Men to Trust. Diana PalmerЧитать онлайн книгу.
manage a single word.
His blue eyes were somber. “Today was a beginning. Not the end.”
Her lips parted as she studied him, with love radiating from her face. He saw it, and felt humbled by it. He’d never been with a woman who was so violently in love with him. He felt cosseted, valued, possessed.
He drew her against him, aware that he became aroused the instant he felt her soft breasts against his chest. That hadn’t happened even with Shannon, when he was much younger. Violet lit fires in his body.
“Feel that?” he whispered as he bent to her mouth. “You arouse me so much that it hurts.”
She opened her mouth when she felt his lips on it. He built the kiss, lifting her free of the floor in his embrace. “I would still let you,” she whispered.
“I know,” he whispered back. “You’re part of me now. I’m part of you. Kiss me…”
The kiss was long, hard, passionate. When he finally put her down, she was trembling.
“Go home,” he said firmly, leading her to the door with her purse in his hand.
“Throwing me out?” she teased.
He chuckled. “Saving you,” he murmured wickedly. “I need a cold shower.”
She touched his chest with her hand, dizzy and aching with new sensations, new joy. “I know you already know it,” she said softly. “But I love you.”
He traced her mouth with his fingertip. The words bit into him, made him feel guilty. He wanted her, but he didn’t feel that emotion for her. Not yet. He just smiled. “Drive carefully. Call me when you get home.”
He didn’t say it, but he had to feel something powerful for her, she was certain of it. She beamed. “Okay. Good night.”
“Good night, angel,” he said softly.
He watched her walk away with feelings of utter self-contempt. He’d taken advantage of what she felt for him, lost control and put her at risk. Now he had to stand by and wait to find out if she became pregnant, knowing that if she did, he’d be forced to marry her to save her reputation. It wasn’t the best night of his life, despite the lingering pleasure that reminded him of the afternoon.
Chapter Six
Violet managed to slip into her house without being seen by her mother. She was disheveled and her hair was a mess. Her mother wasn’t blind or stupid, she’d know that something torrid had been going on. To prevent any uncomfortable questions, Violet had called to her and then went straight to her room without letting herself be seen.
From there, she went to the kitchen, trying not to let her mind wander to the afternoon. Then she remembered that she’d promised to bring her mother some trout. She groaned inwardly. She heated her mother a bowl of soup and crackers for supper.
“I’m sorry about the trout,” she began. But she was beaming and she couldn’t help it.
Mrs. Hardy grinned. “Never mind that. Soup is fine. You’ve got feathers on your lips, my darling cat,” she chided. “So what’s going on with you and that dishy man?”
So much for deterring her mother’s suspicions. Violet blushed, grinning back. “The boss man is talking about rings.”
Her mother gasped. “Darling!”
Violet laughed. “Can you believe it? And we were fighting and giving each other fits just last week!”
“He didn’t really know you before, though,” the older woman pointed out as she sipped soup from a spoon. “You were too shy to be yourself with him.”
“I was,” Violet agreed, vaguely ashamed of what had happened, just the same.
“Did he mention a date?”
Violet shook her head. “We’re going to take it one day at a time,” she replied.
Mrs. Hardy only smiled. She knew that when couples got to the ring stage, weddings very often came quickly. “I’ve only ever wanted to live long enough to see you married and secure,” she said absently.
“You’d better be around longer than that,” Violet chided. “I can’t do without you!”
“Bosh,” the other woman murmured. “You’ve got your own life to live. I’m just about done with mine.”
“Don’t you talk like that,” her daughter chided. “You’re not nearly done. You have so much to look forward to!”
“Such as?” Mrs. Hardy asked, her eyes lackluster.
“Grandchildren!” she replied, and blushed again, because she could already be pregnant.
The older woman sat very still. “Grandchildren. Why…I hadn’t thought…” She glanced at Violet. “Does he want children, then?”
“Of course,” Violet said, smiling.
“He must have changed his mind,” Mrs. Hardy mused to herself.
Violet felt a sinking sensation. “What do you mean?”
“Oh, it’s just something he mentioned that day he came over to talk to me, dear,” she said, sipping more soup. “He said that he’d never have a child.”
Violet felt sick. “Did he?”
Her mother hadn’t noticed Violet’s sudden lack of color and enthusiasm. She was thinking. “Men often think like that, until they have a child. But he was rather emphatic about it, just the same.”
“I wonder why,” Violet murmured aloud, uncomfortable.
Her mother glanced at her worriedly. “You mustn’t let on that I told you,” she said.
“Told me what, Mother?”
Mrs. Hardy grimaced. “Mr. Kemp is a very upright man these days, but he was young and irresponsible once. I’d heard something about the Culbertson girl, from a nurse I know. I asked him about it. He was shocked enough to tell me the truth about her. She was pregnant when she died. It was his child. He hadn’t known about it, although he would have married her sooner if he had. The coroner covered up her pregnancy, to spare her parents the embarrassment. But it affected him terribly. He lost not only his fiancée, but his child as well. He said that just the thought of a child gave him nightmares now, brought it all back to haunt him.”
Violet sat down, hard. It was worse than she’d imagined. Blake didn’t want children. She’d pushed him off balance and they’d had unprotected sex. He was making the best of things, but he’d never said that he loved her and he’d intimated that if she turned up pregnant, they’d have to make arrangements. Could that mean that he didn’t want a child, ever, after what had happened with his fiancée?
She felt sick to her soul. What was she going to do?
“Dear, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Hardy asked with a frown.
Violet forced a smile. “Nothing. I shouldn’t be jealous of a dead woman, should I?” she added, leading her mother right into the false conclusion that she was thinking about Shannon.
Mrs. Hardy relaxed. “Yes, dear. You shouldn’t.”
Violet changed the subject. But she didn’t sleep very much that night. She was sick with worry. How could she have been so blind and stupid? She was going to pay a high price for her one hour of passion. She’d thought it was worth anything at the time. Now, she wasn’t so sure.
She went to work Monday morning with uncertain feelings. She dreaded and anticipated seeing Blake again, both at once. Duke Wright smiled at her as he put her to work on new herd records, and he looked as if he might have known something about her day at Blake Kemp’s house. But he didn’t say anything.
Curt did. He grinned at her as