Modern Romance June 2019 Books 1-4. Кейт ХьюитЧитать онлайн книгу.
too proud and stubborn to listen.’
‘It is a challenge for one generation to understand what drives the next. It was years before I could appreciate that in demanding that I marry a woman he chose my father was only asking me to do what he had done himself.’
‘But you were in love with someone else,’ Zoe reminded him. ‘You couldn’t possibly have married another woman and made a success of it. You would’ve been full of bitterness and resentment.’
‘My father believes that in our privileged position emotions cannot be allowed to make our decisions for us. I learned the hard way that he was correct,’ Raj completed with a harsh edge to his voice.
‘You still have to tell me about you and Nabila,’ Zoe told him.
‘I thought women didn’t like a man to talk about previous affairs,’ Raj countered in surprise, shooting her a disconcerted glance.
‘I’d have to be in love with you to mind that sort of thing and all jealous and possessive and I’m not,’ Zoe pointed out calmly. ‘I’m just being nosy.’
Raj nodded, although the concept shook him because he was unconsciously accustomed to women wanting more from him than he was willing to give, which was why his sensual past consisted of more fleeting encounters than anything else. ‘I studied business at one of the Gulf state universities. That’s where I met her. Have you ever been in love?’ he heard himself ask with astonishing abruptness, but he was, without warning, equally curious.
‘No, not even close,’ Zoe admitted tightly. ‘What happened to me at twelve put me off trying to have a relationship with a man, and then I watched my sisters fall in love and didn’t fancy it for myself. There seems to be a lot of angst and drama involved and I’m not into either. So you met Nabila at uni?’
‘We were together for two years. I fell hard for her,’ Raj bit out grudgingly, while wondering what superhuman qualities it would take to make Zoe fall in love with a man, and then his thoughts became even more tangled because he questioned why he was even thinking along that line. Was it exposure to Zoe? His cousin, Omar, had confided that following his marriage he’d found himself thinking weird thoughts, more like a woman, and that constant female company had that effect on the average man. Raj had to shake his head to clear it and he couldn’t grasp how such random ruminations were arising in his usually logical brain.
‘Obviously,’ Zoe conceded. ‘I mean, you weren’t likely to defy your father’s command for anything less...so you lived together for two years?’
‘No, such intimacy was out of the question. If I expected my father to take my wish to marry Nabila seriously, it had to be non-sexual,’ Raj proffered curtly. ‘He would not have respected anything else.’
Zoe stopped dead and gazed up at him in wonderment. ‘Are you saying you didn’t sleep with her?’
‘Of course, I didn’t. My bride had to have an unsullied reputation. It would’ve been disrespectful to ask my father to countenance any other kind of relationship. He is from a different generation. He does not understand female liberation. In his day a woman’s main claim to fame was her purity and a decent woman didn’t give it up for anything less than a wedding ring.’
‘Gosh, I was cheap,’ his bride chipped in, her face suddenly on fire. ‘Because as you pointed out, we’re not really married in the truest sense of the word.’
‘You weren’t cheap,’ Raj breathed as the museum custodian nervously watched their progress round the exhibits from the other side of the room. Long fingers stroked down her face and lingered below her chin to lift it. ‘You were totally incredible and I was unworthy of the gift.’
‘That’s just flannel,’ Zoe informed him, her face warming even more as she connected with brilliant dark eyes that sent butterflies fluttering in her tummy. ‘We did what we did because we wanted to.’
‘And every time I look at you,’ Raj confided thickly, ‘I want to do it again.’
‘You were telling me about Nabila,’ Zoe reminded him doggedly, tiny tingles of arousal coursing through her slight taut length while she fought to suppress those untimely urges. ‘Not trying to turn me into a sex maniac.’
‘Could I?’ Raj asked in a roughened undertone, those gorgeous eyes pinned to her with a feverish intensity that scorched.
‘It’s possible,’ she downplayed in haste. ‘Nabila?’
‘She told me she was a virgin because she probably assumed that that was what I wanted to hear. But it wasn’t, I wouldn’t have cared,’ Raj admitted ruefully. ‘So naturally I respected what she told me and I was prepared to wait until we were man and wife, but she got bored.’
‘Hard to be set on a pedestal and to pretend to be something you’re not,’ Zoe put in thoughtfully.
‘Yes, I did have her on a pedestal.’ Raj grimaced. ‘I was very idealistic at the age of twenty.’
‘You were too young for that size of a commitment,’ Zoe commented. ‘What happened?’
‘I refused to give her up and my father exiled me. It was my final visit and I left Maraban in a hurry. Nabila had given me a key to her apartment and my sudden return was unexpected. That was when I found her in bed with one of her so-called friends. It was clearly a long-standing arrangement and what an idiot I felt!’ Raj relived, his superb cheekbones rigid. ‘I had surrendered everything for her and there she was, the absolute antithesis of the woman I believed her to be—a shameless cheat and a liar, who only wanted me for my status!’
‘And your body, probably,’ Zoe told him abstractedly, winning a startled sidewise scrutiny. ‘You must’ve been devastated. I’m lucky. I’ve never been hurt like that, don’t want to be either.’
Raj stared down into her beautiful expressive face and wondered why it was so very easy to talk to her about Nabila, whom he had never discussed with anyone before. It was because she didn’t have a personal stake in their marriage, at least not one that he understood, because from what he had observed her new royal status and the awe it inspired meant precious little to her. ‘The meet and greet downstairs starts in thirty minutes. You can put on the skyscraper heels if you must.’
‘If I must?’ Zoe queried, slinging him a look of annoyance.
‘You struggle to walk in very high heels,’ Raj pointed out bluntly.
‘Because I never went out anywhere until I came to Maraban. I had this fabulous collection of gorgeous shoes and my sisters borrowed them and I never got to wear them until now,’ Zoe told him hotly. ‘I’ll learn to walk in them!’
‘Obviously,’ Raj countered, realising that he had been tactless in the extreme. ‘But why didn’t you go out anywhere?’
‘I panicked if men came onto me, couldn’t handle it,’ she confided reluctantly. ‘But you don’t do that to me for some reason.’
‘Maybe because you’re not falling for me,’ Raj suggested glibly, while cherishing the obvious fact that she felt safer and more protected in his company.
‘Yes, that could well be it,’ Zoe responded cheerfully as she slid her feet into her high heels while leaning on both his arm and a door handle to balance. ‘You wouldn’t believe how much more confident I feel standing a few inches taller.’
Watching her sip coffee and smilingly chat by his side only minutes later, Raj decided it had nothing to do with the stupid shoes. He remembered their first meeting and her panic attack and marvelled at how much she had already changed. He had merely met her at a bad moment in a scenario that would have frightened any woman, he recognised. His fingers splayed across her spine and he concealed a grin, thinking about the scratches on his back, badges of pride for a man who knew he had satisfied his woman. Not his woman, he immediately corrected himself. Well, she sort of was his for the present, an acceptance that somehow lightened the cloud threatening