Hawk's Way Grooms. Joan JohnstonЧитать онлайн книгу.
He finally located her in the shadows. She was sitting with her elbows perched on the kitchen table, her face buried in her hands.
He limped over, scraped a chair closer and sat beside her. He felt her stiffen as he laid an arm across her shoulder. “Are you all right?
“I’m fine.”
“You don’t sound fine. You sound like you’ve been crying.”
“I didn’t think you’d be back tonight.”
Which meant she had expected to have the privacy to cry without being disturbed. It didn’t explain why she had been crying. She tried to rise, but he kept his arm around her and pressed her back down. “I’m here, Jewel.”
“Why is that, Mac? I can’t imagine any woman throwing you out. Which means you left on your own. What happened?”
This was exactly the scene Mac had been hoping to avoid. “She…uh…we…uh…”
“Don’t tell me Eve didn’t make a pass.”
“She did,” Mac conceded reluctantly.
“Then why aren’t you spending the night with her?”
“I…uh…that sort of thing can give a woman ideas.”
“I see.”
“You do?”
“Sure. Spend the whole night in a woman’s bed, and she tends to think you might be serious about her. Everyone knows you’re a love’em and leave’em kind of guy.”
“I am? I mean, I suppose I am. I haven’t found a woman I’d want to settle down with who’d have me.” That was certainly no lie.
Eve had wanted him, all right. It should have been the easiest thing in the world to take her in his arms and make love to her. The situation had been perfect: willing woman, intelligent, not a total stranger, attractive—hell, absolutely beautiful. And it had been absolutely impossible.
Mac bit back the sound of frustration that sought voice.
“You should go to bed if you’re going to get up early and walk tomorrow,” Jewel said.
“I’d rather sit here with you,” Mac replied.
“I’d rather be alone.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’ll be fine.”
Mac leaned over to kiss her softly on the temple. Her hair smelled of lilacs. It reminded him of warm, lazy summer days they had spent lying on the banks of the pond that bordered the Stonecreek Ranch. He resisted the urge to thread his fingers through her hair. It might comfort her, but it would drive him damn near crazy.
“Just know I’m here if you need me,” he said. “You’d better get to bed, too, because I’m expecting you to walk with me tomorrow.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea. It would be better if you go alone.”
He stared at her, wishing he could see the expression on her face. Moonlight filtered in through the kitchen window but left her mostly in shadow. “What’s going on, Jewel? Why are you shutting me out?”
“I got along fine without you for six years, Mac. What makes you think I need you now?”
Mac was stunned as much by the virulence in her voice as by what she had said. “If you want me out of here, I’m gone.”
She clutched his forearm as he rose, rubbing at her eyes with the knuckles of her other hand. “Don’t leave. Don’t leave.”
He pulled her up and into his arms, and she grabbed him tight around his neck and sobbed against his shoulder. He rubbed her back with his open palms, aware suddenly that she was wearing a thin, sleeveless cotton nightgown and nothing else.
His body turned hard as a rock in two seconds flat.
His equipment worked all right. At the wrong time. With the wrong woman.
“Damn it all to hell,” he muttered.
Jewel needed his comfort, not some male animal lusting after her. He kept their hips apart, not wanting his physical response to frighten or distress her. “Tell me what’s wrong, Jewel. Let me help,” he crooned in her ear.
“It’s too embarrassing,” she said, her face pressed tight against the curve of his shoulder.
“Nothing’s too embarrassing for us to talk about, my little carbuncle.”
She hiccuped a laugh. “Carbuncle? Isn’t that an ugly inflammation—”
“It’s a red precious stone. I swear.”
She relaxed, chuckling, and it took all the willpower he had to keep from pulling her tight against him.
“You always could make me laugh,” she said. “Oh, Mac, I wish you’d come back a long time ago. I missed you.”
“And I missed you. Now tell me what’s so embarrassing that you don’t want to talk about it?”
She sighed, and her breasts swelled against his chest, soft and warm. His heartbeat picked up. Lord, she was dangerous. Why couldn’t this have happened with Eve? Why did it have to be Jewel?
Her fingers began to play in the hair at his nape. He wondered if she knew what she was doing to him and decided she couldn’t possibly. She wouldn’t purposely turn him on. What she wanted was comfort from a friend. And he intended to give it to her.
But he wasn’t any more able to stop his body from responding than he had been capable of making it respond. All he could do was try to ignore the part of him that was insisting he do something. He focused his attention on Jewel. She needed his help.
“Tell me what’s wrong,” he urged.
“I wish things were different, that’s all.”
“Don’t we all?” he said, thinking of his own situation. “But frankly, that doesn’t sound embarrassing enough to keep to yourself. What is it? Got bucked off your horse? Happens to the best of us. Broke a dish? Do it all the time. If you broke a heart I might worry, but you can always buy another dish.”
She laughed. The bubbly, effervescent sound he hadn’t heard for six years. He pulled her close and rocked her in his arms in the old, familiar, brotherly way.
She stiffened, and he realized what he had done. His hips, with the hard bulge in front, were pressed tight against hers. There was no way she could mistake his condition.
“Damn, Jewel,” he said, backing away from her, putting her at arm’s length and gripping her hands tightly in his.
He smiled, but she didn’t smile back.
When she pulled free, he let her go. “We can still talk,” he said, wanting her to stay, wanting to confess the truth to her. She was still his best friend. But somehow things had changed. He couldn’t tell her everything, not the most private things. Not anymore.
Maybe he had been wrong to expect her to confide in him. Maybe she felt the same awkwardness he did, the distance that had never been there before. A distance he had put there, because he saw her not just as a friend, but as a woman he wanted to kiss and touch.
“I’m going to bed, Mac.”
“Will you walk with me tomorrow?”
“I don’t think—”
“Please, Jewel. You’re my best friend. I’d really like the company.”
She hesitated so long, he thought she was going to refuse. “All right, Mac. I suppose I owe you that much.” She turned and left without another word.
He waited until her bedroom door closed before he moved, afraid that if he did, he would go after her.
He