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great honors; and to find pain in marks of honor and esteem, as they find it in contempt and affronts.----St. Francis de Sales
St. Dominic remained more willingly in the diocese of Carcassone than in that of Toulouse, where he had converted so many heretics. On being asked his reason, he replied that in the latter he received many honors, but in the former only injuries and insults.
St. Felix the Capuchin experienced great affliction in seeing himself honored and esteemed; and he was often heard to say that he would have been glad to be frightfully deformed, that all might abhor him. He repeated many times that it would have been more agreeable to him to have been dragged and scourged through the streets of Rome, than to have been reverenced by the people.
St. Constantius, when he had taken minor orders, served in a church near Ancona, where he lived so much apart from the world that he had a widespread reputation for sanctity, and people came from different countries to see him. Among others came a peasant, and inquired for him. The Saint was standing upon a ladder, trimming the lamps; but as he was of a small and delicate figure, the peasant, on looking at him, was sorry that he had made the journey, as it seemed to him for nothing, and ridiculing him in his heart, said to himself, but aloud: "I supposed this would be a great man; but for anything that I can see, he has not even the shape of a man." Constantius, hearing this, instantly left the lamp, and coming down with great haste and gladness, ran up to the rustic and embraced him, saying, "You, alone, out of so many, have your eyes open and have been able to recognize me as I am."
The venerable Sister Maria Crucifixa disliked nothing so much as to hear herself praised, so that when she found others had a good opinion of her, she could not refrain from weeping. She was most unwilling that her supernatural favors should come to the knowledge of others. Therefore when she had ecstasies, the nuns all left her at the first sign of returning to herself, to avoid wounding her feelings. Only her own sister remained with her, who gave her to understand that she looked upon these trances only as fainting fits, caused by weakness, for which she pitied her and offered her remedies. But all this was not enough; so great was her abhorrence of self-esteem, that she believed the love of God to be inseparable from the plausible conceit of being considered a Saint. She, therefore, went so far as to make this prayer: "O Lord! I wish to obey Thee; I wish, at Thy touch, to spring up towards Heaven; but Thy way harbors a horrible monster, human esteem, which is for me an insufferable danger; for no one can love Thee without gaining high reputation. I would wish to walk always in Thy way, and this alone is bitter to me, nor do 1 find any obstacles interposed by Hell but this. So I remain here waiting until Thou shalt either slay this monster, or change my path."
18. I pray you, do not make much account of certain trifles which some call wrongs and grievances; for we seem to manufacture these things out of straws, like children, with our points of honor. A truly humble person never believes that he can be wronged in anything. Truly, we ought to be ashamed to resent whatever is said or done against us; for it is the greatest shame in the world to see that our Creator bears so many insults from His creatures, and that we resent even a little word that is contradictory. Let contemplative souls, in particular, take notice that if they do not find themselves quite resolved to pardon any injury or affront which may be inflicted upon them, they cannot trust much to their prayer. For the soul which God truly unites to Himself by so lofty a method of prayer, feels none of these things, and no longer cares whether she is esteemed or not, or whether she is spoken well of or ill; nay rather honors and repose give her more pain than dishonor and trials.----St. Teresa
If St. Francis de Sales saw that his friends showed displeasure at the malignity of those who spoke ill of him, he would say to them: "Have I ever given you authority to show resentment in my place? Let them talk! This is a cross of words, a tribulation of wind, the memory of which dies out with the blaze! He must be very delicate, that cannot bear the buzzing of a fly. Would it be well for us to pretend to be blameless? Who knows if these people do not see my faults better than I myself do, and if they are not the ones who truly love me? Often we call a thing evil-speaking, because it is not to our taste. What injury is it if one has a bad opinion of us, since we ought to have the same of ourselves?"
The venerable Maria Crucifixa showed extreme pleasure when she saw herself little regarded or esteemed. Therefore the nuns, to accommodate themselves to her disposition, usually treated her with disrespect, and made little account of her, calling her awkward, stupid, and ignorant. So, when they wished to lead her into spiritual conversation, by which their fervor was greatly increased, they said to her: "Come now, Sister Maria Crucifixa, bring out some of your blunders; let us hear your nonsense." Then believing that she was truly to serve as the butt of their jesting, she would readily begin to speak. But it was still necessary that they should appear to disregard what she was saying by seeming inattentive, and whispering together now and then while she was speaking; otherwise, she would stop. And, for the same reason, they could none of them recommend themselves to her prayers, because this seemed to her a proof that they considered her fit to intercede for them with God. So, in order to obtain her prayers, they would tell her that she was known to be such a miserable creature that the others were obliged to recommend her to God, and therefore, not to be ungrateful, she ought to do as much for them.
19. Whoever is humble, on being humiliated, humbles himself the more; on being rejected, rejoices in the disgrace; on being placed in low and mean occupations, acknowledges himself to be more honored than he deserves, and performs them willingly; and only abhors and avoids exalted and honorable offices.----St. Jane Frances de Chantal
A young knight, in a transport of boyish rage, once told St. Vincent de Paul that he was an old fool. Thereupon, the Saint instantly threw himself at his feet and asked pardon for the occasion he had perhaps given him to use such words. A Jansenist, who had tried to instill his false doctrines into the same Saint, at last grew angry at his failure and loaded him with abuse, saying, among other things, that he was an ignorant fellow, and he was astonished that his Congregation could endure him as Superior General. To which he replied: "I am still more astonished at it myself, for I am more ignorant than you can possibly imagine." Some monks who had heard of the great fame of the Abbot Agatho resolved to test his virtue. Accordingly, they went to him and said that many were disedified by him, because he was proud, sensual, given to complaint, and, moreover, covered his own defects by laying them to others. He replied that he indeed had all these vices, and prostrate at their feet, he entreated them to recommend him to God and obtain for him the pardon of so many sins. They departed with great astonishment and edification.
When the Abbot Moses was ordained priest, his bishop ordered the clergy to drive him contemptuously away when he should approach the altar, and to listen to what he would say. They did so, saying to him, "Go away, wicked heathen!"
But he humbly withdrew, saying to himself: "This is suitable for thee, wicked wretch, who, though unworthy to be called a man, hast presumed to dwell among men!"
On account of the singularity of her life, St. Rose of Lima was often reproached and abused by her mother and brothers. But so great was her humility that she always thought she deserved worse treatment, and therefore never even excused herself, but rather amplified and added to what she had done, that they might not seem to be wrong in punishing her; and all this afforded her the greatest happiness.
St. Mary Magdalen de' Pazzi willingly occupied herself in laborious tasks; and the lower and meaner they were, with the more pleasure and readiness did she accomplish them. The same thing was done by St. Aloysius Gonzaga.
What efforts were made by many great men, especially in the ecclesiastical state, to avoid being raised to lofty positions! St. Philip Benizi, hearing that the cardinals, immediately after the death of the Pope, wished to elect him as his successor, concealed himself on a mountain until the election of another had taken place.
St. Gregory the Great, after being elected Supreme Pontiff, escaped by stealth and hid himself in a grotto. After being discovered there, by means of a column of fire which appeared above the cave, he was forced to accept the dignity; but he still entreated the Emperor Maurice, though without success, not to confirm his election. St. Ambrose, being miraculously chosen Bishop of Milan by the mouth of an infant too young to speak, fled from his house by night, and even did many things to make the people believe him a man of evil life.
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