Steel Resolve. B.J. DanielsЧитать онлайн книгу.
He nodded to himself as he stopped to look out the motel room window at the heat waves rising off desert floor and yearned for Montana. “Still I hate to think she might have done this on purpose because of me.”
“She wasn’t right in the head. Anyway, it was probably an accident. I’m sorry to call with this kind of news, but I thought you’d want to know. Once your pickup’s fixed you’ll be heading out and putting all of this behind you. Still thinking about going to Colorado? You know I’d love to have you back.”
No reason not to tell him now. “I’m headed home as soon as the pickup’s fixed, but thanks again for the offer.”
“Home to Montana? You really never got over this woman, huh.”
“No, I never did.” He realized that when he thought of home, it was Mary he thought of. Her and the Gallatin Canyon. “It’s where I grew up. Where I first fell in love.”
“Well, I wish you luck. I hope it goes well.”
“Thanks. If you hear anything else about Fiona—”
“I’ll keep it to myself.”
“No, call me. I really didn’t know the woman. But I care about what happened to her.” He thought of the first night he’d seen her, all dressed up in that dark suit and looking so strong and capable. And the other times when she’d stopped by his apartment looking as if she’d just come home from spring break and acting the part. “It was like she was always changing before my eyes. I never knew who she was. I’m not sure she did.”
He and Rick said goodbye again. Disconnecting, he pocketed his phone. He couldn’t help wondering about Fiona’s last moments underwater inside her car. Did she know how to swim? He had no idea. Was it too deep for her to reach the surface? Or had she been swept away?
Chase felt sad, but he knew there was no way he could have helped her. She wanted a man committed to her, and she deserved it. But as he’d told her that first night, he wasn’t that man.
If only he had known how broken and damaged she was. He would have given her a wide berth. He should have anyway, and now he blamed himself for his moment of weakness. That night he’d needed someone, but that someone had been Mary, not a woman he didn’t know. Not Fiona.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered. “I’m so sorry.” He hoped that maybe now Fiona would finally be at peace.
Looking toward the wide-open horizon, he turned his thoughts to Mary. He couldn’t wait to look into her beautiful blue eyes and tell her that he’d never stopped loving her. That thought made him even more anxious. He couldn’t wait to get home.
* * *
DILLON WALKED HER to her door and waited while Mary pulled out her keys.
“I had a wonderful time,” he said as he leaned casually against the side of her building as if waiting to see if she was going to invite him up. Clouds scudded past the full moon to disappear over the mountaintops surrounding the canyon. The cool night air smelled of pine and clear blue trout stream water. This part of Montana was a little bit of Heaven, her mother was fond of saying. Mary agreed.
She’d left a light on in her apartment on the top floor. It glowed a warm inviting golden hue.
“I had fun too,” she said, and considered asking him up to see the view from what she jokingly called her penthouse. The balcony off the back would be especially nice tonight. But her tongue seemed tied, and suddenly she felt tired and close to tears.
“I should go,” Dillon said, his gaze locking with hers. He seemed about to take a step back, but changed his mind and leaned toward her. His hand cupped her jaw as he kissed her. Chastely at first, then with more ardor, gently drawing her to him. The kiss took her by surprise. Their first date he hadn’t even tried.
His tongue probed her mouth for a moment before he ended the kiss as abruptly as it had begun. Stepping back, he seemed to study her in the moonlight for a moment before he said, “I really do have to go. Maybe we could do something this weekend if you aren’t busy?”
She nodded dumbly. She and Dillon were close to the same age, both adults. She’d expected him to kiss her on their first date. So her surprise tonight had nothing to do with him kissing her, she thought as she entered her building, locking the door behind her and hurrying up to her apartment.
It had everything to do with the kiss.
Mary unlocked her apartment door with trembling fingers, stepped in and locked it behind her. She leaned against the door, hot tears filling her eyes as she told herself she shouldn’t be disappointed. But she was.
The kiss had been fine, as far as kisses went. But even when Dillon had deepened the kiss, she had felt nothing but emptiness. The memory made her feel sick. Would she always compare every kiss with Chase’s? Would every man she met come up lacking?
She didn’t bother to turn on a lamp as she tossed her purse down and headed toward her bedroom, furious with herself. And even more furious with Chase. He’d left her and Montana as if what they had together meant nothing to him. Clearly it didn’t. That’s why he’d gotten engaged and wasn’t man enough to call her himself and tell her.
Still mentally kicking herself for writing that letter to him, she changed into her favorite T-shirt and went into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Her image in the mirror startled her. She was no longer that young girl that Chase had fallen in love with. She was a woman in her own right. She dried her tears, the crying replaced with angry determination. If that was the way Chase wanted to be, then it was fine with her.
Her cell phone rang, startling her. She hurried to it, and for just a moment she thought it was going to be Chase. Her heart had soared, then come crashing down. Chase had moved on. When was she going to accept that?
“I couldn’t quit thinking about you after I left,” Dillon said. “I was wondering if you’d like to go to the movies tomorrow night?”
She didn’t hesitate. “I’d love to.” Maybe she just hadn’t been ready for his kiss. Maybe next time...
“Great,” Dillon said. “I’ll pick you up at 5:30 if that’s all right. We can grab something to eat before we go to the theater.”
“Sounds perfect.” If Chase could see her now, she thought as she hung up. Dillon was handsome, but less rugged looking than Chase. Taller though by a good inch or two, and he wanted to go out with her.
She disconnected, determined to put Chase Steele behind her. He had moved on and now she was too. Next time, she would invite Dillon up to her apartment. But even as she thought it, she imagined Chase and the woman he was engaged to. While she was busy comparing every man she met to him, he’d found someone and fallen in love. It made her question if what she and Chase once had was really that unique and special. Just because it had been for her...
Mary willed herself not to think about him. She touched her tongue to her lower lip. Dillon had made her laugh, and he’d certainly been attentive. While the kiss hadn’t spurred a reaction in her, she was willing to give it another chance.
Her father didn’t trust the man, so didn’t that mean that there was more to Dillon than met the eye? Chase had always been a little wild growing up. Her father had been worried about her relationship with him. Maybe there was some wildness in Dillon that would make him more interesting.
As she fell asleep though, her thoughts returned to Chase until her heart was aching and tears were leaking onto her pillow.
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