The Texan's Secret Daughter. Jolene NavarroЧитать онлайн книгу.
she couldn’t keep his daughter from him. “Jazz? Eleven thirty tomorrow?”
She gave the slightest jerk of her head. “Elijah, you have to know this is hard for me. My last memories of you are... Well, they don’t reassure my maternal fears. You’ve had years of being sober, but in my heart it all just happened.”
The tension was back. “You really think I would hurt our child? That I would hurt any kid?” He wasn’t that messed up.
Staying steady and calm was more important than his tattered pride. In the last five years, he had learned to listen and to wait before responding. It took time to process information and...ugh, feelings.
Even thinking the word to himself made him feel like an idiot. It was hard to completely erase his uncle’s words from his mind. Crybaby. Worthless. Weak. Waste of space. How could a dead man still taunt him?
His uncle had spouted nothing but hatred and lies. He knew that now. But it was still hard not to get lost in the black hole of doubt that swirled in his brain whenever life hit him with an unexpected hailstorm.
In God’s eyes, he was worthy of love. He was a child of God. That’s what his sister, Belle, and his friend Miguel told him anyway, and if he was going to believe a lie, it was better to go with that one.
What did he know? One fact that was drilled into the smallest fiber of his being was that he would do whatever it took to have his daughter in his life. He didn’t want to cause her any embarrassment or give her any reason not to claim him as her dad. Dad. He closed his eyes. He was someone’s dad.
Daughter. Wow. He was prepared to face any of the consequences his drinking brought to his door, or so he thought. This, he had not seen coming. He opened his eyes and studied his ex-wife.
She was staring out over the water. She hadn’t answered him, or he hadn’t heard her.
“I wouldn’t. You know that, right? I’d never hurt someone weaker than me.”
“No. Not intentionally. But when you’re drunk, your impulses and—”
“Which is why I don’t drink anymore.” Was he ever going to truly get away from his past? “Jazz, I know words aren’t enough. Earning your trust is a task I’m up for. Let me show you.”
Lips tight, she nodded. “That’s why you’re coming over. Rosemarie also needs time to get to know you.” She looked at the sailboat outlined with cords of white patio lights, its reflection slowly dancing on the water as laughter floated through the air. Looking back at him, her eyes shimmered. “We’ll see you tomorrow at 11:30.”
Her face might have the grimmest expression, but he wanted to lift her up and swing her around. It had been a long time since he just wanted to laugh. She used to give him that. And then he had destroyed her light, pitching them both into darkness.
Now he had another opportunity. Lunch with his daughter was now on his agenda.
And just like that, the fear was back.
What if he messed this up? What if she didn’t like him? He was a stranger to her. He twisted the leather at his wrist and repeated the words from his recent meditation verse, from John 14:27. He had needed an extra one today. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
He needed to let the fear move on, through and out.
She stood, seemingly unaware of the turbulent sea of his emotions. “Now that we have that settled, I need to go home. I’ll see you tomorrow. Mom will have Daddy at PT, so it will just be the three of us.”
Pushing back the chair, he got to his feet and pulled out his business card. As he held it out, his work-hardened hands grazed her soft skin. The instinct to put her hand to his lips had to be locked down tight. “My personal cell is written on the back. If you don’t want to go through my lawyer, let me know whatever you need.”
“Thanks.”
He wanted to keep her here longer, but couldn’t think of any way to do it without kidnapping her. That wouldn’t help with the trust issues. “I’ll see y’all tomorrow. Do I need to bring anything?”
She swung the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “Just yourself.”
He wanted to ask her if he would be enough, but he stopped himself. Did he really want to know the truth?
As they walked to the exit, the singer started to cover “Just the Way You Are.” Jazmine jerked her head up to his, her eyes wide. “Did you—”
“No.” The words to their song swirled around him. “Just a coincidence.” Possibly a very cruel one. The memory of holding her while they slow-danced flooded his mind, and his body didn’t seem to notice the time difference. He was there with her. Back when she still loved him. More importantly, she had trusted him.
Lips tight, she turned from him. “Bye. We’ll see you tomorrow.”
His eyes followed her until she vanished from his sight. He needed to take some sort of gift. There wasn’t a thing about him that would make an impression on a five, almost six-year-old girl. His five, almost six-year-old girl. What did little girls like?
Pulling his phone out, he called his sister. It was time to let his family know. Belle was obsessive about family sticking together. He wasn’t sure if she was going to be more upset with him or with Jazmine and her parents. Either way he was in for a lecture about family.
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