Romantic Getaways Collection. Liz FieldingЧитать онлайн книгу.
paced the streets, barely noticing the rain as it began to fall steadily from the sky, seeping into her new dress and plastering her hair to her head.
How could things have gone so wrong so quickly? She’d known before, of course, that there was a chance they might when she’d thought his memory was still missing, but for him to have lied about remembering her, then shown her how wonderful they could be together, only then to regain his memory and reject her was devastating.
Lightning flashed overhead, shocking her out of her frustrated, meandering thoughts, and she ducked under a nearby awning of a restaurant where a few other tourists had gathered, taking shelter from the storm. What was she doing? Moping around Barcelona in the rain wasn’t going to solve the problem; the only way she was going to get him to listen to her was to turn up at his apartment and refuse to leave until he did.
She wasn’t going to run from him again, not this time. She was going to do what she should have done all those years ago—be brave and fight for what she really wanted, no matter the consequences. She’d never be able to forgive herself if she didn’t, not now she knew what she’d be missing—a positive, life-affirming partnership with the man she loved.
Seeing an available taxi driving down the street, she ran back out into the rain and hailed it, jumping into the back seat and giving the driver Caleb’s address in a voice shaking with nerves and determination.
She would not give up on them. Not this time.
The journey seemed to take an age as they joined the slow-moving traffic and more and more people jumped into taxis to shelter from the rain. Elena tapped her foot anxiously, wondering what sort of reception she’d get when he opened the door and found her standing there. Would he be angry, cold, indifferent? Or, now that he’d had some time to calm down and reflect rationally on it all, would he be relieved to see her?
She hoped so.
Oh, how she hoped.
The taxi finally drew up outside his building and she shoved the fare towards the driver, telling him to keep the change in her haste to get to Caleb, and dashed across the pavement and up to the entry door to his block. Pulling out the spare key card that Caleb had lent her that morning, so she could get in and out while he was out at work, she pressed it against the pad and sighed with relief when the door lock clicked open. She wouldn’t have put it past him to have the code reconfigured to keep her out.
The lift was already at ground level and it took her straight up to his apartment. Walking into the hallway, she came to a surprised stop when she saw a suitcase lying haphazardly in the middle of the floor. She frowned at the incongruity of it, wondering absent-mindedly what it was doing there. And then it hit her like a fist to the gut.
It was hers.
Caleb must have packed her things and thrown them out here in case she had the gall to return for them. Well, she wasn’t going to let that deter her. Marching up to his door, she hammered loudly on it, her heart thumping in her throat as she stood there listening for his heavy footsteps coming towards her. It occurred to her wildly that she wasn’t exactly looking her best at the moment—a lot like a drowned rat, in fact—but she shoved the thought away, knowing this was no time for vanity.
The door swung open and she looked up into Caleb’s handsome face, forcing herself not to take a step backwards as she registered the anger in his expression.
‘Your things are behind you in the hall,’ he said curtly, the bitterness in his voice making her stomach roll.
‘I’m not here for my things; I’m here for you,’ she stated baldly, keeping her gaze locked with his and her chin determinedly up.
A range of expressions passed over his face: from bemusement to resentment and finally, and most worryingly, to incredulity.
‘Let me in, Caleb,’ she said calmly, but with a determination that rose from her very soul.
‘You can say what you need to right here,’ he said, folding his arms in front of him, effectively blocking her way past him with his enormous bulk.
The coldness in his eyes shook her, but there was no way she was going to let him scare her off now. She knew that the kind, compassionate man she’d got to know again over the last few days was still in there somewhere; she just needed to get him to hear what she had to say then maybe she’d be able to draw him back out again.
‘Okay, fine, if it has to be said here in your hallway then it will be.’ She took a breath and set back her shoulders.
‘You were right; I wasn’t honest with you and I should have been from the very start, but I was afraid you’d push me away and I desperately wanted to make up for the way I treated you in the past. I was selfish and cruel then but, please believe me, I’m not that same self-absorbed girl I used to be. I’m a different person now. A better one, I hope. Surely you’ve seen proof of that over the last few days.’
He didn’t give any indication that she was getting through to him, his posture remaining stiff and his expression impassive, so she decided just to get it all out in the hope that something she said would strike a chord with him.
‘I know I told you that I decided I couldn’t marry Jimmy because our relationship was staid and—boring.’ She winced at how awful that sounded. What a terrible person she’d been, to them both.
Caleb still didn’t say anything, his expression remaining indifferent.
She took another steadying breath, then let the words rush out. ‘But the truth is, I broke up with him because I realised I’d never feel about him the way I felt about you.’
There was a flicker of something in his eyes and she held her breath for a moment, praying for a reaction, but he steadfastly refused to give her one.
Swallowing hard, she bunched her fists for courage.
‘Back then I was afraid of how unpredictable you were, how you didn’t fit into the way I’d envisioned my life turning out, but mostly how I still wanted you—desperately—despite all of that. After years of keeping a tight control over my life, that completely rattled me. So I stuck with Jimmy, the safe bet, the man I could control. Because I was a coward.’
He wasn’t looking at her now, but staring off into the distance. Folding her arms, she steeled herself to hold it together.
‘I realised later on, of course, once I’d grown up a little, that a certain amount of conflict can be good for a relationship. I guess it gives it the edge it needs to keep things exciting and fresh. As long as there’s enough love between a couple...I think I mistook passion for dysfunction in my parents’ marriage but they’re still together today, so it shows what I know.’
She was aware that she was dripping water onto the floor now and that she’d begun to shiver with cold, but she pushed aside her discomfort, feeling it was probably a fitting state for her confession.
‘I think I’ve really been single for so long because I stopped trusting my judgement when it comes to relationships. I was ashamed of the way I’d acted in the past and avoided getting close to anyone again in case I made the same mistakes. But after spending this incredible time with you here I realised that if I want to be happy it’s time to stop being afraid of what might go wrong.’
She took a step closer to him. ‘And embrace what could go right. Because I’m so happy when I’m with you.’ Her voice broke as she took another step forwards and saw him tense, then tighten and raise his arms like a barrier.
‘You really think I’m going to be able to trust you again?’ he muttered.
‘I do. Because I think you want to; it’s just your pride getting in the way.’
‘My pride? You broke your word to me and you lied; why should I believe you won’t do that again?’
‘Because I’m not the girl you remember, Caleb. I’m older and wiser now.’ She took a deep, shaky breath. ‘I was so ridiculously naïve back then, I had no idea what I really