Her Lieutenant Protector. Lara LacombeЧитать онлайн книгу.
sounded hesitant, as if she was afraid of saying the wrong thing. “I don’t understand.”
Everest sighed and met her eyes for the first time. “We both know you didn’t sign up for this.” He gestured at the bed, his hand sweeping down to indicate his missing limb. “I can tell you don’t want to be here. Not really. You should go. Find someone whole. Someone who can make you happy.”
“You don’t mean that.” But there was doubt in her voice, along with something else. Hope.
In that moment, he knew he was doing the right thing. Leah was nothing if not loyal. She’d stick with him; that much he knew. But she would hate it. And eventually, she’d grow to resent him for it. He didn’t want that kind of life, that kind of marriage. Better for her to leave now, before the cement of these new circumstances hardened around them.
“I do. I want you to leave.” It was the truth. The war had changed him, and she was no longer the woman for him. It wasn’t her fault—it wasn’t anyone’s fault. In the weeks since he’d been back, he’d tried to find the man he’d used to be inside the man he was now. But that wasn’t going to happen, and it was time to end things so Leah could move on with her life. God knew he wanted to do the same.
She shook her head. “I can’t do that.”
He was going to have to push her, then. Fine. He could do that. “Why? Because you don’t want to be the girl who dumped a cripple?”
She flinched but didn’t respond. Ah, he’d hit the nail on the head.
“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “Just tell everyone I walked out on you. I still have my good leg, after all.”
It was a bad joke, and she didn’t laugh. “Are you sure?” she said softly.
Everest felt a little jolt at the realization she wasn’t going to put up much of a fight. Wasn’t their relationship worth more than a moment’s deliberation? But he quickly pushed the hurt aside. He was giving her an out. He couldn’t be angry with her for taking it, especially when it was what he wanted her to do.
“I’m positive. I want you to be happy.” And he did. He’d once thought they would grow old together, but now he knew their time had ended. It was just as well. He’d rather be alone than be faced with the evidence of her growing unhappiness. And the last thing he wanted was to be a burden to the people in his life.
Leah was never going to look at him the same way again. She tried to hide it, but he could tell that every time she saw him, she compared him with a memory of when he was whole and uninjured. He couldn’t live up to the ghost of his former self, and he didn’t want to spend the rest of his life trying.
“I don’t know what to say.” Her eyes glimmered with unshed tears—of happiness? Or was she truly sorry about the way things had worked out? Hopefully the latter. He liked to think the woman he’d planned his life with would at least mourn the death of their future. But maybe she simply felt relieved.
“You don’t have to say anything,” he told her gently. “Goodbye is traditional, but not required.”
“Why are you doing this?” She frowned at him, her features twisting in confusion. “I don’t understand.”
Everest ran a hand over his head, distracted by the feel of his hair against his palm. He hadn’t had a haircut in weeks. One of the perks of being in the hospital, he supposed.
“Do you want to stay?”
Leah blinked at him, as if he’d asked the question in a foreign language. “What?”
“Do you actually want to stay here?” he repeated. “Do you really want to deal with my recovery and all that it entails? It’s going to be a long, drawn-out process. And we both know I’m not the same man I was before, mentally speaking.” He paused, letting his words sink in. “The war changed me, Leah. I’m still figuring out how. I just don’t think we’re the right people for each other anymore.”
She sighed, her shoulders slumping as the breath left her body. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered. “I thought I could handle it...” She trailed off, shaking her head. “But it’s too hard. I don’t think I can do it.”
“You don’t have to.”
“How can you be so nice about it? Why aren’t you angry with me?”
Everest searched his heart for an answer that would make sense, but came up empty. “I don’t think I have the energy for that right now.”
She stared at him, her blue eyes wide as she digested his response. Finally, she nodded. “Okay.”
He tried to smile, but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. Leah stood and gathered her sweater and purse. She twisted the ring off her finger and held it out to him. He hesitated a moment, then took it from her and placed it in the drawer of his bedside table. “I guess this is goodbye?” she asked.
“Looks like it,” he confirmed.
Leah leaned over his bed and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. “Promise me you’ll take care of yourself?”
Everest felt like he was having an out-of-body experience. This situation was so strange—they were breaking up, and yet he still cared about her and she still cared about him. Maybe this is how adults end things, he mused. All his previous experiences had been full of hurt feelings and a few tears. It was a novelty for him to end a relationship on such a positive note.
“I’ll be fine,” he assured her. He didn’t know if it was the truth, but he knew that’s what she needed to hear right now.
She straightened and tucked her hair behind her ear again. It was a nervous gesture, something she did when she was feeling uncertain or uncomfortable.
She didn’t know how to leave, he realized. And he didn’t know what to tell her to ease the way.
He was saved by the entrance of Scott, his physical therapist. The man charged in wearing a big grin, but stopped short when he saw Leah standing by the bed. “Oh, excuse me,” Scott said, taking a step back. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
“You didn’t,” Everest said. “It’s okay.”
“I was just leaving,” Leah said. She gave Everest a small smile and squeezed his hand. “Have a good session,” she said.
He nodded, and she turned to go, nodding at Scott as she slipped past him and out the door.
Scott was silent for a few seconds after she left. “Please tell me I did not see what I think I just saw.”
“Depends,” Everest said lightly. “What do you think you saw?”
Scott rocked back and forth on his heels, clearly uncomfortable. “I know this is none of my business,” he began, “but did you two just break up?”
“How’d you guess?”
Scott’s face fell. “Oh, man. I’m so sorry.” He walked to the bed and perched on the side of the mattress. “Do you, uh, want to talk about it? I can get a psychologist or something if you don’t want to talk to me.”
Everest shook his head, touched at the other man’s concern. “I’m okay. But thanks.”
Scott looked at him dubiously, clearly doubting his words. “Really. It’s fine,” Everest assured him. “It’s for the best. She wasn’t happy. I wasn’t happy. It was time to end things.”
Scott snorted. “No one is happy to be here.”
“Except you,” Everest said slyly. He appreciated Scott’s efforts to help, but he didn’t want to wallow in the aftermath of Leah’s departure. He’d thought now that he was back in the States the war couldn’t take any more from him. But he was wrong. It was time to move forward, to reclaim some control over his life.
The physical therapist grinned. “Well,