was just one of the unfortunate few who conceived regardless of the contraception used.
‘Congratulations!’ Shelley carolled irrepressibly and grabbed her into an enthusiastic hug. ‘You’re pregnant.’
Willow paled. ‘Are you sure?’ she gasped, peering down at the wand for herself, and there it was: the line for a positive result.
‘You’ll have to go to the doctor ASAP,’ Shelley warned her. ‘I mean…you must be at least eight weeks along now and you should be taking vitamins and stuff.’
In no hurry to approach a doctor for confirmation, Willow wandered back out to the very comfortable sofa she slept on and sank heavily down. Pregnant! Just when her life was slowly beginning to settle again into a new routine, fate had thrown her onto a roller coaster of a ride that would destroy all her self-improvement plans. Of course, there were options other than keeping the baby to raise, she reminded herself doggedly, even while she knew that neither termination nor adoption had any appeal for her.
But how on earth would she manage? Currently she was waitressing in the bar that Shelley managed. The tips were good, particularly at weekends, and in another couple of months she would have saved up enough for a deposit for a little place of her own. After making that move, she had planned to polish up her CV and start trying to find work in the landscaping field that would pay enough for her to live on. She had her qualification now and even the most junior position would be a good start to a decent career and perhaps, ultimately, her own business. Throw a baby into the midst of those plans, however, and it blew them all to smithereens!
And yet the prospect of having Jai’s baby was already beginning to warm her at some deep level, although she felt guilty about feeling that way. He mightn’t have wanted her, but he couldn’t prevent her from having his child and she did love babies, and the thought of one of her own pleased and frightened her in equal parts. She didn’t have a single relative left alive, but her baby could be the foundation of a new family, she reflected lovingly.
She had lain awake on the sofa many nights reliving that night with Jai, wishing she didn’t feel like such an immature idiot for having slept with him in the first place and wishing that she didn’t miss him now that he was gone again. She wasn’t kidding herself that she was in love with him or anything like that, but she could not deny that Jai, the Maharaja of Chandrapur, had always fascinated her and that he had attracted her more powerfully than anyone else ever had. Those were the facts and she tried not to dress them up. She felt that she should’ve called a halt to their intimacy, but she hadn’t and the coolness of his departure had been her punishment. He had hurt her, but she tried not to dwell on those wounded feelings because what would be the point in indulging herself in such sad thoughts?
‘I’ll help you every step of the way,’ Shelley told her, sitting down beside her to grip her hand comfortingly. ‘We’ll get through it together…and at least you won’t have to worry about money, not with the father being rich.’
‘I’m not going to tell Jai!’ Willow exclaimed in dismay. ‘He didn’t want me so he’s even less likely to want a baby with me!’
‘It takes two to tango.’
‘And one to have common sense, and neither of us had any that night.’ Willow sighed and then groaned out loud. ‘Why should I make him suffer too? It would be so humiliating as well. I can’t face that on top of everything else.’
Shelley’s freckled face and bright blue eyes were troubled below her mop of brown curls. ‘Well, then, what are you planning to do?’
‘I don’t want to tell Jai… To be frank, I don’t want anything more to do with him,’ Willow admitted unhappily. ‘I’ll work this out without bothering him for help. Somehow I’ll work it out even if it means living on welfare benefits to survive.’
Two weeks later, while Willow was at work, Shelley had to deal with the surprise of Jai himself turning up on the doorstep asking after Willow because he hadn’t heard from her. Aware that her friend wanted no further contact with him, Shelley lied and said that Willow had moved out and hadn’t yet sent her a forwarding address. Jai left his mobile number with her.
Thirteen months later, the private investigation agency Jai had hired to find Willow finally tracked her down and, in the midst of his working day in his London office, Jai immediately settled down with a sense of urgency to flick open the ominously slim file.
The first fact he learned was that the investigation team had only contrived to find Willow by covertly watching and following her friend, Shelley. Jai was disconcerted to learn that Willow’s friend had lied to him when he had only had Willow’s best interests in mind. He would have been satisfied with the assurance that she was safe and well. He assumed that Willow had confided in her friend and it was conceivable that that night he had spent with her had muddied the water in her friend’s eyes and made his motivations seem more questionable, he conceded grudgingly.
After all, what could Willow possibly have to hide from him? Why would she get lost and neglect to get in touch with him when he had been so specific on that point? Had he offended her to such an extent?
He knew he had not been tactful. He had been too outspoken. He had embarrassed her, hurt her, he recalled unhappily. But he had been very shocked to realise that he had taken advantage of her innocence and his self-loathing on that score had still to fade, as had his recollections of that night. It seemed even worse to him that the memories of her still remained so fresh. Averse as he now was to any kind of casual encounter, he had not been with a woman since then. He had broken his own code of honour unforgettably with Willow and had buried himself in work while struggling to come to terms with that depressing truth.
Her disappearance and