By Request Collection Part 2. Natalie AndersonЧитать онлайн книгу.
deck.
‘Hello, Emelia,’ Javier said.
She set her mouth and moved past him to open the door. ‘You had better leave before I call the police,’ she said, stabbing the keys into the lock.
He stepped closer. ‘We need to talk.’
She tried not to shrink away from his towering presence. ‘You can say whatever you want to say via my lawyer.’
‘That is not the way I do things, Emelia, or at least not this time around. I made that mistake before. I won’t be making it again. This time it is face to face until we work this out.’
Emelia tried to block him from following her inside but he put one foot inside the door. ‘If you don’t want to be visiting a podiatrist for the rest of your life, I suggest you take your foot out the doorway.’
He took hold of the door, his eyes challenging hers in a heated duel she knew she would never win. ‘We can discuss this out here or we can discuss it inside,’ he said in an implacable tone. ‘I am not leaving until this is sorted out, one way or the other.’
Emelia let the door go and stalked inside. She tossed her beach bag on the floor of the marbled foyer and, hands on hips, faced him. ‘How did you find me?’ she asked.
‘Your father gave me the address.’
Her eyes flared with outrage. ‘My father?’ She clenched her hands into fists. ‘Why, that doublecrossing, lying cheat. I knew I shouldn’t have fallen for that stupid father-daughter reunion thing. I should have known he would take sides with you. What a jerk.’
‘He loves you, Emelia,’ Javier said. ‘He’s always loved you but he’s not good at showing it, much less saying it.’
Her hands went to her hips again. ‘So now you’re the big expert on relationships,’ she said. ‘Well, bully for you.’
‘He wants you to be happy.’
‘I’m perfectly happy.’ She put up her chin. ‘In fact, I’ve never been happier.’
‘You look tired and far too thin.’
She rolled her eyes. ‘You’re not looking so hot yourself, big guy.’
‘That’s because I can’t sleep without you.’
Something flickered in her eyes. ‘I’m sure you will find someone to take my place, if you haven’t already.’
He shook his head at her. ‘You don’t get it, do you?’
She stood her ground, reminding him of a small terrier in a stand-off with a Rottweiler. ‘What am I supposed to get? I understand why you married me, Javier. I’ve always understood. I was an idiot to agree to it, but that’s what people who are blinded by love do, stupid, stupid things. But things are different now. I left you before but the accident put things on hold. This time I am determined to go through with it. It’s over, Javier. Our marriage is over.’
Javier swallowed the restriction in his throat. ‘I don’t want a divorce.’
She visibly stiffened. ‘What did you say?’
‘You heard me, querida.’
She screwed up her face in a scowl. ‘Don’t call me that.’
‘Mi amor.’
Her eyes flashed at him angrily. ‘That’s an even bigger lie. I am not your love. I have never been and never will be. I can handle it, you know. I get it, finally. Some men just can’t love another person. They hate being vulnerable. It’s the way they are wired. It can’t be changed.’
‘On the contrary, I think it can be changed,’ Javier said. ‘I have changed. I am prepared to let myself be vulnerable. I love you so much but I refused to admit it before in case it was snatched away from me. I have been lying to myself for all this time. Well, maybe not lying—more protecting myself, just as you described. I have always held something back in case I was let down.’
She stood so still and so silent, as if she had stopped breathing.
He took a breath and continued. ‘I think I have always loved you, the real you, Emelia. You don’t have to be stick-thin and done up like a supermodel to make my heart leap in my throat. You do that just by waking up beside me with pillow creases on your cheeks and blurry eyes and fighting off a cold.’
Emelia swallowed. Was she dreaming? Was she hearing what she wanted to hear instead of what he was actually saying? That happened sometimes. She had heard of it. She had done it herself, talked herself into thinking she had heard things, just because she hoped and hoped and hoped someone would say them…
‘I have shut off my emotions for most of my life,’ he said. ‘Saying I love you is something I saw as a weakness. I guess I have seen any vulnerability as a weakness. That is probably why you felt you couldn’t tell me when you weren’t feeling well. I blame myself for that. I should have known. I should have looked out for you. Even Izabella has pointed it out to me, how closed off I am.’
‘I’m not sure what this has to do with me now…’ she said uncertainly.
‘It has everything to do with you, cariño,’ he said softly. ‘I have loved you from the first moment you smiled at me. I can even remember the day. It was our first date. Do you remember it? Please tell me you haven’t forgotten it. I would hate for you not to remember the one moment that has defined my life from then on.’
Emelia gave a small nod, her breath still locked in her throat. ‘I remember.’
‘You looked at me across the table at that restaurant and smiled at something I said. It was like an arrow had pierced my heart, just like Cupid’s bow. I didn’t know what had hit me. I hated feeling so out of control.’
She summoned up a frown, not quite willing to let go just yet. ‘Your father’s will,’ she said. ‘You can’t deny that it had something to do with why we married in such a rush. You should have told me about it from the start. Finding out the way I did really hurt me. I felt so used.’
He pushed his hand through his hair. ‘I didn’t even know about my father’s will until I had been seeing you for over a month. I had never considered myself the marrying kind. I had seen the way my father had ruined three women’s lives. I didn’t want to do that. I guess that’s why he wrote his will that way. It was just the sort of sick joke he would have liked—to force me to do something I didn’t want to do. Prior to being involved with you, I had always kept all of my relationships on a casual basis.’
His expression twisted with remorse as he continued. ‘I should have told you everything about that damned will. Instead, I let Claudine get her claws in. The thing is, I didn’t want my father’s money for myself. I wanted Izabella to have what was rightly hers and I didn’t want to lose you. Marriage seemed a good way of keeping both things secure.’
She still looked at him doubtfully. ‘I don’t think I can cope with living at the villa any longer. I know it’s beautiful and grand and all that but it’s way too formal for me. I feel like I am going to get roused on for bumping into things or if something breaks.’
He came over to where she was standing, stopping just in front of her. ‘The villa needs to be a home instead of a showpiece,’ he said. ‘I can see that now. No wonder you never felt at ease there. That is another thing I should have realised. It needs a woman’s touch—your touch—to make it the home it should always have been. Aldana has decided to retire. I have been a fool not to realise how difficult she made things for you. She didn’t speak to the press—apparently, that was one of the junior gardeners—but she told me about the roses. She feels very remorseful about how she treated you. I should have told you myself why I hate having them in the house.’
She looked at him with a searching gaze. ‘Did I know that before the accident?’
He brushed