Regency Society. Ann LethbridgeЧитать онлайн книгу.
safe with me. All of your secrets. But if you enjoy my company so much, why were you not at home, when I called?’
‘What we spoke of last night…I do not know if I can go through with it. It seemed so right, at the time. But it is foolish of me to make promises in the moonlight that I am afraid to keep in daylight.’
‘I see.’ He reached out and gently touched her arm. ‘And why were you crying? This is the second time that I have come upon you and found you in tears. I do not believe you gave me a clear indication of the problem on that night, either. What is it that distresses you so?’
‘I thought I informed you then that it was none of your concern.’
‘But we hardly knew each other, then. I dare say we are much closer now. One might say, thick as thieves.’ He considered. ‘Although for the most part, I have not found thieves to be much in each other’s confidence.’
‘Then why should I trust you?’
‘Because I care enough to ask, and sincerely hope that the problem will be something I can aid you in. You must admit, I have helped you before.’
She laughed through her tears. ‘It is not so easy, this time, I fear. You tempt me. And it is hard to resist you. But the gentleman you discovered me with in the library? I had hopes…’ She left the sentence unfinished.
Tony stiffened next to her. ‘I see. And does the gentleman reciprocate your feelings?’
She blinked away the tears. ‘I did not claim to have feelings. It would be most insensible of me, at my age, to base everything on “feelings.” Instead, I had hopes.’
‘Oh,’ he said, clearly not understanding at all.
‘He is a gentleman, his income is not as great as my late husband’s nor his estates as fine, nor his title as prestigious. But, truly, I do not expect to find the equal of Robert. My first marriage was extremely fortunate in that regard. Lord Endsted was more than rich enough. And he seemed interested. Of course, they all seem interested, at first.’
‘I should think that they would be. You are a charming and attractive woman, your Grace. Any man would be honoured to have your attention.’ He opened his mouth, ready to say more, then stopped and looked at her. ‘But I take it, the man of your choosing is not among them?’
She shook her head. ‘As I said before, this is not so much about what I choose, or what I feel. I would have been more than willing, should he have offered, or any of the others. It would have been most foolish of me to say nay if he’d have offered matrimony. But he saw me with you, and then Barton was here, when we returned. And he now thinks me inappropriate company.’
Anthony exploded with an oath. ‘He does not want you because other men find you attractive? Then the man is a jealous fool. Or blind. I will find him and call him out.’
‘Don’t be absurd.’ She laid a hand on his arm. ‘He offended me, not you. And if you wish to call out every gentleman who has disappointed me, then I would have to make you a rather long list. I expect it to grow even longer, ere I find a man who will do otherwise. You came upon me in a low mood, that is all. I had not expected, at thirty, to be so thoroughly on the shelf with regard to matrimony. And I am not yet to the point where I find the other suggestions to be flattering.’
‘I should think not,’ he responded indignantly. ‘The cheek of these men. I had thought that one such as yourself, fair as any of the young ladies of the ton, but with grace and poise, with wit as well as intelligence…’ He showed signs of continuing, and then looked down. ‘I would have thought that one such as you would have no end of suitors.’
‘I have had suitors enough.’ She smiled sadly. ‘But they are rarely seeking a wife. I suppose it is a comfort to know that men still find me desirable.’
‘Oh, I must say yes, you are very much that. But that they would be so coarse as to suggest…’
She stared at him. ‘You yourself had admitted that you would have me, should I be so inclined. I fail to see the source of your indignation on my behalf.’
‘But that is before I realised that you would settle for nothing less than marriage.’ He dropped to his knees before her. ‘I am ever your servant, your Grace. You would do me a great honour, should you give me your hand, and I would endeavour to keep you in comfort and safety for the rest of your days.’
She pulled her hand from his grasp. ‘And now you are taunting me with my foolishness.’
‘I assure you, I am not. If you cannot find another who suits you, and do not wish to accept any of the other base offers made to you, then have me.’
‘Most certainly not.’ She had blurted out the words before she could stop to think how they might sound.
He looked up at her, eyes glazed with shock, and skin white, but with a streak of colour on each cheek as though she had slapped him hard. ‘May I ask why?’
‘I should think that would be obvious.’
His voice was steady, but strangely distant. ‘Not to me.’
She ducked her head so that he might not see the fear in her eyes. ‘We hardly know each other.’
‘I doubt you knew the other gentlemen so well as you thought, if you were surprised when none of them offered. So that is not the real reason, is it?’
‘All right. If you insist.’ She steeled herself and said the words, ‘You are a criminal. How could you expect me to accept that fact, and bind myself to you? You would ask me to live in comfort off ill-gotten gains and feel no guilt about it?’
He rose from his knees and dropped back into the seat beside her. There was a flash of pain in his eyes, but when he spoke, his colour was returning to normal and his voice was light, albeit with a slight edge of sarcasm. ‘Women I have supported in the past took care not to know where the money came from. They assumed, correctly, that someone would take care of them, and shield them from the unpleasantness of finances.’ He looked at her. ‘Just as I assumed that, since you took the first money, and had no problem with the theft of the deed, you would not be bothered with the rest.’
‘You assumed incorrectly. I take pride in knowing the details of my finances, although I cannot say I’ve done a very good job with them. And I am tired of men who promise to be a shield against unpleasantness, since unpleasantness has managed to find me in any case.’
‘You would not have the details of it rubbed under your nose. I do not entertain my fence at my rooms. I keep my private life very much removed from my professional one.’
‘Or you will until such time as you are caught and hanged. Then you will drag those around you to disgrace as well.’
The words pained him, and his voice was quiet when he responded. ‘It is not as if I have never considered the fact. And I have taken great care not to be caught. Another reason I never married, I think.’
‘It was probably wise of you. I cannot imagine a crueller fate for a woman than to know such a thing about her husband and to live in fear of his discovery. I could not bear it.’
A shadow passed over his face again. ‘Thank you for making your opinions clear on the matter. I intended no disrespect. I only wished to offer you a solution to a problem that seems to weigh most heavily upon you. The offer stands, of course, for I doubt that my attraction for you will wane. But I will not break my heart over your refusal, since I suspect there is nothing to be done to change your low opinion of me.’ His tone was light, and he seemed to have returned to normal, but she could tell he did not speak the whole truth.
‘Thank you for your understanding.’
‘And thank you for your honesty.’ There was more than a touch of bitterness in the word. ‘And tell me, does your refusal of my more noble offer extend to my friendship as well?’
‘No.’ Her voice was small and unsteady.
‘Because