New Year, New Man. Natalie AndersonЧитать онлайн книгу.
carefully.
Claire did a quick twirl, and he realized the dress was practically backless. He growled low under his breath. “No. Way.”
“Dad,” Claire whined, her bright smile turning to a pout. “Don’t be a stick-in-the-mud. I saw Mom wearing something like this in a magazine last month. I want to have something she’ll like when I go to visit her before school starts.”
“You don’t have a trip planned to see your mother,” Josh argued. “And you’re not going anywhere in that dress.”
Claire’s tiny hands came to rest on her hips. “I want to see her. I texted this morning and asked when she’d be back in New York. I could fly out next month if it works for her.”
“What did she answer?”
Claire’s mouth thinned, and she didn’t meet his gaze. “She hasn’t responded yet. But she will. You know how Mom does things last minute. I want to be ready.”
“You aren’t going to ‘fly out’ to be with her. We’re spending the summer in Colorado.”
Claire shook her head. “You can’t stop me.”
“The hell I can’t,” he shot back.
“You’re not the boss of me.”
“I’m your father and you’ll do as I say.”
“She’s my mom. You can’t keep me from her.”
He couldn’t think straight with Claire in that dress, looking so grown-up and out of his control. He had to keep her safe. He’d do anything, say anything to make sure she stayed with him. “I’m not keeping you from her,” he yelled. “She doesn’t want—”
He broke off, knowing the words were a mistake as soon as he said them.
“Me,” Claire finished on a sob. “You think she doesn’t want me.”
He watched his daughter’s eyes fill with tears and cursed himself for being the biggest idiot on the planet. “Claire, I didn’t mean—”
She shook her head. “You’re wrong,” she said quietly, the pain in her gaze cutting a deep hole in his heart. “I hate you. Mom is going to take me back. I know she will.” She turned and ran for the fitting room, silence filling the small store.
He took a step forward, but Sara put a hand on his arm. “She needs some time.”
“I can’t let her be with Jennifer. Too many bad things could happen.”
Sara shook her head. “Then don’t push her away.”
She was right, but that only fueled his frustration more. “What do you know about protecting the people you love? From what you’ve told me, April is the only friend you have and you lost her entire life savings. If you and your mother hadn’t put thoughts of another world in Claire’s head, we wouldn’t be here today. She’d be on the ranch. She’d be safe.” His hands balled into hard fists. “Only I can keep her safe.”
Sara sucked in a breath as if he’d slapped her. He waited for her to argue, to fight back. His words were untrue, but he’d baited her on purpose. He needed a good fight right now, a way to get rid of the fear crawling through every pore, making him feel weak and defenseless.
Instead, she looked away. “I’m going to get Claire. Pull the truck out front. I think this day is done.”
“Sara,” he called out as she walked away. She shook her head and kept moving, leaving Josh alone. His gaze dropped to the dress he held, a wrinkled, balled-up mess in his hands.
A lot like his life right now.
* * *
Sara followed Claire into the kitchen at the ranch three hours later. Three of the longest hours of her recent life. She was on edge down to her teeth after the tense ride back from Denver.
Claire had spent the entire time with her earbuds shoved in her ears, heaving dramatic sighs from the backseat as she furiously texted on her phone. Josh had turned the music loud, not the lulling country tunes from the morning but a pounding heavy-metal station that had only served to intensify Sara’s headache.
She’d leaned her head against the cool window glass and tried to tune out everything around her. It was a trick she’d learned as a girl on set, the ability to ignore the world and crawl into her own internal life.
But with Josh’s hulking presence next to her, it felt like all her other senses became more attuned to him when she closed her eyes. His clean, male scent. The hot tension curling from him. She could even sense the pattern of his breathing and wasn’t surprised when she opened her eyes to see that his chest rose and fell at the same rate hers did.
Although the words he’d spoken were the truth, he’d hurt her feelings. Still, she wanted to reach out and comfort him. He was a bumbling bull in a china shop when it came to Claire, but at least he cared. That was more than Sara had ever gotten from either of her parents, and she knew how much it mattered.
She also knew, because April continually reminded her, that she was a sucker for lost causes. Maybe it was because her secret dream had always been that someone would care enough to rescue her. She gave the best parts of herself to people who couldn’t return the emotion. Part of her fresh start, her second chance, had been the opportunity to finally take care of herself. To make herself whole and right so she could move forward with her dreams. If she let herself get too involved with Josh and Claire, all her careful plans could slip through her fingers.
She might, once again, be left with nothing.
Regardless, she couldn’t stand to see either of them in this kind of pain.
“He didn’t mean to hurt you,” she said to Claire’s back as the girl grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
April walked in from the family room. “How was the shopping trip? Do I get a fashion show tonight?”
Claire slammed shut the fridge door and whirled. “I’d like to burn every single piece of clothing my jerk of a dad bought today.” She swiped at her cheeks, her desperate gaze swinging between Sara and April. “He’s wrong, you know. My mom loves me. She’s busy, but she loves me.”
“I know, honey,” Sara answered. “He knows it, too. You scared him in that dress.”
“I looked scary?” Claire’s voice rose to a squeak.
Sara pressed her palm to the girl’s face, smoothing away a tear. “You looked gorgeous and grown-up. That’s the scariest thing a father can face. It makes them a little crazy.”
“A crazy jerk,” Claire mumbled.
A door slammed at the front of the house. Claire looked around wildly. “I don’t want to see his friends tonight. I don’t want to see anyone.”
Sara glanced at April. “Are you making dinner?”
“Everyone is going into town. Ryan made reservations.”
“Ryan is entertaining a group of cowboys?”
April nodded. “He stopped by earlier, looking for you. He’s adamant that you be there, too. For moral support.”
“I’m staying here if Claire wants company.”
April stepped forward. “I’ll keep Claire company.” She smiled. “I made chicken soup and an apple crisp earlier. I happen to know there’s a Jane Austen marathon tonight. Emma and Sense and Sensibility, two of my favorites. Does that sound okay, Claire?”
The girl nodded then gave a tiny hiccup. “I’m going to take a shower. I’ll be down when everyone else is gone.”
She gave Sara a quick hug. “I had a good time with you. Sorry Dad ruined it for both of us.”
“I enjoyed the day, no matter what.”
“I’ll