Welcome to Mills & Boon. Jennifer RaeЧитать онлайн книгу.
if she couldn’t have children?’ There was something behind Helena’s eyes as she spoke, something he’d have missed if he hadn’t been watching so closely. Was she trying to tell him something? He really hoped not.
‘Then we’d figure something out. IVF or surrogacy. Adoption, maybe.’ As a last resort. If he ever had to adopt, though, he’d do it differently. It would be about giving another lost child the sort of chances he’d had—but without the baggage. Not about what that child could give him.
‘What if she fell in love with someone else?’
‘Then she’d probably run away with him on our wedding morning.’ A joke, but only just.
Helena rolled her eyes. ‘I mean after the wedding.’
‘Then we’d have...’ The thought had never really occurred to him. The marriage was such an escape for both of them, to put them in a position where they didn’t have to take the risk of love, that he couldn’t imagine either of them looking for it outside of their union. ‘We’d have talked about it. Sorted something out.’
‘Like we’re talking now,’ Helena said. ‘And since you’re married to me, not her, I suppose we need to make some decisions about these things.’
And there it was. Everything he wanted, needed and he hadn’t even had to ask for it. By the time Henry arrived with the new marriage contract, she’d be ready to sign, Flynn was sure of it.
‘Just when I was celebrating our story for being different,’ she said with a sigh.
He could afford to give her a little ground now, Flynn decided. He wanted her to be happy, after all. ‘What did you like best about our story?’
‘Oh, I don’t know. The...immediacy of it, I guess. That we got married on a moment’s notice, without all that paperwork and advance planning. If we were actually in love, it would be the most romantic thing ever. As it is...I guess it wasn’t incredibly sensible.’
‘Maybe not,’ Flynn allowed. ‘But I like to think it can work.’
‘Yeah?’ She’d finished eating, Flynn realised, and pushed her plate aside. The bottle of wine was almost empty too.
Maybe it was the wine that gave him the confidence to say, ‘I want with you everything I ever wanted with Thea. Maybe even more. I want us to have a real marriage, and I hope that we will fall in love. But I need to know that you’ll stick with it. That you’ll give us a chance.’
Helena’s bluebell eyes were wide and he could see the indecision in them, even if he couldn’t fathom her reasons for holding back. She worried her lower lip with her teeth for a moment, and Flynn realised he was actually holding his breath. Waiting for his own wife to tell him she wanted to be married to him.
How had it come to this?
‘I will,’ Helena said eventually, so soft he almost didn’t hear. Then she added, stronger this time, ‘Yes, Flynn Ashton, I will stay married to you.’
This time, Flynn was pretty sure it was relief, rather than the wine, that caused his words. ‘In that case, let’s get out of here. I’ve got the perfect way to celebrate.’
A spur-of-the-moment idea, spontaneous and romantic—she was going to love it.
And suddenly that mattered an awful lot to him.
* * *
Flynn didn’t let go of her hand all the way out to the car. Helena couldn’t decide if the feel of his fingers wrapped around hers was comforting or terrifying.
What had she just done?
The whole idea was to stay married long enough to negate any scandal then get out, quick—preferably before Flynn discovered anything about her history that might ruin their friendship forever. Exes could be friends as long as they didn’t screw up the marriage—or each other—too badly.
But now...now she was promising to stay with him? To try and fall in love—as if that were even a thing people could do—and have a real life—a family!—with him. Everything she’d been avoiding for years.
As Flynn shut the car door after her, letting go of her hand long enough to whisper something to the driver before getting in the other side, Helena closed her eyes and let her head fall back.
Why? What had possessed her to do it?
Well, that one was probably easy enough. Guilt more than anything. Hearing Flynn talk so honestly about what he wanted from this marriage and why... How could she not want to give him that? To give him a place in their family. To give him the one thing he’d always needed most and never had—a place to belong.
Maybe it was partly a decade-old crush, partly that he’d always been a friend to her. But a large chunk of it, she knew, had to do with a tiny baby girl she’d never even been allowed to hold.
Flynn could never find out about the daughter she’d given away. He’d never understand. And if he wanted a family...well, he’d said himself that he’d consider surrogacy, or even adoption. He hadn’t sounded thrilled at the idea, but still. Maybe she’d never even have to explain how the idea of another child growing inside her made her feel physically sick and her body start to shake.
Maybe he’d never need to know what she’d done.
Or maybe, just maybe, he’d understand. Not immediately, of course—she was under no illusion about that. But he wanted this marriage, wanted real love to grow between them.
Maybe all she needed to do was to build a relationship strong enough to withstand the truth, when it finally came out. Not an easy task, admittedly. But maybe not completely impossible.
‘You okay over there?’ Flynn asked, and when she opened her eyes he was leaning across the middle seat in the back of the car, looking at her.
She forced a smile. ‘I’m fine. Where are we going?’
‘It’s a surprise.’ Flynn sat back, looking smug. ‘A spontaneous, unplanned, romantic surprise.’
‘That your PA planned?’ she guessed.
But Flynn shook his head. ‘Nope. This one is all me. And I think you’re going to love it.’
She probably would, Helena thought. It seemed that Flynn Ashton could convince her of whatever he set his mind to. And she couldn’t deny the spark of pleasure that Flynn doing something off schedule, just for her, gave her.
She didn’t realise where they were going until the car started over the bridge into the town nearest their villa. She’d been there before with Thea, had planned to come back and do some shopping herself. But she still couldn’t imagine what Flynn planned for them to do there.
Maybe they were checking into a hotel. Maybe he’d decided to celebrate their new arrangement by consummating their marriage and didn’t want to do it in the bed he was supposed to have shared with her sister.
Helena glanced over at Flynn. He didn’t look like a man anticipating having sex within the hour. And, if she was honest, he didn’t seem like the type to drag her off to a hotel without discussing it first.
One thing she’d learned in less than a week of marriage—her husband liked to talk things through. Who knew?
The car pulled into a row of parking spaces right by the central piazza and the driver opened her door. Helena stepped out, just as Flynn arrived to take her hand again.
‘Now can you tell me?’ she asked, but he shook his head.
‘Soon,’ he promised. Tugging on her hand, he led her across the piazza, towards a little side street, dodging cars speeding round corners and pedestrians too busy talking on their phones to look where they were going. The air smelled of strong coffee and sunshine, and it was almost enough for Helena to put all her worries aside.
The shade of the side street soothed her