The Essential Works of Theodore Dreiser. Theodore DreiserЧитать онлайн книгу.
he could by sending the money back — the major portion of it. The remainder he would pay up as soon as he could. Was there any possibility of his being restored? This he only hinted at.
The troubled state of the man’s mind may be judged by the very construction of this letter. For the nonce he forgot what a painful thing it would be to resume his old place, even if it were given him. He forgot that he had severed himself from the past as by a sword, and that if he did manage to in some way reunite himself with it, the jagged line of separation and reunion would always show. He was always forgetting something — his wife, Carrie, his need of money, present situation, or something — and so did not reason clearly. Nevertheless, he sent the letter, waiting a reply before sending the money.
Meanwhile, he accepted his present situation with Carrie, getting what joy out of it he could.
Out came the sun by noon, and poured a golden flood through their open windows. Sparrows were twittering. There were laughter and song in the air. Hurstwood could not keep his eyes from Carrie. She seemed the one ray of sunshine in all his trouble. Oh, if she would only love him wholly — only throw her arms around him in the blissful spirit in which he had seen her in the little park in Chicago — how happy he would be! It would repay him; it would show him that he had not lost all. He would not care.
“Carrie,” he said, getting up once and coming over to her, “are you going to stay with me from now on?”
She looked at him quizzically, but melted with sympathy as the value of the look upon his face forced itself upon her. It was love now, keen and strong — love enhanced by difficulty and worry. She could not help smiling.
“Let me be everything to you from now on,” he said. “Don’t make me worry any more. I’ll be true to you. We’ll go to New York and get a nice flat. I’ll go into business again, and we’ll be happy. Won’t you be mine?”
Carrie listened quite solemnly. There was no great passion in her, but the drift of things and this man’s proximity created a semblance of affection. She felt rather sorry for him — a sorrow born of what had only recently been a great admiration. True love she had never felt for him. She would have known as much if she could have analysed her feelings, but this thing which she now felt aroused by his great feeling broke down the barriers between them.
“You’ll stay with me, won’t you?” he asked.
“Yes,” she said, nodding her head.
He gathered her to himself, imprinting kisses upon her lips and cheeks.
“You must marry me, though,” she said. “I’ll get a license today,” he answered.
“How?” she asked.
“Under a new name,” he answered. “I’ll take a new name and live a new life. From now on I’m Murdock.”
“Oh, don’t take that name,” said Carrie.
“Why not?” he said.
“I don’t like it.”
“Well, what shall I take?” he asked.
“Oh, anything, only don’t take that.”
He thought a while, still keeping his arms about her, and then said:
“How would Wheeler do?”
“That’s all right,” said Carrie.
“Well, then, Wheeler,” he said. “I’ll get the license this afternoon.”
They were married by a Baptist minister, the first divine they found convenient.
At last the Chicago firm answered. It was by Mr. Moy’s dictation. He was astonished that Hurstwood had done this; very sorry that it had come about as it had. If the money were returned, they would not trouble to prosecute him, as they really bore him no ill-will. As for his returning, or their restoring him to his former position, they had not quite decided what the effect of it would be. They would think it over and correspond with him later, possibly, after a little time, and so on.
The sum and substance of it was that there was no hope, and they wanted the money with the least trouble possible. Hurstwood read his doom. He decided to pay $9,500 to the agent whom they said they would send, keeping $1,300 for his own use. He telegraphed his acquiescence, explained to the representative who called at the hotel the same day, took a certificate of payment, and told Carrie to pack her trunk. He was slightly depressed over this newest move at the time he began to make it, but eventually restored himself. He feared that even yet he might be seized and taken back, so he tried to conceal his movements, but it was scarcely possible. He ordered Carrie’s trunk sent to the depot, where he had it sent by express to New York. No one seemed to be observing him, but he left at night. He was greatly agitated lest at the first station across the border or at the depot in New York there should be waiting for him an officer of the law.
Carrie, ignorant of his theft and his fears, enjoyed the entry into the latter city in the morning. The round green hills sentinelling the broad, expansive bosom of the Hudson held her attention by their beauty as the train followed the line of the stream. She had heard of the Hudson River, the great city of New York, and now she looked out, filling her mind with the wonder of it.
As the train turned east at Spuyten Duyvil and followed the east bank of the Harlem River, Hurstwood nervously called her attention to the fact that they were on the edge of the city. After her experience with Chicago, she expected long lines of cars — a great highway of tracks — and noted the difference. The sight of a few boats in the Harlem and more in the East River tickled her young heart. It was the first sign of the great sea. Next came a plain street with five-story brick flats, and then the train plunged into the tunnel.
“Grand Central Station!” called the trainman, as, after a few minutes of darkness and smoke, daylight reappeared. Hurstwood arose and gathered up his small grip. He was screwed up to the highest tension. With Carrie he waited at the door and then dismounted. No one approached him, but he glanced furtively to and fro as he made for the street entrance. So excited was he that he forgot all about Carrie, who fell behind, wondering at his self-absorption. As he passed through the depot proper the strain reached its climax and began to wane. All at once he was on the sidewalk, and none but cabmen hailed him. He heaved a great breath and turned, remembering Carrie.
“I thought you were going to run off and leave me,” she said.
“I was trying to remember which car takes us to the Gilsey,” he answered.
Carrie hardly heard him, so interested was she in the busy scene.
“How large is New York?” she asked.
“Oh a million or more,” said Hurstwood.
He looked around and hailed a cab, but he did so in a changed way.
For the first time in years the thought that he must count these little expenses flashed through his mind. It was a disagreeable thing.
He decided he would lose no time living in hotels but would rent a flat. Accordingly he told Carrie, and she agreed.
“We’ll look today, if you want to,” she said.
Suddenly he thought of his experience in Montreal. At the more important hotels he would be certain to meet Chicagoans whom he knew. He stood up and spoke to the driver.
“Take me to the Belford,” he said, knowing it to be less frequented by those whom he knew. Then he sat down.
“Where is the residence part?” asked Carrie, who did not take the tall five-story walls on either hand to be the abodes of families.
“Everywhere,” said Hurstwood, who knew the city fairly well. “There are no lawns in New York. All these are houses.”
“Well, then, I don’t like it,” said Carrie, who was coming to have a few opinions of her own.
Chapter XXX
The