Welcome to Mills & Boon. Jennifer RaeЧитать онлайн книгу.
him, lying on the bed. His long legs were crossed, his arms folded beneath his head as he stared up at the ceiling. He was still fully clothed in his tuxedo, with only his tie loosened.
“How is Jason?” he said coldly, still staring up at the ceiling.
I stopped. The two men were not exactly close friends. More like rivals, really, though I had no idea what they might be rivals about. I said haltingly, “He’s all right.”
“I bet.” With a low laugh, Edward sat up on the bed. He turned to face me. The hard lines of his body and face were in shadow, but I saw the glitter of his eyes. “So he made a big mistake, did he?”
“He felt bad about cheating on me,” my voice stumbled awkwardly, “so he called me to offer me a role. It’s nothing big, just a web series. But I can have the role without having to audition, as long as I’m there in two days.”
“How perfect. For both of you.” He rose to his feet, slowly, like a giant rising in front of me. “Do you want me to help you pack?”
My lips parted at the coldness of his tone. “I don’t want to leave you—”
“It’s exactly what you want,” he said acidly. “Go back to California, with all your industry connections. Jason Black is dying to have you back, so much he’s obligingly dug up an acting job for you. Everything you want has fallen into your lap. There’s nothing left to do but give you a goodbye kiss.”
Every woman Edward had trusted had abandoned him, lied to him. But I would not. “I don’t want to go. Because—”
He lifted a dark eyebrow and said mockingly, “Because?”
My spine straightened, and I forced myself to say it, simply, clearly, with every syllable full of equal parts anguish and hope. “Because I’m in love with you, Edward.”
The effect was immediate.
Dropping his hands, he staggered back. His eyes looked wild in the shadowy light. He took a step toward me. Then stopped.
“I want to stay,” I whispered, almost begging. “Please give me a reason to stay. Tell me I have a chance with you.”
I heard his intake of breath. “Diana...” He caught himself. His jaw grew tight. “No.”
“You don’t want me,” I said miserably.
“Of course I want you,” he said fiercely. Then he looked away. “I just know how this will end.” With a low curse, he yanked off his loosened tuxedo tie. “I should have broken this off weeks ago. Before we left Cornwall. But I couldn’t.” He looked at me, and I thought I saw a sheen of bewilderment in his eyes, even grief. “And this is the result. Pain for us both.”
“Don’t you have any feelings for me at all?” I choked out.
He stepped back. The short distance between us suddenly became wide. “I care about you.” I saw the smudges of shadows beneath his eyes. He took a breath. “In fact I’m afraid, if I let myself, I could fall in love with you, Diana.”
Joy leapt in my heart. “Edward—”
“But I won’t let it happen,” he said flatly. “I won’t let myself love you.”
The cut was so sudden and savage that my breath choked off and a sound came from my lips like a whimper.
His eyes glittered. “Love is a suckers’ game, Diana. I’ve told you that all along. The only way to win is not to play. I’ve learned it the hard way.”
But beneath his rough voice, I thought I heard something else. Vulnerability. He was holding himself together by brute force.
“Please don’t do this,” I said tearfully. “Don’t.”
Edward looked down at me almost wistfully. “We both know you haven’t been happy in London. It was just a matter of time.”
I couldn’t argue with that, no matter how much I wished I could. As I stood beside the enormous bed where he’d given me such pleasure in the darkness, every night for the past two months, I felt Edward’s emotional and physical withdrawal, as plainly as if someone had pulled a coat off my body. I hadn’t even realized it had been wrapped around my shoulders until it was suddenly gone and I felt the chill blast of winter.
Reaching into the closet, he pulled out my old suitcase. Tossing it on our bed, he calmly started dumping my clothes into it. As I watched him, aghast, he finished packing in just three minutes. “If I’ve missed anything, I’ll have it sent to you in California.”
“You’re tossing me out.”
His eyes held no expression. “I’m saying goodbye.”
But I still hadn’t told him my secret—our precious, precious secret, due in September. “Wait. We still have to talk.” I took a deep breath and tried desperately, “There’s something more I have to tell you—”
“We’ve talked,” Edward said. “And now we’re done.” Going to the window, he opened the blinds and looked out at the elegant street, dark and quiet with all the expensive townhouses tucked in for the night, sleeping cheek by jowl in the moonlight. Pulling his phone from his pocket, Edward called his driver. Hanging up, he glanced back at me as if I were a stranger.
“Nathan will be here in five minutes to take you to the airport. My jet is at your disposal, and will take you back to where your dream career and dream man await.” His lips twisted. “Thank you for your assistance with my recovery.” Edward held out his hand. “I will be glad to recommend you to anyone who needs a physiotherapist in the future.”
Bewildered, I took his hand. He shook it once, briskly, as if we’d only just been introduced. He started to pull away. Desperately, I tightened my hand. “Come with me to California.”
His lips curved. “And what would I do there?”
“Whatever you want!”
He shook his head. “St. Cyr Global is headquartered in London. The company is my responsibility. I was born to it....”
“And you hate it,” I said tearfully. “Every single minute.”
He looked down at me, and an expression of pain crossed his eyes. “It was fun while it lasted, Diana,” he said quietly. “But there is no reason for us to ever see each other again.”
“No reason? Are you crazy? I just told you I loved you!”
His expression hardened. “Do you expect me to change my whole life for the sake of a few cheap words?”
“Cheap?” My knees trembled from the emptiness I felt inside. It suddenly threatened to devour me, with the help of its friends, grief and despair. “I want to be with you forever. I love you, Edward,” I whispered. “We could build a home together, a future.” I lifted my tearful gaze to his. “We could have a child—”
My throat closed when I saw him flinch.
“Sorry. What I want,” he said quietly, “is a clean break.” He closed my suitcase with a snap.
“But there can’t be.” To my horror, my voice came out in a whimper. I wiped my eyes hard. “There will always be a connection between us now. Because you have to know that I...”
“For God’s sake, stop it!”
“But I...”
“Not another word! If you won’t go, I will.” I had a brief view of his pale, stricken face as he rushed past me. Then he was gone, disappearing through the door in a few strides of his long legs.
I stared after him in shock. I heard the echo of the front door slamming downstairs. I looked out the window, and numbly watched Edward disappear down the street, walking out of my life forever.
A sob came from the back of my throat. I leaned against the window, my hand outstretched across the