Welcome to Mills & Boon. Jennifer RaeЧитать онлайн книгу.
Because he’d already made up his mind about what he wanted. And what he didn’t want.
He wasn’t going to change.
Holding him tightly, I returned his kiss. Tears streaming unchecked down my cheeks, adding salt to the taste. His lips gentled as he pressed me back against the wall of the stairwell. My head fell back as he kissed down my throat. I gasped, trembling, caught between desire and the agony of a breaking heart. How could I realize I loved him, only to lose him the same night? Blood rushed in my ears like a rhythmic buzz.
Edward pulled away with a curse, and I realized the buzz was actually his phone ringing. But who would call him so late? A business emergency? A secretary?
A mistress?
No. Surely not. But we’d never promised fidelity. He’d promised only pleasure.
“It’s not me,” he said shortly, looking at his phone.
Frowning, I reached down for my tiny purse that had dropped to the floor, and saw it was actually my new phone ringing. But other than Edward, the only person who knew the number was my stepfather, who’d just wrapped up production in New Mexico.
I stared down at the caller ID.
“It’s Jason,” I breathed.
“Black?” Edward’s scowl deepened. “Why is he calling you?”
“I have no idea.”
“Has he done it before?” he bit out, almost unwillingly.
I shook my head. “Something must be wrong... Oh my God.” Images of Howard or Madison hurt flashed in front of my terrified eyes. Turning away, I answered anxiously, “Jason?”
“Diana?”
“Why are you calling me?”
“I’m in California... I got the number from Howard.”
“What’s happened? Is someone hurt?”
“Yeah. Someone’s hurt.”
I held my breath.
“I am,” he said quietly. “I made a horrible mistake.”
I frowned. “What do you mean, you made a mistake?”
Edward had been glowering beside me. But at this, he turned on his heel without a word. I watched him stalk up the staircase. Was he mad at me for answering a call in the middle of our kiss? But that wasn’t fair. He was the one who’d picked up his phone first.
“I shouldn’t have cheated on you,” Jason said on the phone. “I should have known we’d get caught. Even at night, there’s always people around the Eiffel Tower. I have so many regrets. I should have...” His voice trailed off. “You know Madison and I broke up.”
“I know,” I said gently.
He exhaled. “Is there any way you can ever forgive me?”
“Sure.”
He paused. “Really?”
I realized somewhat to my own surprise that I’d forgiven and forgotten long ago. The way I felt for Edward now, all the angst over Jason seemed a million years ago. It didn’t matter. As Edward had said—I was a different person then.
“I forgave you a long time ago....” I said quietly.
“Oh?” he said hopefully.
“Because I’m in love with Edward now.”
“Oh,” he sighed.
I changed the subject. “But is there any chance that you and Madison...?”
“Nah. She disappeared to India when we broke up. Now I heard she’s in Mongolia doing some independent film, out on some steppe in the middle of nowhere, no makeup trailer, no catering, getting paid at scale.”
“Seriously?” That didn’t sound like her at all.
“Crazy, right? Must be a nervous breakdown or something. At least, that’s what I suggested when I was interviewed last week for People magazine.”
He was giving interviews about Madison, suggesting she’d had a nervous breakdown? I didn’t approve of that at all. I thought of Edward, waiting for me upstairs. “If that’s all you called about...”
“No. Here’s why I called. I’m costarring on a web series. It’s just a side project, a spin-off to promote my movie sequel coming out next summer. But the lead actress just ducked out an hour ago to go back to rehab.” He paused. “I thought of you.”
“You...what?” I said faintly.
“Don’t get too excited. The pay is next to nothing. But the movie has a large cult following, and good visibility. So even though it’s just on the web, it could help you get the attention of agents....”
As he continued to speak, I stood in the dark foyer, swaying. I felt lightheaded.
“...and you wouldn’t even have to audition. I have that much pull, at least.” He paused. “Diana? You still there?”
“I just can’t believe it,” I whispered. My hand tightened on the phone. “You’re calling out of nowhere to offer me my dream job?”
“Dream job?” He laughed “Oh man. If a shoestring web series is your dream, you need bigger dreams.” He added apologetically, “It’s not glamorous, either. The character is pregnant. You’d need to wear padding....”
I put my hand against the wall to brace myself. “Are you kidding?” Pregnant? Was it fate telling me to go? I said almost tearfully, “Why are you doing this?”
“Well, I owe you, Diana,” he said quietly. “After all I put you through, it seemed the least I could do. Plus,” he added, “I’d rather work with you than some no-name nobody. Will you come?”
I thought again of Edward upstairs, waiting for me, and my heart twisted. “I’m not sure....”
“I understand,” he said dryly. “Edward doesn’t seem like the California type.” He paused. “It’s up to you. But if you can get here within two days, the role is yours.”
When I hung up the phone, the house was silent and dark. Mrs. Corrigan had gone to bed long ago, before we even got home from the party. It was the first time I’d been downstairs like this, with Edward up in our bedroom. Usually I was the one to sleep alone.
California. The memory of home came back to me. Sunshine. The ocean. The scent of roses in my mother’s garden. I could have my dream job there, with my friends and family around me, raising my baby....
Except this wasn’t just my baby. It was our baby. And no matter how scared I was, I had to tell Edward about it. I had to at least give him the chance to be part of our lives. And tell him I loved him. Right now.
But as I slowly went up the stairs, my heart was in my throat.
A baby. I gripped the slender oak handrail as I climbed, each shaking step echoing across the dark house. A sweet, precious baby. Would he be a little boy with Edward’s eyes? An adorable little girl with his smile?
Then I remembered my promise.
This is all I can give you, he’d said. No marriage. No children. All I can offer is—this. Do you agree?
An ache lifted to my throat. I was kidding myself if I thought Edward would be happy about this. He didn’t want my love. He didn’t want my child. He wanted convenient sex, and to leave if it got complicated.
I covered my mouth with my hand. Please let him be happy about my news. Give me the chance to show him how to love again....
My legs shook as I walked down the dark hallway. I stopped at our bedroom door.
“You’ve kept