Romantic Getaways Collection. Liz FieldingЧитать онлайн книгу.
that you scared me at the time. You were so full of anger and bitterness I didn’t know whether I could handle you. I wasn’t a very strong person then.’
‘I didn’t need your strength, Elena. I needed your loyalty and respect.’
It felt as though his words had slapped her in the face. She knew he was right; she’d disrespected him in the worst possible way. He trusted her with the whole of his already damaged heart and she’d toyed with it for a while, then thrown it back at him, broken and beyond repair. It had been the worst thing she could have done to him; no wonder he’d turned into the hardened character she’d first met here last week.
‘I don’t blame you for being reluctant to trust my word after I made such a mess of things last time, but please, Caleb, please give me another chance.’
Her heart started to race and her body flushed hot with trepidation as she looked up into his hooded eyes and said, ‘I love you.’
He stared at her, a deep frown marring his face.
‘You love me?’ His tone was so troubled her heart went right out to him.
‘Yes, and I want us to make this relationship work.’
He shook his head, the expression in his eyes a little wild as if he was fighting with himself about how to respond.
Her chest gave a little jolt of hope at the thought that perhaps she might finally be getting through to him.
Turning away from her, he began to pace up and down the hall, raking his hands through his hair and making it stand on end. He looked troubled, anxious—but encouraged maybe?
‘I don’t know, Elena. It’s a lot to process. I thought I knew you—’
‘You do know me. Everything I’ve told you about myself is true. Everything we’ve done together has been genuine and came from a place of love and respect for you.’
Still he shook his head, as if not daring to believe it.
‘I understand why you’re feeling this way. It has to be so confusing losing your memory like that,’ she said in desperation. ‘Then finding out you were missing a big chunk of important information.’ She walked to him now and put her hands on his arms, gripping them hard and using the whole of her strength to stop him from pacing.
‘Listen to me, Caleb Araya. I am not letting you push me away again. I know I was in the wrong fifteen years ago, but everything that’s happened between us in the last week has been real. And I think you feel the same, though you’re too stubborn to admit it.’
* * *
Caleb stared at this brave, fierce woman in front of him and felt the heavy weight of unhappiness lift a little from his chest.
He knew what she was saying made sense; she’d been nothing but kind and caring towards him since leaving the hospital and he was acutely aware that he was letting his fear and panic get in the way of common sense. His chest gave a sharp throb as he accepted that if it hadn’t been for her courage to stand up to him and assert her steadying influence at the meeting he would have lost Carter’s business. She’d done that to help him. Because she cared about him. He knew that really, deep in his heart.
In reality, it had been his fault this had all turned into such an awful mess in the blink of an eye because he’d lied about his memory coming back so they could take their relationship further; and it had definitely been him who had asked her to go with him to the meeting with Carter. He remembered the look of wary uncertainty on her face now when he’d suggested it. That, he knew without a doubt, had been absolutely genuine.
He could recognise all that now—now he’d started to see through the fog of fear and panic that had engulfed him earlier.
Looking inside himself, he knew he’d forgiven her a long time ago for what had happened between them. Really, he’d hated himself for being so weak and proud, but until now he’d been too afraid to admit it to himself because it was easier to hate someone than to admit how much you loved them. How much it tore you apart to not have that love returned.
A small defiant part of him still wanted to hang on to the animosity he’d hidden his feelings behind, to keep himself safe from any more pain and uncertainty, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not after she’d been brave enough to turn up here, dripping wet and bedraggled, to lay her heart at his feet when she could have just got on a plane with her signed contract and never had to face him again.
He wouldn’t do that to her because what he wanted most in the world was a real and honest relationship with her, even if their journey together was likely to be littered with obstacles and challenges.
She made him happy.
He loved her and she loved him and when it came down to it that was all that really mattered.
Seeming to sense a softening in his attitude, she moved closer to him and tentatively raised a hand to his face. The warmth of her touch heated his skin, starting a fire in his chest which radiated out through his body until every centimetre of him ached to hold her against him again.
‘Please, Caleb, please forgive me. Let me back in,’ she whispered.
The crack of pain and desperation in her voice broke through the very last of his reserve and he felt the final tendrils of his anger leave him, washed away by the dizzying elation of her presence here—the place where she belonged.
Cupping her jaw in his hands, he smiled at her, drawing her closer. ‘There’s nothing to forgive. I’ve been wrong to hold what happened between us all those years ago against you, but it was easier to hate you than face what I’d become: a bitter, cold-hearted fool.’
She opened her mouth as if to disagree but he held up his hand, asking her to wait until he’d finished.
‘Being with you has brought me alive again. I love being around you; the world feels like a better place when you’re here.’
He frowned as he remembered the horrified look on her face in the restaurant just before he’d stormed away in angry confusion. ‘When my memory came back earlier this evening I think I panicked. I suddenly had all these conflicting thoughts and feelings racing through my head, and I didn’t know what was truth and what was fiction any more. My natural instinct was to push you away to protect myself. I was afraid you didn’t really care about me the way I’d hoped you did and it scared the hell out of me.’
He stroked his thumbs across her cheeks, brushing away the tears that had begun to streak down her face.
‘Because I love you, Elena,’ he murmured, holding her gaze with his for one precious moment, seeing relief and love light up in her eyes, before bringing his mouth down to hers with a kiss that took his breath away at the utter perfection of it.
He felt her finally relax against him and he pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her and pressing their bodies tightly together, feeling the strongest compulsion to never let her go again.
‘Caleb, your rib,’ she muttered against his shoulder where her face was squashed by his encircled arms.
‘It’s fine. Don’t worry.’
‘I don’t want to hurt you,’ she said, pulling away to look up into his face.
‘You won’t,’ he said with conviction.
‘You know, we’re probably going to be one of those couples that constantly strikes sparks off each other,’ she said with a hint of worry in her eyes.
‘I hope so,’ he said, dipping down to nuzzle her neck and feeling great satisfaction in the little shiver of enjoyment she gave. ‘It will keep life exciting.’
‘So we’ll have to make sure our kids know how much we love each other,’ she said with determination in her voice.
He drew back and raised both eyebrows. ‘Kids?’
She nodded firmly. ‘Yes. I want three.’