Forbidden: A Shade Darker – The Complete Collection. Leslie KellyЧитать онлайн книгу.
he mused, deflecting the topic back to her. “That since we were a secret, it was like tempting fate. Do you think that’s what it is now, too?”
“I haven’t really given it that much thought, to be honest. It’s just a fun thing to do. Does it have to have any deeper meaning?”
“I guess you’re right.”
What had been a fun bit of sex was suddenly heavy and uncomfortable. Erin didn’t want to psychoanalyze her sex life or his, and if she did, she’d see a shrink.
“For what it’s worth, if there’s anything you want to do that you haven’t told me, I’d be willing to try.”
She wanted to change the mood between them, and erase the distance that had somehow grown between them.
“That’s good to know.”
Frustrated and starting to get irritated, she walked to the door, shoving her hands into her pockets.
“Okay, well...I’d better get going before there’s a revolt.”
She was out the door and down the stairs before he could reply, still annoyed. Whether she wanted to think about it or not, now her mind wouldn’t let go of what he’d said.
Was there any merit to Bo’s thoughts that she had wanted them to get caught? Why? To make their relationship public or to make it impossible? If they had been caught, would that have pushed them closer or made their breakup even more imminent?
Or was it simply a fun way to have sex that she found particularly exciting?
She headed to the kitchen to grab her purse when another surprise assailed her. Erin couldn’t be sure, but as she went into the kitchen, she could have sworn she saw Hank remove his hand from her sister’s bottom.
Blinking, she was sure she must be seeing things.
“Erin!” Kit exclaimed, turning pink, though Erin supposed it could have been the exertion of the work she was doing up on the stepladder.
Erin looked at Hank, who was studying the wall he was painting very closely, and she shook her head. Maybe Hank had been steadying Kit on the ladder?
That made more sense. Knowing what she knew about her sister, no way would Kit ever have interest in a firefighter. Though Kit seemed tense lately, too, and worried. Erin had made a few attempts at getting her to talk, but Kit wasn’t sharing.
“I’m going for dinner. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“If you can pick up some cupcakes at Harrison’s, that’s all I ask,” Kit said.
Erin laughed. “I can do that. I love how this is looking,” she said, taking in the bright kitchen and white trim. “I’ll probably have to have this floor replaced, too. Not right away, though.”
“Hardwood is always good,” Kit said, and both sisters swung their gazes to Hank as he suddenly was caught by an attack of coughing.
“Sorry, swallowed my soda the wrong way,” he said, clearing his throat and turning back to his work.
“Okay, well, I’ll return shortly. Thanks for all the help, you guys. This doesn’t even look like the same house. Next we’ll have to do the outside,” she added as she left the kitchen, smiling at their groans of objection.
But as lighthearted as she came off, Bo’s comments and her promise to perhaps experiment with him resurfaced as she drove. They were supposed to be reenacting her past, not trying new things, right? But then again, if it was something he really wanted—something she had denied him before—it was related to their past. So why wouldn’t he tell her? Maybe he was telling the truth, and there wasn’t anything. Maybe she was imagining that he wasn’t sharing what he really wanted.
Or maybe he’d done that, and she was unreceptive? Or maybe it took a level of trust that they didn’t share.
She might never know. Time was getting shorter, and if her memory didn’t come back—what then? Bo would be gone, and she would be right where she started, except that now she’d know what a good thing she’d let go.
* * *
BO LOOKED UP as Erin appeared in his office door the next day. He wanted to give her a kiss hello, not worry about anyone finding out about them—what did it matter now? He’d accepted the task-force job, and he was out of here in under a month.
But instead, he said hello and gestured to her to sit down.
“Thanks for coming down here.”
“Sure. What’s going on?”
“I have some news. They’re going to start demo on the arson site—yours—tomorrow.”
“Oh. Yes, you mentioned that before.”
“I wondered if you’d visit the building with me. Take a look before it’s gone. I know you went down once before, and nothing came back to you. You also found it upsetting then. Do you think you’re okay to go now?”
She took a second to consider. “Yeah, I think it would be fine. I don’t know that it will make any difference, but I think I can handle it. I think the time that’s passed has helped. When I went, I was just out of the hospital, and I was pretty raw back then.”
“If you’re up to it, then, maybe we can stop by the second site, too.”
“The second fire?”
“Yes. I want to walk you through a few things. See if anything pops for you. There could be commonalities or something you might notice that we didn’t. It’s a long shot, but it’s worth trying.”
“I don’t know what I could find. I have no connection to that one.”
“You never know. You tagged along with me a few times when I was training for arson investigation, as an interested observer. You showed some skill, too—you have a good eye for investigation. But maybe going over there now that you have some distance will make something pop.”
“I can definitely try.”
“Great. So, we can take the afternoon to do that, and maybe go somewhere after?”
Erin paused, and then met his gaze. “Sure. We could probably stay around here. I mean, I don’t think it’s a big deal if anyone sees us. No one seemed to think twice about you coming over to help with the house the other day.”
“You invited everyone at the department who wanted to help.”
Still, his heart—and his hopes—rose at her notion that it didn’t matter if people saw them together. He would have given his left arm to hear her say that six months ago.
“I don’t think we have to worry. We’re out visiting the sites, so that can be our excuse.”
Her words brought him back down to earth. “Yeah, but we’ll take my truck and come back for your car later. So it’s clear that it’s just business. Not personal.”
He wasn’t sure if he caught a slight flinch as he said that, but she agreed and stood, walking ahead of him out of the office.
Things had been tense between them since their discussion at the house, and Bo hoped this went well. It seemed as if Erin’s memories were there, but being with him was only triggering relationship memories. And that was triggering all kinds of other complex emotions.
She’d wanted him to share more about his desires at the house, but he couldn’t do it. Not when they didn’t have a future. What was the point? In truth, he had expressed a few secret fantasies back when they were together, but Erin had been uncomfortable with it because it meant she had to give up control. She had to trust him completely.
And apparently she didn’t. Bo had no desire to tread over that territory again. They had to stay clear on the real reason they were doing this and see if they could rouse memories about the fire. That was the goal.
There’d