Finding Our Forever. Brenda NovakЧитать онлайн книгу.
her hurry to get close to Aiyana, had she given what she might face here enough weight?
“Still,” the man said. “It won’t be easy. I hope you haven’t gotten in over your head.”
When Cora glanced up, she happened to catch Elijah watching her. He didn’t look away, as she expected him to; he continued to measure her with those enigmatic eyes. Was he experiencing any doubts about having hired her?
Possibly. Probably. She hated to even consider that. But if she had to fight to find her place in the world, she’d do it. She supposed, in that respect, she wasn’t much different from Elijah or the other boys who’d come through here, or were still attending.
“I’ll be fine,” she said—and hoped it was true.
* * *
“I see you met Sean Travers.”
Cora recognized Elijah’s voice even before she turned to see him standing at her elbow. Why he’d put her through the discomfort approaching her was bound to cause, however, she couldn’t say.
“The guy who was sitting next to me?” she asked.
“Yes. Our science teacher—or ranch pessimist, depending on how well you know him.”
She nibbled at the cookie she’d just snagged from the refreshment table. “He doesn’t think I’m capable of teaching here. I guess I look too young and delicate to handle the boys who act out.”
“Does that shake your confidence?”
“I admit I’m a little worried. Everyone seems to believe the job should’ve gone to a man named Gary...”
“Seton,” he filled in as he handed her a cup of punch. “Because he’s local—they know him.”
“But...”
“It wasn’t their decision,” he said simply.
She couldn’t help envying him his long, dark eyelashes. She knew she had pretty eyes—guys told her that all the time—but she felt his were prettier. “No. It was yours. So...can you tell me why?”
“Why I chose you?”
“I know it isn’t what they all seem to think. You made that clear earlier.”
He took a sip of his own punch. “As far as I’m concerned, your competition has no...vision.”
“Am I supposed to understand what that means?”
His massive shoulders lifted in a shrug. “I wasn’t impressed with his work.”
“You were impressed with mine?”
“You’re talented,” he said evenly. “Perhaps more than you know.”
“I’m teaching art, not selling it. I’m guessing he was at least proficient.”
Elijah finally shifted that unnerving gaze away from her. “You have to understand certain concepts to be able to teach them.”
“What concepts are you specifically referring to?” she asked, but someone else approached him at that moment, interrupting, and he turned away without answering.
Since Eli fell deep into conversation with a woman who looked sixty or so and was concerned about a particular student Cora had no way of knowing, she felt awkward standing there waiting for the chance to speak to him again. So she gave them some privacy by carrying her punch over to the corner. She was looking for an unobtrusive vantage point from which to observe her birth mother. Aiyana was mingling with the staff. But then Cora saw the science teacher who’d sat next to her approach Aiyana and knew, when they both glanced in her direction, that they were talking about her. Sean Travers was expressing his reservations.
Disgruntled that this man she’d barely met would jump to conclusions based on her age and gender, and start to advocate against her, Cora finished her punch, dropped the paper cup in the wastebasket and left the library. Her phone kept vibrating in her pocket anyway, making her feel as if someone really needed to reach her.
When she got outside and felt she could check, caller ID indicated it was her father.
Gazing up at more stars than she’d ever seen in the sky before, she wandered around the campus as she spoke to him. Most of the students were away, at home if they had a home to go to, for a quick holiday before classes started in earnest, so the campus was quiet, especially this far from the outdoor basketball courts and the dorms.
“So are you going to like it there?” her father asked.
She tried to let the energy in his voice help lift the depression that had set in. “It’s definitely going to be a change.”
“A positive one, though, right?”
“Sure,” she said, kicking a small pebble across the sidewalk.
“Whoa. Is something wrong?”
“It’s just different, that’s all. I’m not used to smelling manure at night. Or seeing stars that shine so bright.”
“The manure can’t be pleasant, but the stars sound nice.”
“They are nice. And the manure isn’t all that bad, not if I stay away from the livestock pens. I guess it’s more that... I’m beginning to wonder what made me think I could handle teenage boys who have significant behavioral issues.” She’d mostly been thinking of her own emotional issues, not the responsibility she would feel to be a guiding light to teenage boys who’d lost their way. Was she bound to disappoint Aiyana and Elijah and let her students down?
She couldn’t abide the thought of failure.
“Don’t make it too complicated, babe,” her father said.
“In what way?”
“Everyone responds to love.”
“I have to do more than love them, Dad. I have to teach them. And what if they won’t let me?”
“If you love them, they’ll trust you. Love and trust come first. Then you’ll be able to teach. I promise you.”
She thought of Gary Seton. Maybe he had no “vision,” whatever Elijah meant by that. But she was willing to bet he’d be firmer when it came to meting out discipline. She didn’t want to punish anyone. “I’m not sure why these people hired me,” she grumbled.
“They must’ve seen what your mother and I see in you.”
“And that is...”
“You can do anything.”
Tears filled her eyes. She was tired, which made her emotional. But she was also experiencing a little culture shock, and she missed her family already. “Maybe I was a bit hasty making the decision to come here, Dad.”
“It’s only for a year, honey. Do your best. That’s all anyone can ask. And come see us when you can.”
She wiped her cheeks as she told him she loved him. But she felt even worse after she disconnected. She had good parents. The conversation she’d just had with her father proved it yet again. So why was she betraying them?
* * *
The moment she got back to her cottage, Cora went straight to bed. She had a lot of unpacking yet to do, but she figured that could wait. She needed sleep, knew it would help her cope with all the recent changes—as well as the uncertainty.
Fortunately, she felt a lot better when she woke up. She spent the morning unpacking the rest of her belongings and stacking the cardboard from the boxes in her SUV so she could take it to a recycling center. Then she decided to go into town to look around, have lunch and buy a few groceries. Someone—she guessed Aiyana since Aiyana had also been responsible for the flowers—had put a few essentials, like eggs, bread and milk, in her fridge, but the cupboards needed to be stocked.
Cora was halfway