The Midwife's Longed-For Baby. Caroline AndersonЧитать онлайн книгу.
* * *
Liv was tied up in a delivery for the afternoon, the nice straightforward labour of a woman having her sixth baby. She’d haemorrhaged after the last so she’d been admitted directly to the consultant-led unit with this one just in case, but so far everything was going fine.
Just as well, because Liv’s concentration was totally shot.
How could he have done that to her? Let her believe he’d betrayed her like that if he hadn’t? And why then, when she’d just found out that yet again she wasn’t pregnant, so she’d been at her most vulnerable? She’d spent over a year living with the bone-deep certainty that he’d been unfaithful to her, and now she didn’t know what to believe—
‘I need to push.’
‘OK, Karen. Nice and steady. That’s good.’
But Karen’s baby wasn’t going for nice and steady, and three minutes later, half an hour before the end of Liv’s shift, a lusty, squalling baby was delivered into her father’s waiting hands.
‘It’s a girl,’ he said, laughing and crying as he lay their daughter in his wife Karen’s outstretched arms. ‘Finally, it’s a girl!’
Liv’s eyes filled, and she had to blink away the tears as she gave Karen the oxytocin injection to help her uterus to contract down.
If this had been them, if she’d been able to give him a child, then maybe that would have been enough to keep him...
Liv checked the baby quickly as she lay in her mother’s arms, making sure that all was well, but the baby was lovely and pink, her pulse steady and strong, her skinny little arms and legs moving beautifully. She’d stopped crying now and was staring up at her mother, riveted by the first face she’d ever seen.
It was a beautiful moment, one Liv never tired of seeing, and she watched the two of them staring into each other’s eyes and falling in love and felt a familiar lump in her throat.
‘Apgar score ten at one minute,’ she said, her voice miraculously steady. ‘Congratulations. She’s lovely.’
She checked her again four minutes later, by which time the cord had stopped pulsating, so Liv clamped and cut it and handed the baby back to her mother.
‘I take it this is your first girl?’
Her father’s grin was wry. ‘Yes, so hopefully we can stop now. Six is getting a little crazy, but we did want a girl so we thought we’d have one last try.’
‘We may live to regret it when she hits puberty,’ Karen said with a laugh, her hands cradling the naked baby tenderly at her breast.
Liv laid a warm towel back over them both and tucked it round the baby. ‘She’ll be fine, and she’ll have all those big brothers to look after her. She’s latched on well,’ Liv added, struck yet again by the miracle of birth and the naturalness of this wonderful bond between mother and child. The bond she would never know...
‘Yes, and thank goodness I’ve never had any problems with feeding any of them,’ Karen said with a laugh. ‘There’s way too much to do in our house without sterilising bottles and making up feeds. Ooh, I can feel a contraction.’
‘OK, Karen, that’s good, you’re nearly done. Gentle push for me when you’re ready?’ she said calmly, but Liv felt her heart rate pick up, because this was the moment, as the placenta separated from the uterine wall, that the haemorrhage would happen, and she really, really didn’t feel ready for that.
Didn’t feel ready for any more stress today, and the last thing she needed was Nick striding in there to take over like the cavalry after he’d just destabilised her fragile status quo with that bombshell about Suzanne.
Concentrate!
The haemorrhage didn’t happen. To everyone’s huge relief, the placenta came away cleanly with hardly any blood loss, so after they’d sorted Karen out and Liv was happy that her uterus was contracting down well and that all was as it should be, she left the other midwife to fill out the notes and headed for the changing room, only an hour late.
Tomorrow was Saturday, and with any luck she wouldn’t run into Nick again today which meant she was unlikely to see him again until Monday. That would give her two clear days to get her emotions in order.
Except it didn’t, because she walked out of the lift at the bottom of the building and ran slap into him.
‘Sorry—’
She stepped hastily back, and they stood transfixed in awkward silence as the lift doors hissed shut behind her, cutting off her retreat.
‘I gather your delivery was all right?’ he asked, breaking the silence. ‘I’ve been on standby in case she haemorrhaged again.’
‘Oh—yes, it was fine, thanks. No problems. How’s Judy Richards?’
‘Settling in. I think I’ve reassured her.’ He paused, his eyes searching hers. ‘Look, Liv, are you done for the day?’
‘Yes,’ she said firmly, holding his eyes with a determined effort and clutching her coat in her arms like a shield. ‘And I’m going home.’
‘Can we talk?’
Her heart sank. ‘Again? Nick, there’s nothing you have to say that I need to hear. If there’s a shred of truth in what you said, you should have told me then, not saved it for now, and I really don’t want to discuss it. For heaven’s sake, just leave it. It’s not relevant any more anyway.’
She pushed past him and walked out of the door, but of course he couldn’t leave it, could he? She could barely hear his footsteps behind her but she knew he was there, his voice calling her name as she made her way across the car park, but it was almost drowned out by the pounding of her heart.
She dodged between the rows of cars, reached the kerb by the access road to the main car park and was about to cross it when she felt his hand on her arm.
‘Liv, please, let me talk to you. Give me a chance to explain.’
But she’d had enough to deal with already today, so she turned back to face him and shook her head. ‘No. I can’t do this now just to ease your guilty conscience, Nick, and I’m not going to. Please, just leave me alone!’
He caught her shoulders and held her. ‘Liv, I won’t take much of your time, but there’s something I need to tell you and you need to hear it—’
‘No! No, I don’t!’
She tried to spin away from him, but his grip suddenly tightened and he tried to pull her back.
‘Liv, no!’ he yelled, his voice urgent, but the urgency was lost on her as she wrenched her arm away and stumbled backwards off the kerb out of reach.
She saw the look of horror on his face, heard the blast of a horn, saw the car as it clipped her and sent her spinning, and then her head hit the ground and everything went black...
* * *
He watched helplessly as the car struck her, saw her fall, saw her head bouncing off the kerb as she came to rest just inches from the front wheel. The big SUV had ground to a halt and the driver stumbled out, other people ran towards them shouting, but his eyes were only for Liv.
She was lying motionless on the edge of the road like a broken doll, her head level with the front wheel, her feet partly under the car just inches from the rear wheel, and for a terrifying second he thought she was dead.
Her hair had tumbled over her face and he dropped to his knees beside her, sweeping the hair aside to check for a pulse in her neck, but his own heart was beating so hard he could scarcely feel hers and his breath jammed in his throat.
‘Liv? Liv, talk to me, for God’s sake!’
He found a pulse and dragged in a breath, digging out the doctor instead of the lover, running