Quips and Quiddities: A Quintessence of Quirks, Quaint, Quizzical, and Quotable. VariousЧитать онлайн книгу.
are wrong now and then. "Never, Ignoramus, never." "They praised poverty, Mr. MacGrawler," said Paul, with a sigh. "Hem," quoth the critic, a little staggered; but presently recovering his characteristic acumen, he observed, "It is true, Paul, but that was the poverty of other people."
Lord Lytton, Paul Clifford.
ES, Fortune deserves to be chidden, It is a coincidence queer— Whenever one wants to be hidden Some blockhead is sure to appear!
Frederick Locker, London Lyrics.
NE day in the country [Sheridan Knowles] said to Abbot, with whom he had been acting there, "My dear fellow, I'm off to-morrow. Can I take any letters for you?" "You're very kind," answered Abbot; "but where are you going to?" "I haven't made up my mind."
J.R.PlanchÉ, Recollections.
BLUE STOCKINGS.
HE newspapers lately have taught us to know How some strong-minded hens are beginning to crow. But, dear ladies, beware: take the word of a friend, That when rivalry comes, all affection must end. With the brightest of spoons would be war to the knife In political contests 'twixt husband and wife; And the sentence of doom might be sudden and brief If a feminine subaltern jilted her chief. We men take a pride in concealing our chains, And would like to be thought to monopolize brains; So I'll give you this maxim, my counsels to crown— If the stockings are blue, keep the petticoats down.
Once a Week.
ALKING of Kean, I mentioned his having told me that he had eked out his means of living, before he emerged from obscurity, by teaching dancing, fencing, elocution, and boxing. "Elocution and boxing!" (repeated Bobus Smith)—"a word and a blow."
Thomas Moore, Diary.
MILITARY.
MART soldiers like to be well tightened in: Loose habits would destroy all discipline.
H. J. Byron, in English Epigrams.
ONTAINE, the architect, who built the triumphal arch in the Carrousel, placed upon it an empty car, drawn by the famous bronze Venetian horses. Talleyrand asked him, "Qui avez vous l'intention de mettre dans le char?" The answer was, "L'Empereur Napoléon, comme de raison." Upon which Talleyrand said, "Le char l'attend."
Gronow, Recollections.
IS doubtless well to be sometimes awake— Awake to duty, and awake to truth— But when, alas! a nice review we take Of our best deeds and days, we find, in sooth, The hours that leave the slightest cause to weep Are those we passed in childhood or asleep!
John Godfrey Saxe, Poems.
IR TOBY. "Does not our life consist of the four elements?"
Sir Andrew. "Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists of eating and drinking."
Twelfth Night, Act II., Scene 3.
HE thought "Wives and Daughters" "so jolly;" "Had I read it?" She knew that I had: Like the rest, I should dote upon "Molly;" And "poor Mrs. Gaskell—how sad!" "Like Browning?" "But so-so." His proof lay Too deep for her frivolous mood, That preferred your mere metrical soufflé To the stronger poetical food; Yet at times he was good—"as a tonic:" Was Tennyson writing just now? And was this new poet Byronic, And clever, and naughty, or how?
Austin Dobson, Vignettes in Rhyme.
LD friends are best. King James used to call for his old shoes; they were easiest for his feet.
Selden, Table Talk.
ET a coach be called, And let the man who called it be the caller; And in his calling let him nothing call, But coach, coach, coach! Oh for a coach, ye gods!
Carey, Chrononhotonthologos.
F you could make a pudding wi' thinking o' the batter, it 'ud be easy getting dinner.
Mrs. Poyser, in George Eliot's Adam Bede.
HERE'S somewhat on my breast, father, There's somewhat on my breast; The livelong day I sigh, father, And at night I cannot rest. 'Tis not the lack of gold, father, Nor want of worldly gear; My lands are broad, and fair to see, My friends are kind and dear. 'Tis not that Janet's false, father, 'Tis not that she's unkind; Though busy flatterers swarm around, I know her constant mind. 'Tis not her coldness, father, That chills my labouring breast: It's that confounded cucumber I've eat and can't digest.
R. H. Barham, Ingoldsby Lyrics.
NSOLENCE is a charming quality, when, like mercy, it is not strained.
Once a Week.
NCIENT Phillis has young graces, 'Tis a strange thing, but a true one! Shall I tell you how? She, herself, makes her own faces, And each morning wears a new one; Where's the wonder now?
Lord Froth, in Congreve 's Double Dealer.
ÉLÉBRITÉ—l'avantage d'être connu de ceux que vous ne connaissez pas.
Chamfort, Maximes.
IS past all bearing, when a husband slights his bride, Who last Christmas still was blushing at her elder sister's side; Still on some minute allowance finding collars, boots, and gloves, Still to cousinly flirtations limiting her list of loves, Still by stern domestic edict charged on no account to read Any of Miss Brontë's novels, or to finish Adam Bede.
First Lady, in Trevelyan's Ladies in Parliament.
DIFFER from all the ordinary biographers of that independent gentleman Don't Care. I believe Don't Care came to a good end. At any rate he came to some end. Whereas numbers of people never have beginning, or ending, of their own.
