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Red Rover Red Rover. Bob HicokЧитать онлайн книгу.

Red Rover Red Rover - Bob Hicok


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my forehead against theirs and telepathically

      talk to them as equals, but they all ran away,

      deer majestically and stars at a speed

      I can’t begin to comprehend. Do you worry

      we’ve offended stars and they’re abandoning us?

      I do. And you. So on behalf of my anxieties,

      I say sorry now on principle to you

      and any trees or otters or planets

      I have harmed, and look forward to the earth

      turning me into sustenance. An aria comes to mind:

      A poor woman must feed her dead husband

      to their starving children. She’s convinced

      she’ll go to Hell whether she does or doesn’t.

      The question she ponders in the aria:

      Is the dilemma itself Hell

      and has she been there her whole life?

      It’s an Italian opera so the cruelty

      of poverty has a natural poetry to it.

      They’re almost the same words—poverty and poetry—

      as are dagger and danger, mangle and manage,

      lover and lever, inspiration and kazoo.

      When her dead husband sings back to her,

      he praises her skill as a cook and suggests

      the loving ways she might prepare him

      to give life, as she gave life so long ago.

      I don’t cry as much as I used to

      and wonder if standing in the rain

      would replenish what I seem unable to give,

      visible proof that I long to be absorbed

      but recognize that I can’t be.

      The life of the rough night

      I found her in the morning cutting hair from her head

      to burn or banish on the river,

      a practice run at mourning. Why wait?

      She’d risen from bed

      to think about the dead getting closer to her parents

      by the day, to not sleep

      a little differently on the couch from how she’d turned

      like a lathe on her side

      of dreaming. She’d taken a crowbar to the dark, her eyes red

      from trying to break inside

      what has no end or center or beginning, while all night

      crickets taunted,

      Nothing changes. If you want to be reborn, die;

      if you want to love,

      hurry up: what’s a year, a decade, a life to water: a person’s

      a sheaf of rain

      in a thirsty world. Rain rain don’t go away: there is

      no other day.

      Prepare for takeoff

      We were poor.

      My Mr. Potato Head was a potato.

      My pony was half a red crayon that drew all of a red pony.

      I rode my red crayon pony with my eyes closed.

      Mr. Potato Head died slowly of mold.

      The potato who replaced him was also from Idaho.

      They’d traveled far to let my imagination put words in their lack of mouths.

      Later, when I had money, I’d carry a hundred dollars in my underwear.

      It seemed a fortune, and the idea of a fortune kept me warm.

      When you’re poor, you never stop being poor.

      When you’re a potato, you never stop smelling like dirt.

      Scared of the dark, I’d hold the aroma of earth to my nose

      and think of Mr. Potato Head in the night of the ground.

      If he survived, so could I.

      If people called the gross knobs that grew out of him eyes,

      I was free to believe whatever I wanted.

      This is how I learned to fly.

      Postcard

      Looking at a bird.

      Looking at the moon.

      Looking at a bird looking at the moon.

      Sharing a cigarette with the trees

      outside my hotel room.

      Waiting for Pegasus.

      Standing in my socks.

      Finding a yellow knife in my coat pocket

      that doesn’t belong to me.

      Stabbing a beer can.

      Dropping the knife in the trash.

      Wondering what kind of bird sings

      for a man waiting for a horse that flies.

      Wishing I’d taken more acid when I was young.

      Imagining myself in armor in the pool

      reading The Unbearable Lightness of Being

      as children a thousand years from irony

      competitively splash each other

      for the prize of shouting I Am the King.

      Never be the king,

      I whisper from behind my faceplate.

      Everything is happening at the same time.

      You are here and I’m in your bedroom

      looking at your slippers.

      Why yellow? Why open-toe?

      There are only surprises,

      including how little I understand.

      My head is on fire and I think

      it’s because I have a woodstove

      for a soul when the truth is

      fire has to be somewhere,

      I have to be somewhere,

      everywhere has to be somewhere:

      why not here?

      Refraction

      In Alaska the sun had insomnia:

      I chased a rainbow at midnight

      south of nowhere in a rental car,

      having lost my favorite cap.

      As fast as I went, the rainbow went.

      As awake as I was, the sky never blinked.

      As much trouble as I have

      being around people, Alaska agrees:

      Alaska gives humans the cold shoulder,

      the frozen river, the scary bear.

      I love that Alaska wants to be alone, too.


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